Parenting Teens: Monitoring their Social Networking Sites - Find the Balance

Snooping vs monitoring: Find the balance

This has been a debate for years and the answer comes back to when safety trumps privacy...
Especially now as technology is in the hands of every teens and many tweens, parents need to be in tune with how are teens are dealing with peer pressure, friendships and most of all, school life.


Teenagers earn their trust with their parents.  Respecting each others privacy should always be priority, however if you fear your teenager is heading down a dark path, and is not willing to talk to you or a third party (therapist, guidance counselor, relative or adult friend), you may have to cross the line of trust.

What are some of the warning signs that may prompt you to cross this line?

• Is your teen becoming very secretive?  Sure, teens do like their privacy, however if you have a "gut feeling" something is deeper than a secret, you may have to cross that line.
• Is your teen becoming withdrawn? Again, teens will develop some attitudes of not wanting to be with adults, however when it becomes extreme, it may be time to cross that line.
• Is your teen changing peer groups?  And this is not into a better one, however to one that is less than desirable?  You will again attempt to talk to your teen and find out why and what happened to the other friends.
• Is your teens eating habits changing? 
• Is your teen sleeping a lot? Bloodshot eyes? Do you suspect drug use?
• Is your teen sneaking out?  Becoming extremely defiant? Not respecting your boundaries?
• Overall, is your teen slowly becoming a child you don't recognize?

Are you snooping or are you legitimately monitoring your teens?

Should you read your teen's diary? Scroll through their text messages or even befriend them on their social networking sites?   That is a personal question only you can answer.

Remember writing can be very healthy for teens (and adults for that matter), so if your teen isn't giving you any valid reasons to "invade their privacy" - respect it.

Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens.

Continue reading on Examiner.com: Snooping vs monitoring: Do you read your teens texts? - Fort Lauderdale Parenting Teens | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/parenting-teens-in-fort-lauderdale/snooping-vs-monitoring-do-you-read-your-teens-texts#ixzz1Ei2baSHs

Sue Scheff: Tips for Parents - Teens Staying Home Alone

By Denise Witmer


When your preteen is too old for daycare, what do you do? As it happens often when parenting a teen, it’s tough decision time. You’ll either need to find someone to watch him/her, like a school mate’s parents, a relative or a neighbor or start allowing him/her to stay at home alone. Here are five tips if you choose to let him/her stay at home:



Establish a routine and write it down. Set a time to get up, a time to have breakfast, a chore to be completed, etc. Perhaps some reading before television or letter writing to pen pals or grandparents can be added. Brainstorm a list of things to do together and then make it a part of the routine. A healthy routine will become a habit. It promotes a good attitude and keeps your teen active. It is all to easy to fall into a unhealthy routine of sleeping half the day and then doing nothing but playing video games when a teen is home alone in the summer or spending all of their time on the phone with friends after school. By coming to a consensus, writing down the routine and checking up on your teen, he/she will follow it and be a much nicer person to come home to.





Make your expectations and the rules clear. Set up some rewards/consequences for following/not following the rules. Be sure to be fair and firm with the rules and let your teen have a say.



Role play situations with your teen. Examples: a stranger comes to the door, answering the phone or if your teen falls and hurts himself. Do each situation the right way and the wrong way. Have your teen tell you why the wrong way was wrong. This will help you both to communicate clearly about what is expect in each situation.



Inform your workplace that your child will be 'calling in'. While personal calls may be frowned upon, your parenting responsibilities need to take priority. You and your teen will feel more comfortable if you establish a call time. Most employers will be understanding of this.





Have a back up plan available if things should go awry. If your teen gets sick or is able to handle a whole day alone, perhaps having him go to an afternoon camp or to a friends. You could also have a relative or neighbor check on him/her. You will worry less if you have an alternate plan in the wings.



Teens Home Alone FAQ:





At what age is it okay to leave my teen home alone after school?
At what age is it okay to leave my teen home alone overnight?
My teen is going to be home alone this summer. What can I do?
We are going away and do not want to leave our teen home alone. What should we do?
We've heard our teen is planning a party in our home while we are going to be away. What should we do?
Our teen had a party while we were away and there was underage drinking. What should we do?





Learn more: http://parentingteens.about.com/od/familylife/a/teenshomealone.htm

Sue Scheff: Parenting ADHD Kids

Source: ADDitude Magazine

Help Socially Immature Kids Make Friends and Succeed at School

How to help children with ADHD improve behavior and social skills to make friends and do well at school.

The problem: The social maturity of children with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) may be a few years behind that of their peers. In addition, they have difficulty reading verbal and physical social cues, misinterpreting remarks, or not getting jokes or games. Thus, their responses and reactions are often inappropriate, and it may be difficult to make friends their own age.

The reason: ADHD is a developmental disorder in which brain maturation is delayed. The student’s development may also be uneven. Students may behave appropriately in some situations but not in others, leading some unenlightened adults to believe “they can behave when they want to.”

The obstacles: ADHD children are usually not aware of how immature or off-base they may seem to peers and adults. They cannot adequately read other people’s responses to their behavior. Desperate for positive attention, they may try behavior that is outrageous, funny, or negative, mistakenly believing it will gain them friends and respect. They may be ostracized by their peers and singled out by teachers, which hurts their self-esteem.

Read Entire Article Here: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1971.html

Sue Scheff: Tips When Your Child Starts Dating

Source: OneToughJob

Your Child's Behavior at 12 -15 years old

As your child moves from childhood into the teenage years, she will encounter many social and cultural challenges. It is an exciting time and yet a scary time for your child. As she moves more toward independence, she will be convinced she knows everything, you know nothing and you were literally born yesterday. In fact, at this time, she needs you more than ever. By knowing what to expect at this stage of your child's life, you are better equipped to interact effectively with her. By communicating clearly with your child and listening to what she has to say and the emotions she is expressing, you can help your child through this stage.

Tips for Dating

1.Talk with your child about what she hopes for from dating and from relationships.
2.Let her know your concerns and hopes for her as she goes out on dates.
3.Know who your child is hanging out with and dating.
4.Talk with the parents of those kids.
5.Set clear rules about who can be with her in your home when there are no adults present.
6.Teach manners and how to be respectful of others.
7.Let your child know she can always call home if she is uncomfortable or feels worried.
8.Tell your child to have fun—dating should be fun.

Sue Scheff: Parents Everywhere!

I recently discovered a great website of podcasts to help educate parents on today’s kids - including teens, pre-teens and younger!

Take a peek at www.parentseverywhere.com - If you are a parent, I am sure there is topic that will interest you!

The Parents Everywhere Network is an incredible resource of experts who provide you with the parenting tools you need every week. Subscribe to our Podcasts for free and each show will be automatically downloaded to your computer where you can listen to each episode on your computer, or copy the files to your iPod or MP3 Player. You can also listen directly from our website, where ever you see the embedded player. The shows are free, convenient and only 20 minutes long. You can listen anytime, anywhere!

Sue Scheff: Teens and Steroids

Don’t Be An Asterisk. Whether it is a potential college scholarship or just helping the team win, some teens feel pressure to do whatever it takes to get an “edge”, even if it means taking steroids or other illegal substances.Hopefully the striking video and information available on the official website (link below) will educate teens and their families about performance enhancing drugs.

Check out the 30 second PSA video here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJ-DaJvBKuc

For more information on the campaign visit:http://www.dontbeanasterisk.com/

I just received this educational information for parents to be aware of - be sure to take a minute to visit this website and a minute to watch the video. Being an educated parents helps you to help your teen!

Love Our Children USA - Keeping Children Safe and Strengthening Families

Love Our Children USA™ is the national nonprofit leader in breaking the cycle of violence against children. The organization has become 'the Go-To' prevention organization for all forms of violence and neglect against children in the U.S.

Visit www.loveourchildrenusa.org

Daily Routines for Kids

Take the nagging out of parenting!

Find it hard to “Get out the door” on time in the morning? Want to end those bedtime battles? Want your kids to be more independent?

On·Task On·Time for Kids takes the nagging out of parenting. Designed by a mom
of triplets plus one, this unique time management system supplies 52 full-color task
stickers to organize three routines: Morning (getting ready for school), Afternoon
(transitioning from school to home activities), and Evening (getting ready for bed).
Individualized routines are put together by parents and children to fit their life style.

Daily routines are created by applying task stickers to a Routine Disk. The Routine
Disk is inserted onto the On·Task Timer Unit and the child sees what tasks should
be completed, what tasks should be done now, and what tasks are coming up next.

Parents don’t need to remind or nag. The words, “Oops, I forgot!” are a thing of
the past. Turn normally stressful, transition times into self-esteem building
experiences. A reward chart is included to acknowledge success and independence.
On·Task On·Time for Kids is designed for children between the ages of five and
twelve, and is available with girl or boy illustrations.


Visit http://www.timelymatters.com/ for more information. I recently was made aware of this informational website.