Sue Scheff: It's Your Sex Life - For Teens - Be Smart About it - Know the Risks

Yikes, this is one of the most difficult and sensitive subjects parents dread to talk to their kids about, but it is also just as critical.

Whether you believe your teen is having sex or not, the conversation is important. Your teen will rely on his/her peers to help educate them if you don't.

MTV's - "It's Your Sex Life" helps teach your teens about safe sex, protection, if you are ready for this big step, as well as the risks of HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases (STD). In Broward County, there are places your teens can get tested for STD's. If you are not in Florida, find your local center, click here.

If you are a teenager, don't wait for your partner or your health care provider to start the conversation, take charge. After all, this Is YOUR (Sex) Life. By talking about sex (that includes what you feel ready, or not, to do) you are showing that you care about yourself and your partner, and that your are in control.

It's YOUR (Sex) Life and that means you decide when you are ready-and when to wait to have sex. But you have to communicate how you are feeling to your partner. Otherwise how can they know what you are thinking? Check out these tips to help you talk with your partner about waiting to have sex.

Protect yourself! Everyone knows about protection, but how many think that it can't happen to them? They are immune to STD's, they can't get pregnant that one time, etc. Stop, think twice - it can happen and will happen if you don't take steps to protect yourself.

Yes, it is your teens' sex life, but it is still your child. Open the door of communication, talk to your teens. Read websites such as It's Your Sex Life for resources and information to help educate yourself and today's teens.

It's Your (Sex) Life, an ongoing partnership of MTV and the Kaiser Family Foundation to help young people make responsible decisions about their sexual health, is working with Planned Parenthood Federation of America, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and other partners nationwide to bring you the GYT: Get Yourself Tested campaign and Get Yourself Talking.

In South Florida Planned Parenthood goal is to ensure that every individual has the information, services, and freedom to make healthy, responsible decisions about sex, sexuality, and parenthood. They also are part of GTY: Get Yourself Tested and Get Yourself Talking - print your coupon here.

Being an educated parent can help you to have safer and healthier teens.

Watch video and read more.

Sue Scheff: Talk to your teens about sex - 100,000 condoms distributed at the Olympics

Yes, it is true, a little fact that many are not aware of. The Vancouver Winter Olympics had 100,000 condoms handed out in the Olympic village.

The distribution of free condoms at the Olympics goes back at least to 1992 and Barcelona. In 2000, Sydney organizers thought that 70,000 would be enough. They were wrong and had to send out for 20,000 more. Beijing also ordered 100,000 condoms with an Olympic motto: Faster, higher, stronger.

The International Olympic Committee also gets credit for acting like a responsible parent: In addition to handing out condoms, they run HIV and AIDS information campaigns in the Olympic Village. And the U.S. Curling Association has gone a step further: In partnership with Kodiak Technology Group, they have introduced the Hurry Hard condom, named for a phrase curlers chant to get their teammates to sweep the ice faster. Proceeds from the prophylactics - which sport a happy cartoon curling stone on their label above the slogan "Be smart, stay safe" - are split between USA Curling and Monterey County AIDS prevention. - MSNBC

Whether people believe this is appropriate or not, or whether it is an appropriate spending of funds, at end of the day it is about being educated about having sex with strangers (or just having sex period). Famous or infamous, athletes or fans, you need to learn about safe sex.

This starts with parenting. Talk to your kids about sex education, sexually transmitted diseases, as well as answer any questions they may have. As difficult as this is for some parents, it will be much harder to have a daughter that is pregnant at 16 (or younger) or a child that contracts HPV or genital warts.

Talking doesn't seem so hard after all.


Be an educated parent, you will have safer and healthier teens.

Learn more on Examiner.

Sue Scheff: Teens and the Pressure to Have Sex

Teenage Sexuality and the Pressures to Have Sex

We began this site with the intention of providing useful information and advising on all issues regarding teen pregnancy. We thought it might also be helpful to parents to understand some of the reasons teenage girls are choosing to have sex at younger and younger ages. The idea of sexuality has become embedded in almost every part of our society.

The media is crawling with sexual innuendo and suggestive imagery; music and magazines put forth all kinds of evocative material while movies and TV shows often feature situations in which teenagers are experimenting with increasingly scandalous sexual behavior. It's no wonder that young women often feel pressured to conform to societal standards of acceptable sexual conduct and do so by allowing sex to occur earlier than it otherwise might have. Right now nearly half of teens in the US ages from 15-19 have had sex at least one time. So, if fifty percent of AmericaÕs teenagers are participating in sexual intercourse, itÕs not difficult to imagine the amount of pregnancies that are occurring as a result.

The studies done on teenage pregnancies show staggering results. If you are the parent of a teen or pre-adolescent, it is wise to educate yourself on the current trends regarding pregnancy and sexual activity in order to be informed about what pressures your child might be exposed to. A survey done by [The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy(http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/ )], an organization dedicated to reducing the number of unwanted teen pregnancies, reveals that 46.8 percent of all high school students in America had have sexual intercourse at least once. The National Campaign has also reported that close to half of all pregnancies yearly in the United States are unplanned, and that the rate of unwanted or unplanned pregnancies is highest among teens.

When thinking about the causes and consequences of teen sexuality and pregnancy, a parent should consider some additional factors that play into the topic. There are some further outlying trends in terms of teenage sexual behavior that affect a teenÕs decision to participate in sexual activity. How much does the idea of peer pressure actually influence teen sex? Where are teens experiencing their first sexual encounter? What are the tendencies among age groups- that is, are teens in relationships with older partners more likely to engage in sexual behavior than those who are closer in age to their partner? Another issue to bear in mind is that of drugs and alcohol, and how often substances play a part in the choice to have sex. Being prepared in these areas prior to a discussion can help a parent remain open-minded instead of intimidating or harsh.

Pressure to Have Sex
Perhaps because of the media's representation of sex, or the desire to portray a "cool" image to friends and schoolmates, it's no doubt that teenagers today feel the pressure of having sex. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy reports that at least ten percent of teenage girls Òdescribe their first sexual experience as [unwanted (http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/resources/pdf/SS/SS3_YoungAdols.pdf )] Although this may not mean the encounter was completely unwarranted, it means that there was still a level of hesitation and uncertainty on the part of the female. In addition, more younger sexually active teens report wishing they had waited longer to have sex than do older sexually active teens. The fact is, many teenagers submit to the idea of sex merely to assuage the pressure that accompanies not having it.

Birth Control
One of the most detrimental factors to teens is a lack of the use and knowledge of birth control methods available to them. A common thought is that a girl cannot get pregnant the first time she has sex, and she therefore may decide to forego using any type of birth control whatsoever. However, more and more, teenagers are finding out about different contraceptive options and utilizing them. Around two-thirds of teenagers say that they used some type of contraceptive during their very first experience with sexual intercourse.

Differences in Age
One interesting fact is that among teenagers around the age of 14, almost half in relationships report dating someone at least two years older. Teens are often romantically drawn to older people, yet the gaps in age have shown sexual intercourse to happen earlier and more frequently than in relationships where the partners are closer in age. The rate at which teenagers who are two or more years apart have sex almost doubles compared with the rate for those who are the same age. In addition, if the age difference is three or more years, the rate goes up another ten percent.

Substance Abuse as a Factor
For many parents the idea of their teen having sex is enough of a disturbing reality that adding the notion that alcohol or drugs could play a part in the act is too much to take. But turning a blind eye to the possibility could be very hazardous to your relationship with your child and also to his or her safety. Knowing the truth about teens and the affect substances have on judgment can enhance a parentÕs understanding of why teens often choose to have sex earlier than they might be ready to. Not only do drugs and alcohol have the ability to influence teensÕ decisions in a potentially sexual situation, but studies have also shown that teenagers who are sexually active are more likely on the whole to abuse drugs and alcohol. A survey done by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy showed that almost half of sexually active teens used marijuana in the past, while only ten percent of non-sexually active had tried it.

We believe that no matter what a family's views on sex and pregnancy may be, communication between family members early and often about the subject is key to not only a teen's safety but also to a functional relationship between teenagers and their parents. One of the core hindrances in communication is the divergence of opinions about sex and what sex means. As a parent, you probably believe you know what is best for your child, and do not see other options as viable.

For parents, it is easy to overlook the fact that teens truly believe they know themselves and how the world works, and act accordingly. Sometimes the difference in age between a parent and child creates discrepancies in judgment, and both parties involved think their ideas are the most sensible. But whether the barriers are based on generational differences or contrasting personalities, there are still ways a parent can assert guidance without coming across as authoritative or imposing.

Adolescent sexual behavior cannot always be prevented, but if you are a parent, there are avenues you can take to educate your teen so that they will be informed to make the best decision for themselves when the time comes. This site aims to promote positive communication between parents and teens, and also will help educated parents so that they may be as informed as possible on the subject.

Learn more.

Sue Scheff: Teen Pregnancy Prevention

Source: National Campaign To Prevent Teen Pregnancy



May 6, 2009 is the National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. How do you score? Take the National Day Quiz and find out.





Take the National Day Quiz Grab the National Day widget


Teens Parents


http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/national/pdf/2009/2009_ND_obama_message.pdf - Letter from President Obama.

Hundreds of thousands of teens nationwide are expected to participate in the eighth annual National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy on May 6, 2009. The purpose of the National Day is straightforward. Too many teens still think “It can’t happen to me.” The National Day helps teens understand that it can happen to them and that they need to think seriously about what they would do in the moment.

Why a National Day? Since the early 1990s, the teen pregnancy rate has declined 38 percent and the teen birth rate has declined 32%. In fact, few social problems have improved quite as dramatically over the past decade plus. The most recent news on this front, however, has not been positive. According to data released in March 2009 by the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS), the U.S. teen birth rate increased for the second year in a row since 2005. These increases follow 14 years of continuous decline in the teen birth rate. That is, after declining 34% between 1991 and 2005, the teen birth rate has now increased 5% between 2005 and 2007.

“Clearly a renewed focus on preventing teen pregnancy is needed,” said Sarah Brown, Chief Executive Officer of The National Campaign. “We hope that – in some modest way – the quiz will help teens think carefully about sex and contraception, the possibility of pregnancy, and the lifelong challenges of being a parent.”

About the National Day. On the National Day and throughout May, teens nationwide will be asked to go to The National Campaign’s teen website—StayTeen.org —and take a short, scenario-based quiz (available in English and Spanish). The quiz challenges young people to consider what they would do in a number of sexual situations.

In 2008, more than 300,000 people took the National Day Quiz—up from 75,000 in 2002. Participants were able to take the quiz online or download a print version in English or Spanish. National Day Quiz discussion guides for parents and teens were also available and were downloaded thousands of times.

Over 1,000 teens who took the National Day Quiz took part in a post-quiz evaluation survey. Among the findings:

73% said the Quiz made them think about what they might do in such situations;
54% said the Quiz made the risks of sex and teen pregnancy seem more real to them;
50% said they’d learned something new from the Quiz about the consequences of sex;
55% said they’d talk to their friends about the situations described in the Quiz;
51% said the Quiz made them think about things they hadn’t thought about before;
54% said they’d encourage others to take the Quiz;
57% said some of the situations in the Quiz were things that they or their friends had faced; and
48% said they’d talk to their parents or other adults about the situations described in the Quiz.

Additionally, 56% reported taking the quiz as part of a school activity and 31% said they took the quiz at home. About one-third of teens (32%) learned about the quiz from a parent, teacher, or another trusted adult and another one-third (30%) of teens learned about the quiz from one of our online media partners.

Partnerships. The National Campaign works with a variety of partners to make the National Day a success year after year.

National Partnerships. National Day partners include a diverse group of media outlets, health sector leaders, education leaders, businesses, youth-serving groups, groups representing elected officials, fatherhood and male involvement groups, faith-based groups, and other prominent national organizations. These groups promote the National Day to their members, affiliates, customers, audiences, and contacts in ways the National Campaign could never have afforded or accomplished on its own. For an up-to-date list of this year’s National Day Partners, visit our Partners page.

Media Partnerships. Each year, The National Campaign works with a variety of online and traditional media partners to spread the word about the National Day. Among this year’s partners are ABC, ABC Family, NBC, The N, Seventeen, CWtv.com, Maury, and many others. For more information about our National Day media partnerships, visit our Media Partners page.

State and Local Partnerships. The National Day continues to be a remarkable organizing event for states and communities nationwide. To help these state and local promotional efforts, the National Campaign develops and distributes a variety of teen-friendly materials—such as National Day wristbands and pens—to help raise awareness of the National Day among teens and adult professionals who work with teens. For a state-by-state breakdown of National Day activities, please visit our What’s Happening in 2009? section. If you are planning a 2009 National Day event, please tell us about it.

Outside information:

More information about teen pregnancy.
HIV Testing for Teens.
Teen Pregnancy Website

Sue Scheff: Teens and Birth Control

Source: TeensHealth

One of the toughest decisions that a lot of teens face is whether to have sex. If people decide to have sex, it means they must also take responsibility to protect themselves from unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

In the United States, the teenage pregnancy rate is higher than in many other countries. Approximately 1 million teens become pregnant every year and most didn't plan on becoming pregnant. In addition to preventing unplanned pregnancies, people who have sex must protect themselves from STDs. For those having sex, condoms must always be used every time to protect against STDs.

The most effective way to prevent pregnancy and STDs is document.write(defabstinence120)
abstinence. Couples who do decide to have sex can choose from many effective birth control methods.

Check the articles below to learn some important information about different methods of birth control. You may be surprised — some popular ones aren't as effective as people might think.

Birth Control Patch
Birth Control Pill
Birth Control Ring
Birth Control Shot
Cervical Cap
Condom
Diaphragm
Emergency Contraception (Morning-After Pill)
Implantable Contraception
IUD
Fertility Awareness
Spermicide
Withdrawal

Sue Scheff - Teen Birth Rates Up?

Teen birth rates up? Parents need to take steps to learn why - what can they do to help their young teens understand having a child is not easy. Before you are faced with this difficult and sensitive situations, continue opening communication about sex as well as contraceptives. Years ago a young teen getting pregnant seemed like the worst possible situation - now having unprotected sex can not only lead to pregnancy and big decisions for young teens, but deadly diseases. Take time to learn more.

Source: Connect with Kids

“It does give them another way to look at themselves, and to look at their bodies as a powerful force and not just sort of ornamental.”
– Laura Mee, Ph.D., Child Psychologist.

One girl gives birth to a baby. Another plays basketball with her brother. What’s the connection?

Studies show girls who play sports are less likely to have sex and less likely to get pregnant. One reason may be these athletes gain confidence and respect for their bodies.

“It does give them another way to look at themselves, and to look at their bodies as a powerful force and not just sort of ornamental,” explains child psychologist, Dr. Laura Mee.

Experts say experiencing pressure on the court gives them the strength to resist pressure from a boyfriend. And, in their free time, it gives them something else to focus on besides how they look, “Their hair, their clothes, their, like reputation… mostly all they want to do is impress the boys,” says 12-year-old Claire.

What’s more, studies have found that athletic girls have higher self-esteem, better grades and less stress.

So, experts say, encourage your daughters to get involved in sports and then cheer them on. “Make it as important that your daughters have sporting events as you would for your son that you treat them as equally as you possibly can, that you support and encourage and that the other children, whether they are male or female, support and encourage each other in their sports activities,” says Mee.

Tips for Parents

Sex is something parents should constantly discuss with their teens, but you should really give your teens “the talk” before summer and Christmas vacation. According to one study, teens are much more likely to lose their virginity during the months of June and December than any other time of the year. Almost 19,000 adolescents in grades seven through twelve participated in the survey, which identified the month they had sexual intercourse for the first time. The survey also asked if the act was with a romantic partner or was more “casual.”

The findings, published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, show June as the most popular month, followed closely by December. Summer and Christmas vacations are believed to be the cause with school out and teens with time on their hands. More events are also planned in June, including high school proms, graduations and summertime parties. The “holiday season effect” makes December the second highest month for teen sex. Experts explained that during the holidays, young females in relationships are more likely to have sex. The holidays usually bring people together and make them closer. The same is true with teenagers.

All studies indicate messages from parents regarding sex are extremely important to teens (Washington State Department of Health). In fact, teens state parents as their number one resource for information on the topic. This talk may be uncomfortable for many parents, so the National Parent Teacher Association (PTA) has provided the following tips for parents:

Practice. It may take practice to feel comfortable talking about sex with your kids. Rehearsing with a friend or partner can help. Be honest. Admit to your child if talking about sex is not easy for you. You might say, “I wish I’d talked with you about sex when you were younger, but I found it difficult and kept putting it off. My parents never talked to me about it, and I wish they had.”

Pay attention. Often parents do not talk to their teens about sex because they did not notice they wanted or needed information. Not all teens ask direct questions. Teenagers are often unwilling to admit they do not know everything. Notice what is going on with your child and use that as a basis for starting a conversation about sexual topics.

Look for chances to discuss the sexual roles and attitudes of men and women with your child. Use television show, ads and articles as a start.

Listen. When you give your full attention, you show that you respect your child’s thoughts and feelings. Listening also gives you a chance to correct wrong information they may have gotten from friends. As you listen, be sensitive to unasked questions. “My friend Mary is going out on a real date,” could lead to a discussion of how to handle feelings about touching and kissing.
Parents can also share their feelings on the topic through words and actions. The best way is to talk to teens. Even though it may seem like they are not listening – they are. To have a healthy and effective discussion on sex, the Advocates for Youth Campaign encourages parents to:
Educate yourself and talk with your children about issues of sexuality. Do not forget about discussing the importance of relationships, love, and commitment.

Discuss explicitly with preadolescents and teens the value of delaying sexual initiation and the importance of love and intimacy as well as of safer sex and protecting their health.

Encourage strong decision-making skills by providing youth with age-appropriate opportunities to make decisions and to experience the consequences of those decisions. Allow young people to make mistakes and encourage them to learn from them.

Encourage teens to create a resource list of organizations to which they can turn for assistance with sexual health, and other, issues. Work together to find books and Web sites that offer accurate information.

Actively support comprehensive sexuality education in the schools. Find out what is being taught about sexuality, who is teaching it, and what your teens think about it.
Actively voice your concerns if the sexuality education being taught in local public schools is biased, discriminatory, or inaccurate, has religious content, or promotes a particular creed or denomination.

Demonstrate unconditional love and respect for your children.

References
Advocates for Youth Campaign
Journal of Marriage and Family
National Parent Teacher Association
Washington State Department of Health

Sue Scheff - Teenage Pregnancy

Every year, approx. 750,000 teenage girls become pregnant in the United States. That is roughly 1/3 of the age group’s population, a startling fact! Worse, more than 2/3 of teens who become mothers will not graduate from high school.

If you are a parent who has recently discovered that your teenage daughter is pregnant or may be pregnant, we understand your fear and pain. This is a difficult and serious time in both yours and your daughters’ life.
Our organization, Parent’s Universal Resource Experts (P.U.R.E.™) works closely with parents and teenagers in many troubling situations, such as unplanned pregnancy. We understand how you feel!

No matter what happens, you and your daughter must work together to make the best choice for her and her unborn child. Your support and guidance is imperative as a mother. You CAN make it through as a family!

We have created this website as a reference for parents dealing with teenage pregnancy in hope that we can help you through the situation and make the best decisions.

Please visit our website, Help Your Teens, for more information as well as support.

Sue Scheff: Tips When Your Child Starts Dating

Source: OneToughJob

Your Child's Behavior at 12 -15 years old

As your child moves from childhood into the teenage years, she will encounter many social and cultural challenges. It is an exciting time and yet a scary time for your child. As she moves more toward independence, she will be convinced she knows everything, you know nothing and you were literally born yesterday. In fact, at this time, she needs you more than ever. By knowing what to expect at this stage of your child's life, you are better equipped to interact effectively with her. By communicating clearly with your child and listening to what she has to say and the emotions she is expressing, you can help your child through this stage.

Tips for Dating

1.Talk with your child about what she hopes for from dating and from relationships.
2.Let her know your concerns and hopes for her as she goes out on dates.
3.Know who your child is hanging out with and dating.
4.Talk with the parents of those kids.
5.Set clear rules about who can be with her in your home when there are no adults present.
6.Teach manners and how to be respectful of others.
7.Let your child know she can always call home if she is uncomfortable or feels worried.
8.Tell your child to have fun—dating should be fun.

Sue Scheff: Talking the Talk

Discussing sex with your tweens and teens can help them make better choices. Here's how.

Temma Ehrenfeld
Newsweek Web Exclusive
Updated: 10:28 AM ET Jul 31, 2008

What kids think about sex might surprise you, but what they're doing sexually—and when they're doing it—might surprise you even more. In a study this year of more than a 1,000 tweens (kids between the ages 11 and 14), commissioned by Liz Claiborne Inc. and loveisrespect.org, nearly half said they'd had a boy- or girlfriend, and one in four said that oral sex or going "all the way" is part of a tween romance. The parents' view? Only 7 percent of parents surveyed in this study think their own child has gone any further than "making out."
The whole subject of sex is so delicate that some parents put off talking to kids about it, believing their child is still too young, or because they're not sure what to say.

They "finally sit down to have the Big Talk," says Dr. Mark Schuster, chief of general pediatrics at Children's Hospital Boston, "and it turns out their teen is already having sex." (The average age of first intercourse in the United States is 16, according to the Centers for Disease Control)The good news is that there's plenty of evidence indicating that kids whose parents do discuss sex with them are more cautious than their peers—more likely to put off sex or use contraception. They also have fewer partners. Coaching for parents helps, as well.

Parents who participated in a training program about how to have those difficult conversations, Schuster reports, were six times more likely than a control group to have discussed condoms with their children. So what did the parents learn? Here are nine "talking sex" tips:

1. Find the moment. Instead of saying "it's time to talk about you-know," let the topic arise naturally—say, during a love scene in a video, or while passing a couple on a park bench. It helps to think about opening lines in advance.

2. Don't be vague about your own feelings. You know you don't want your ninth grader getting pregnant, but is oral sex OK? How do you feel about your daughter going steady or dating several boys casually? Consider the messages you want your kids to hear.

3. Anticipate the roadblocks that a teen or tween might set up. If they tend to say "uh huh," try asking open-ended questions or suggesting a variety of possible ways someone might feel in a relevant situation.

4. Be a good listener. Avoid lecturing and don't interrupt once your child opens up. Restate in your own words what you hear and identify feelings.

5. Help your child consider the pros and cons of sexual choices.

6. Relate sex and physical intimacy to love, caring and respect for themselves and their partner.

7. Teach strategies to manage sexual pressure. It may not be obvious to your daughter that she can suggest going to the movies or a restaurant instead of lounging with her boyfriend on a sofa without adult supervision. Or she may not know she can set and stick to a clear rule (such as no touching below the waist). Discuss the fact that "no means no." A simple strategy like getting up and going to the bathroom can give a girl time to regroup.

8. Don't be afraid to get down to specifics. If your teenage daughter or son is spending every afternoon alone with a main squeeze, and you're simply hoping they're using condoms, go ahead and ask whether they are sexually active and using birth control. You can buy a box of condoms and talk about how to use them—practice on a cucumber. A good laugh won't hurt your relationship.

9. Make the conversation ongoing—not a talk that happens once or twice. For more tips on talking to kids about sex and other sensitive issues, visit Children Now, a nonprofit nonpartisan organization's guide to talking to kids of all ages about sexual subjects. Or The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry's "Facts for Families."