Sue Scheff: ReputationDefender Helping to Stop Cyberbullying

Source: ReputationDefender

How to Stop Cyber Bullying

Cyber Bullying is an act of aggression exercised online and is typically experienced by web-savvy teens and pre-teens. Cyber bullying, which can take place through social networking sites, forums, emails, instant messaging conversations, and blogs, are aimed at causing emotional harm on the part of the victim. This harm often takes the form of embarrassment, an attack on the victim’s self esteem, or promoting a sense of isolation in the victim through exclusion from social circles.

Cyber bullying, simply put, is easier to accomplish than offline bullying. While an aggressor bullying at school is easily identified, so-called “e-bullies” can hide behind the monitors of their personal computers, protecting the aggressor from the consequences of their tactics.

Human behavior among young people hasn’t changed, but technology and the scope of ramifications has increased dramatically. As the PEW Internet & American Life Project observes, “the impulses behind [cyber bullying] are the same [as those for offline bullying], but the effect is magnified.”

There is no easy way to stop cyber bullying, but there are ways to diminish its effects on your children. Below are a few tips parents and adults can use to help young people understand the potential challenges they face online.

Monitor Your Child’s Mood

Pay attention to your child’s overall mood. Do they seem quiet after spending time online? Does their behavior, aggression, or frustration levels change after they spend time on the Internet?
Teens and children are unlikely to outwardly admit if they are being bullied, largely due to feelings of inferiority, low-self esteem, or embarrassment at social exclusion. Pay attention to changes in your child’s behavior and ask them if they or anyone they know has had mean or hurtful things written about them online.

Talk to Your Kids About Privacy

Engage your child in an honest discussion on the contradiction of terms in the phrase: “privacy on the Internet.” According to the PEW Internet & American Life Project, 15% of teens said that someone they know had forwarded or otherwise posted online communications that they, the teens “assumed was private.” Young people often “copy-paste” instant message conversations or email messages meant to be private, and share them publicly for purposes of embarrassment, social exclusion, or simply malice. There is an easy solution to this type of cyber bullying, widely considered to be the most common form of online harassment: make sure your kids know that nothing published, typed, posted, or shared online is private. Encourage your kids to refrain from communicating ideas online that they would not want their friends, family, or peers to see.

Familiarize Yourself with Your Child’s Online Habits

Make sure you know what it is exactly that your child does when he or she is online. Is your child active on social networking sites like Facebook or MySpace? Studies have shown that young people who use social networking sites are more prone to have experience with cyber bullying, either as an aggressor, as a victim, or even both.

As logic would suggest, the more time your child spends online, particularly if they regularly share their thoughts and ideas on the World Wide Web, the more susceptible he or she is to cyber bullying.

Talk to Your Child About Community Responsibility

According to the PEW Internet & American Life Project’s data on online teens, young people who regularly create content online through blogs, web sites, or photo upload sites are more likely than those teens who do not contribute to the online community to report cyberbullying and online harassment. This data demonstrates that teens that are active in creating a positive community in which they can express themselves are also eager to police it, and thus protecting their community from damaging harassment and hurtful aggression.

Talk to your kids about the fact that their online community can be a healthy place to express themselves, if certain rules are adhered to. The more active your kids are on reporting cyber bullying and online harassment, the easier it will be to reduce its strength.

For more information on keeping your kids safe online, along with a guide to approaching online crime and privacy issues, visit http://www.reputationdefender.com/.

Sue Scheff - Teen Internet Safety

In today's society, the Internet has made its way into almost every American home. It is a well-known fact that the web is a valuable asset for research and learning. Unfortunately, it can also be a very dangerous place for teens. With social networking sites like Myspace and Friendster, chat rooms, instant messaging, and online role-playing video games, our children are at access to almost anyone. Sue Scheff, along with Parent's Universal Resource Experts™, is tackling the dangers of the web.

Keeping tabs on our teens' online habits doesn't just keep them safe from online predators. More and more parents are becoming wary of the excessive hours their teens spend surfing the web, withdrawing from family, friends and activities they used to enjoy. Internet Addiction is a devastating problem facing far too many teens and their families. While medical professionals have done limited research on the topic, more and more are recognizing this destructive behavior and even more, the potential mental effects it can have.

Though the web is a great place for learning and can be safe for keeping in touch, it is important that families understand the potential risks and dangers to find a healthy balance between real and virtual life.

The Basics: The Dangers of Teen Internet Addiction
It’s clear that, for teenagers, spending too much time online can really deter social and educational development. The Internet world is such that there is always something new to do and to distract one from one’s responsibilities. We all do it- take ten minutes here or there to explore our favorite gossip or sports site. There is nothing wrong with using the Internet as a tool for research, news, and even entertainment. After all, the World Wide Web is the world’s most accurate, up to date resource for almost any type of information.

But as the Internet evolves and becomes more tailored to the individual, it grows increasingly easier to develop a dependency on it. This is especially true for teens- a group that tends to be susceptible to flashy graphics and easily enticed by the popularity of social networks. In a sense, the Internet is the new video game or TV show. It used to be that adolescents would sit in front of the TV for hours on end operating a remote, shooting people and racing cars. Now they surf the web. Teens are impressionable and can at times be improperly equipped to handle certain situations with a degree of reason and rationality. And although they may have good intentions, they might be at risk of coming across something inappropriate and even dangerous.

Sexual Predators
We’ve all heard the stories about children entering chat rooms who end up talking to someone older than them who may be looking for something more than merely a chat. These tales may sound far-fetched, or to some, even mundane, because of the publicity they’ve received, but as a parent it would be rather foolish to dismiss them as hearsay or as something that could never actually happen to your child. The fact is, these accounts of sexual predation are all too true and have caused some families a great deal of strain and fear. Even pre-adolescents have been known to join chat rooms. The reality is that there is no real way of knowing who might be in one at any given time. An even scarier thought is that these forums are often sexual predators’ main source of contact with young children. In fact, the popular TV show, [To Catch a Predator (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10912603/)], employs someone to pose as a teen and entice these sex offenders. The show profiles the interactions between them all the way up until the actual meeting. Some of the situations portrayed are horrifying. If you’re the parent of a teen or pre-teen, make sure to monitor Internet activity with regards to chat rooms and educate your child on the potential dangers they present.

Sensitive Subject Matter
Human curiosity is perhaps at its peak during one’s teenage years. That curiosity is what aids teens in the growth and development process. It’s necessary for survival as an adolescent and can provide for some great discoveries and maturation. However, teen curiosity can also potentially lead a person into some questionable situations, and the Internet is a prime medium through which to quell one’s inquisitiveness. Let’s face it- teenagers are anxious to be knowledgeable about topics such as sex, drugs, and other dangerous subject matter.

Talking to your teen about these sensitive subjects before he or she has a chance to search online can be a great way to allay his or her need to surf the web for more information. The Internet might be an excellent tool for presenting interesting data, but it can also grossly misrepresent certain issues. If a teenager wants to learn about sex or drugs via the web, he or she might decide to do a search containing the words “sex” or, perhaps “marijuana.” The results your child might find may not necessarily be the type of educational, instructive material you’d hope they would receive. The Internet may be savvy, but one thing it’s not capable of doing is knowing who is using it at any given time and how to customize its settings. Talk to your children about subjects you feel are important before they have the chance to find out themselves. You never know what they might come across.

Limited Social Growth
There is no better time to experience new things and meet new people than during one’s teenage years. Getting outside, going to social gatherings, and just having a good time with friends are among some of the most productive and satisfying activities in which teenagers can engage. While the Internet can provide a degree of social interaction, online networks and connections cannot replace the benefits of in-person contact. Teen Internet Addiction is dangerous because it limits a person’s options when it comes to communication. Much of learning and growing as a teen comes from the lessons one learns through friendships, fights, disagreements, trends, popularity, etc.

The Internet has made it all too easy for teens to recoil from the pressures of adolescence and remain indoors. The lure of the web can often make it seem as though social networks and online gaming are acceptable substitutes for real life. Teens can find acceptance in chat rooms and message boards, while at school they might be complete outcasts. It’s easy for teenagers to rebuff the idea of interacting with their peers and risking rejection when the Internet can provide for a seemingly relaxed environment. Children need to know that Internet addiction and reliance on online forums will only stunt social growth and make life much more difficult in the future.

Sedentary Lifestyle
Internet dependency also inherently promotes a lifestyle that is not conducive to exercise and physical activity. Many teens tend to become so enthralled in games or chats that peeling them away from the computer can prove to be an ominous task. The entertainment the Internet can provide often trumps the option to leave the house and get exercise. Parents should encourage their teens to use the Internet for school projects and some degree of entertainment, but they should also limit the time that they are allowed to spend on the computer. Begin supporting your child’s involvement in sports teams at an early age and make outside activities fun and interesting. The earlier a child is introduced to the mental and physical benefits of outside activity, the more likely he or she is to avoid inside amusements such as the Internet, TV, and video games.

Nowadays it seems our whole lives can be conducted via the Internet. We can order, purchase, and have groceries delivered all with the click of a few buttons. We can play games, talk to people, find dates, and even attend AA meetings online. The Internet may have made our lives and their day-to-day processes exponentially easier to accomplish, but by the same token it has also increased our dependence on the advantages it can provide. The convenience it creates has been known to cause some people to recoil from outside situations, opting to conduct as much business as possible from home. We must be careful of this trend, especially with teenagers, for whom positive (and negative) social interaction help to form valuable personality and wisdom.

Learn more - click here.

(Sue Scheff) National Crime Prevention Council - Impact of Cyberbullying

Victims of cyberbullying may experience many of the same effects as children who are bullied in person, such as a drop in grades, low self-esteem, a change in interests or depression. However, cyberbullying can seem more extreme to its victims because of several factors:

Occurs in children’s home. Being bullied at home can take away the place children feel most safe.

Can be harsher. Often kids say things online that they wouldn’t say in person, mainly because they can’t see the other person’s reaction.

Far reaching. Kids can send e-mails making fun of someone to their entire class or school with a few clicks, or post them on a Web site for the whole world to see.

Anonymity. Cyberbullies often hide behind screen names and e-mail addresses that don’t identify who they are. Not knowing who is responsible for bullying messages can add to a victim’s insecurity.

May seem inescapable. It may seem easy to get away from a cyberbully by going offline, but for some kids not going online takes away a major place to socialize.

Source: National Crime Prevention Council.

Sue Scheff: SAFE EYES - ONLINE PROTECTION FOR YOUR FAMILY

Safe Eyes 5.0 Parental Control Software Receives Parents’ Choice Award

Safe Eyes™ 5.0, the latest edition of Internet parental control software from InternetSafety.com, has earned a 2008 Parents’ Choice Approved award from the Parents’ Choice Foundation. The award is the latest in a series of honors for the parental monitoring software, including two consecutive Editors’ Choice awards from PC Magazine.

“If you think your family’s safety requires Internet filtering and monitoring, whatever level, this program provides an array of options to get it done,” said the Parents’ Choice Foundation in its recognition of the Safe Eyes product. The 30-year-old foundation is the nation’s oldest non-profit program created to recognize quality children’s media, including books, toys, music and storytelling, software, videogames, television and websites.

“This commendation from the Parents’ Choice Foundation reflects the growing concern that parents have over their children’s Internet use as well as the wide range of control choices that Safe Eyes offers,” said Forrest Collier, CEO of InternetSafety.com. “Every child and every family is different, so flexibility is essential. The product lets parents decide how their children use the Internet.”

Safe Eyes is a comprehensive program that enables parents to easily block objectionable websites, control Internet use by length of time as well as time of day and day of the week, block or record instant messenger chats, and block peer-to-peer file sharing programs that may expose children to dangerous material. It also allows parents to limit email use to certain addresses, and receive alerts when children post inappropriate or personal information on social networking sites like MySpace and Facebook.

The software provides broader controls than any other filtering product, including the ability to define which websites will be blocked by category, URL and keyword; receive instant alerts about inappropriate online behavior by email, text message or phone call; and remotely change program settings or view reports from any Internet-enabled computer.

Safe Eyes is also the only program of its kind that can be used in mixed Mac/PC households. A single $49.95 annual subscription covers up to three Mac and/or PC computers with the ability to customize settings for each child and enforce them on any machine. The product’s website blacklist is updated automatically every day, eliminating the need for manual updates. Safe Eyes can be downloaded at http://www.internetsafety.com/affiliate/default.php?id=1044&p=/safe-eyes/.

All Parents’ Choice Awards winners are posted to the Parents’ Choice Foundation website (http://www.parents-choice.org/).

About InternetSafety.com
Established in 1999, InternetSafety.com specializes in providing Internet safety solutions. Its flagship software, Safe Eyes, is the two-time recipient of the PC Magazine Editors’ Choice Award and was rated as the #1 parental control solution by America’s leading consumer advocacy publication. The company’s Safe Eyes and EtherShield products are providing online protection for PCs and Macs in homes, businesses and schools across more than 125 countries.

Sue Scheff: Internet Gossip

By Connect with Kids


“Sure enough, I had a parent come to my door and say, ‘Your daughter has been saying some rather nasty things about my daughter on this website.’”

– Patti Thrift, Mother

High school students have always spread gossip in the halls, on the walls and on the phone. Now, it’s on the Internet, too. On various message boards specific to communities around the country, kids write about whom they hate, whom they think is pregnant or has an STD and record other often hurtful rumors that may or may not be true.

Sixteen-year-old Jessica remembers once when some kids at her school wrote cruel things about her on the Web.

“They were just making fun of me,” she says. “You know, she’s really ugly, she’s this, she’s that, ba-ba-ba.”

Jessica’s 11-year-old sister, Emma, admits she’s used the Web to write nasty things about another girl, though she regrets it now.

“After a while, you’re like, how could I have been so mean? Like, why did I do that?” she says.

The other girl’s father eventually became so frustrated with what Emma had said that he came to her door and demanded her mother make her stop.

Experts say gossip on the Internet can be more harmful than the old-fashioned kind. It’s often anonymous because kids use fake screen names. It has the power of the written word, so it lasts longer and is taken more seriously. And, unlikely ugly words on the bathroom wall, there’s no way to scratch it out.

“Online gossip is to hearsay gossip probably what nukes are to dynamite,” says Dr. Ramah Commanday, a school psychologist. “It can get EXTREMELY raunchy.”

If your kids are victims of online gossip, Dr. Commanday suggests putting the gossip into perspective.

“Point out to them how what’s being said on the screen differs from what everyone knows about you as a person,” Dr. Commanday says.

You can also try what worked for Emma: Keep your kids off the offensive website!

“When she was using it all the time, her name was on there all the time. People were writing things about her,” explains Patti Thrift, Emma’s mother. “Since she has no longer had access to that, she’s no longer a topic of conversation.”

Experts say that any time your child is on the Internet, you should know what he or she is doing there. Online gossip is just another reason why.

Tips for Parents



Most of us remember passing notes during class or swapping stories over lunch with our friends in middle and high school. But with more teens accessing the Internet these days, it appears that gossip has gone high-tech. Teens are using message boards, instant messaging and even email to air out their frustrations – often in hurtful language – about their teachers and peers.

According to an Internet Report from the UCLA Center for Communication Policy, 97% of kids aged 12 to 18 access the Internet on a regular basis. What they’re doing on the Internet, however, may be surprising. The U.S. Department of Justice reports that approximately one in every 17 kids is threatened or harassed while using the Internet. In fact, most don’t tell their parents or other adults, and if they do, the adults often don’t know how to stop the online teasing.

Gossiping, whether it’s in the halls or on a message board, more often than not leads to hurt feelings. According to the Nemours Foundation, if teens spend enough time gossiping and passing on stories they don’t know are true, eventually no one will believe anything they say, even when it is the truth. Teens who gossip shouldn’t expect to be trusted ever again. Once friends learn that a peer can’t resist spreading secrets around, they won’t tell him or her anything personal. And if a teen gossips about personal or important issues, he or she could even end up in trouble at school and at home. Teachers don’t appreciate students who make it tough for other students to learn, and parents won’t be happy to hear that their child is causing trouble in school.

If you’ve heard your teen taking teasing and gossiping to a hurtful level, it’s time to remedy the situation. The experts at Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Minnesota offer the following advice for curbing your teen’s gossiping and teasing:

Cultivate your teen’s compassion. Talk to him or her about feelings – how emotional blows can hurt as much as physical ones. “You wouldn’t throw a rock at that boy, would you? So you shouldn’t call him a ‘zit-face’ either.”



Give your teen a simple test he or she can use to judge if his or her teasing is playful or hurtful: “How would I feel if someone said this about me?”



Talk to your teen about the when and where of playful teasing. He or she shouldn’t always resort to sarcasm or jokes at someone else’s expense in order to get a laugh.



Examine your own behavior and that of other family members. Do you rib your children at length, even after they plead with you to stop? Do you tease inappropriately, that is, about the way people look or the habits they have? Are you confusing razzing with teaching and discipline – for instance, do you communicate your frustration about your teen’s messy room by calling him “Mr. Slob”? Make sure that your own teasing (and that of everyone else in your household) is good-natured, not aggressive or manipulative.



As a parent, it is also important to regulate how your teen uses the Internet. If you know what your teen is doing while online, you can better prevent him or her from visiting message boards where the temptation to gossip exists. The Media Awareness Network suggests considering the following questions concerning how your teen surfs the Net:

Are you involved in your teen’s online activities? Do you know what he or she is doing and whom your teen is talking to when he or she is on the Internet?



Does your family have a set of rules or an agreement for appropriate Internet use?



Do you make Internet use a family activity by guiding your teen to good sites and teaching him or her how to do safe, effective searches?



Have you taught your teen not to believe everything he or she reads online and to check online information with an adult or with another source?
If your teen has her or his own website, have you checked to make sure it doesn’t contain harmful or hurtful information?
Have you talked to your teen about responsible online behavior? Does he or she understand that making threats or harassing others online can be considered illegal activities?

References



Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Minnesota
Media Awareness Network
Nemours Foundation
UCLA Center for Communication Policy
U.S. Department of Justice

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) - Parents, learn how to protect your children Online

Daily I received phone calls and emails from parents with concerns about their kids Internet Usage as well as what they are reading on their Social Networking pages such as MySpace.Many of the kids today are not aware of the lasting effect a humorous picture today can cause for the future.

Our children today are the same kids that will be applying for colleges and jobs several years from now. However, to a child/teen, that seems like a lifetime away.As a parent, we can help monitor their activity by always keeping your lines of communication open.

Another option for parents is Reputation Defender MyChild. This service will send you monthly reports on your child's name and what is being said about them. Many parents have signed up for this service, and personally - I think it is a priceless in today's unregulated cyberspace.

Protecting our children comes natural to most parents - now we have to expand our protection to the expanding world of the web.

As a Parent Advocate, I am contining to promote Cyber Safety. I have personally meet with a Florida Senator several times as well as my Congresswoman and several attorneys. We will continue to fight for Internet Safety not only for children, but for everyone. My book, Wit's End will bring more resources for parents.

By Sue Scheff, Parents Universal Resource Experts

Bullying goes high tech in a cyber world

Another example of how parents need to take charge on what their kids are doing online - Cyberspace is becoming more and more risky - and Cyberbullying is climbing and harming more and more kids.

Bullying Goes High Tech in a Cyber World
by Isabelle Mascarenas

Parents Universal Resource Experts is proactive in educating parents today on the issues surrounding our kids - the most critical today is the dangers of the Internet. As a Parent Advocate, (Sue Scheff), I believe we have to keep informed and up to date on Cyber-Safety.