Breast Cancer Awareness and Your Teens

Pink Ribbons have become synonymous with Breast Cancer Awareness.  Starting in elementary school children soon learn to recognize what Pink Ribbons mean.  Many have had someone in their family diagnosed with breast cancer – some have even lost a loved one to this disease.  The good news the more awareness we have the more women are being proactive and getting exams earlier.  Teens especially are learning the importance of your female health.  Whether it is eating right or getting enough exercise, the information is out there to help you learn more about staying healthy.  As October is around the corner, it is also Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  Take this time to talk to your kids.

Source: Connect with Kids

Kids and Breast Cancer Awareness

“Exercise is good for many things, but I’m not sure many people are honestly aware that it can reduce the risk of breast cancer.”
– Ruth O’Regan, M.D., Oncologist

Raising breast cancer awareness is rarely controversial, but there’s a popular plastic wristband saying “I ‘heart’ boobies” that’s creating quite a stir in schools around the country. The bracelets, developed by the non-profit Keep-a-Breast Foundation, might be too racy for younger students. But that hasn’t stopped their concern about the risk of breast cancer – and what they can do at a young age.

Terri, 14, says, “I used to hate exercising, nobody could really get me to exercise. But now, it’s kind of cool.”

With the help of her mom, she’s losing weight. “One of the things I know about children is that they do what you do, and they say what you say. So my job was to do whatever it was going to take to get them healthy,” says her mom, Paulette.

Terri is getting healthy and she’s reducing her risk of getting breast cancer. Experts say risk factors for cancer include age, family history and weight.
“If you’re thin, you probably produce a little bit less estrogen,” says Dr. Ruth O’Regan, an oncologist. “Exposure to estrogen is probably a major determinate of whether you’re going to develop breast cancer over your lifetime.”

She says exercise early in girls’ lives can delay the onset of puberty, which can in turn lower hormone levels.
“One of the things we know about risk factors for breast cancer,” O’Regan says, “is that the earlier you start your periods, the more likely you are to get breast cancer.”

She says that exercise, along with a healthy diet low in fat and high in fiber, are the easiest ways to reduce weight – and your child’s risk of developing breast cancer.

“They’re obviously things that we can change,” says Dr. O’Regan, “so I think it’s important to actually encourage teenagers to have a healthy diet [and] take as much exercise as possible, because that’s something you can actually do to prevent, to reduce your risk of developing breast cancer.”

“It goes back to the same things doctors have been saying for years: diet and exercise, diet and exercise, diet and exercise,” Hogan says.

What We Need To Know

Why is exercise important? Research has shown the following:

• Over 60 percent of American adults are not regularly active.
• Twenty-five percent of adults are not active at all.
• Only 19 percent of high school students are active for 20 minutes or more per day.
• Men are more active than women.
• Physical activity declines with age.
• Ethnic minorities are less active.
• Higher education and income are associated with more leisure-time activity.
• Obese people are usually less active than non-obese persons.

The Surgeon General’s report on physical activity endorses a moderate amount of physical activity that can be obtained by doing any of the following:

• Thirty minutes of brisk walking
• Thirty minutes of lawn mowing
• Thirty minutes of leaf raking
• Fifteen minutes of running
• Forty-five minutes of volleyball

Not only does exercise keep bodies healthy and help to prevent diseases, it is also important because it can help keep minds sharp and healthy. Experts at KidsHealth have developed the following list of the benefits of exercising.

• Exercise Makes Your Heart Happy – Your heart is one hardworking part, pumping blood every day of your life. The heart is a muscle, and it’s the strongest muscle in your body, but it’s always looking to become even stronger! Since lifting weights won’t help it get stronger, it relies on you to do aerobic exercise. It’s a good idea for kids to do some kind of aerobic exercise two or three times a week, for 20 to 30 minutes at a time. Some excellent aerobic activities are swimming, basketball, ice or roller hockey, jogging (or walking quickly), rollerblading, soccer, cross-country skiing, biking and rowing. Even dancing, skipping, jumping rope and playing hopscotch are aerobic activities!
• Exercise Makes Muscles – All the muscles in your body do a fine job when you use them for easy stuff, like picking up a book or walking down the stairs. But what about using them for harder stuff, like taking long bike rides or climbing a tree? That’s where exercise comes in. It makes your muscles stronger and sometimes larger. As your muscles get stronger, you can do more active things for longer periods of time. And strong muscles also help protect you from injuries when you exercise, because they give better support to your joints. Building up all different types of muscles is easy to do. For arm strength, try push-ups, pull-ups, tug-of-war or twirling a baton. Rowing in a rowboat or canoeing is great for building strong arm muscles as well. For strong leg muscles, try running, blading, skating and bike riding. And for strong stomach muscles, try sit-ups, bike riding, or even twirling a hula hoop around your waist.
• Exercise Makes You Flexible – Can you touch your toes easily? Most kids are pretty flexible, which means that they can bend and stretch their bodies without too much trouble. But as people get older they tend to get less flexible, so that’s why it’s important to exercise when you’re a kid – so you can stay flexible. Plus, when you’re flexible, you can be more active without having to worry about getting sprains and strained muscles. It’s easy to find things to do for good flexibility. Tumbling and gymnastics are great ways to become more flexible. Yoga and dancing, especially ballet, also increase flexibility. Karate, tae kwon do and other martial arts are great for flexibility, too.
• Exercise Keeps You at a Healthy Weight – Every time you eat food, your body does the same thing: it uses some of the nutrients in the food as fuel. It burns these nutrients to give us energy or calories. You need calories for all of your body’s functions, whether it’s things you think about doing, like brushing your teeth, or things you never think about doing, like breathing. So it’s important for kids to get all the calories they need from the foods they eat. But if the body isn’t able to use all the calories that are coming from food, it stores them away as fat. And that’s why exercise helps keep a child at a weight that’s right for his/her height, by burning up extra calories. When you exercise, your body uses that extra fuel to keep you going strong.
• Exercise Makes You Feel Good – Exercising is a most excellent way to feel happy, whether you’re exercising on your own or with a group. If you’ve had a tough day at school, a fight with your friend or just feel kind of blue, exercising can help you feel better. That’s because when you exercise, your body can release endorphins, which are chemicals that create a happy feeling in your brain. Plus, when you’re breathing deeply during exercise and bringing more air into your lungs, your brain appreciates the extra oxygen. And when you’re active and running around, sometimes it’s hard to think about just what was bothering you. Exercise can make you feel better about yourself, too. When you are stronger and more capable of doing things, you can feel pretty proud – whether you scored the winning goal or hula-hooped for an hour straight!

Resources

• KidsHealth
• National Association for Sport and Physical Education
• American Heart Association
• American Cancer Society
• I “Heart” Boobies Bracelets Cause a Stir in High Schools

Sue Scheff: Teens that Procrastinate - Is it a big deal?

Who isn't guilty of procrastinating at one time or another?  As school is wrapping up, many High School Seniors are prepping for their upcoming college days.  There is a lot of preparation for both the parent and the teen.  How fast will it all get done? Is there anything wrong with a little bit of procrastination?

I'll Do It Tomorrow

Source: Connect with Kids

“I want the kids to experience the consequences, the painful consequences of being late in their projects, of getting poor grades. That stimulates the internal motivation that's required to defeat the procrastination.”

– John Lochridge, MD, child psychiatrist

Senioritis. It's that time of year. With high school graduation around the corner, for many high school seniors procrastination is at an all-time-high. But they are not alone. Studies show that up to 95 percent of students procrastinate on their school work. Why do today what you can put off till tomorrow?

13-year-old Leslie watches TV, talks on the phone, goes online... anything to avoid doing her schoolwork. "With, like, all the technology out there, it's so easy just to like completely not do your homework," she says.

Her dad says it's a constant source of frustration. "Just, what was it, last week, she was up till 12:30 finishing homework," he says.

Why do people procrastinate?

A study from the University of Calgary found one reason that may help parents better understand their kids: some procrastinators simply lack the confidence to complete the task.

Leslie, for example: "Like in math and science I'm awful," she says, "and whenever I have a project due I always wait till the last minute."

Experts say that, whatever the reason, there is one important way parents can help: let your child handle it.

"In my opinion, the chief problem I see is parents taking too much responsibility," explains Dr. John Lochridge, a child psychiatrist. "So I tend to go backwards from helping the kids. In other words, I want the kids to experience the consequences, the painful consequences of being late in their projects, of getting poor grades. That stimulates the internal motivation that's required to defeat the procrastination."

And if your child lacks the confidence to get the work done tell them, "It doesn't have to be an A-plus paper," says Lochridge. "Let's get working on it, let's break it up into smaller pieces and get satisfaction from developing the smaller pieces into a larger piece that is a good product. And then that confidence builds from having the success."

What Parents Need To Know

"Everybody procrastinates, but not everybody is a procrastinator," says Dr. Joseph Ferrari, Professor of Psychology at DePaul University. The good news is that when it comes to children, procrastination is only worthy of attention from a therapist or psychologist when it permeates every aspect of their lives—"when they're doing this at home, at school, with their friends," Ferrari says.

Parents can help their children by presenting tasks in concrete terms (for instance, picking up the balls versus cleaning the playroom). More importantly, though, parents can help by recognizing that parenting style is significant. Ferrari, who has been researching procrastination for more than 20 years, says there is no gene for procrastination; it is learned. He suggests that parents reward their children for being early rather than punish them for being late.

Linda Sapadin, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and author of Beat Procrastination and Make the Grade, describes two types of procrastinators: perfectionists and dreamers. Perfectionists are very detail-oriented, and seldom satisfied with their work. As a result they have great difficulty completing assignments. They need help to understand the difference between "perfect" and "excellent" or "very good." They also need help setting time limits. Dreamers tend to be laid back, mellow kids who'd rather "hang out" than "get going." They tend not to think about the details and deadlines associated with schoolwork. Dreamers aren't great at timing. Parents can help them estimate how long it will take to complete a project, then have them check their own estimates against what actually happens.

In the middle school years, start letting go of control and allow your children to handle their own time management. They will probably take a little nose-dive as far as grades go, but they should be able recover fairly quickly. Remember, nagging will not help. Many teens are stubborn and instead of doing what they're told, will rebel and procrastinate even more.

For younger children, set a firm bedtime, regardless of what work they have to complete. This will not only help them schedule their time better in the future, but also allow them a good night's rest. If they are up all night studying for a test, their brains may not be functioning at 100 percent the next day and, in turn, they'll perform poorly on the exam.

Resources

■Why Kids Procrastinate on Education.com
■Beat Procrastination and Make the Grade

Sue Scheff: Think Before You Speak

How many times have you said something you wish you could take back? How many times have your children repeated things you wish you never said? As many parents know, what goes in their little ears can come out of their mouth - when you least expect it or want to hear it!

How about when your teens repeat personal matters in your family? If you are sharing private information with your teenagers, you may want to be clear it is personal and especially not to share it online or in text.

What about when kids don't understand certain slang words and use them unknowingly in conversations that end up hurting others?

A very sensitive and difficult subject is sexuality. Today we are better educated and in tune with different ways of life for people and their own sexuality. What happens when a teen believes they are gay or a lesbian? Life can become extremely difficult for them.

Parents play a crucial role in teaching their children about the negative impact of bullying and harassment. Talk about these issues with your children and within your community. Learn about the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN). No matter what your religious beliefs are, no one should condone bullying. We should not judge others, as we don't want them to judge us.

GLSEN Mission: The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network strives to assure that each member of every school community is valued and respected regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression.

Some parents may not be comfortable with this subject, however it is a topic that needs to be addressed. Ignoring it can lead to devastating results. Whether it is a child hurting or taking their own life (watch video below of grieving mother, Sirdeaner Walker), you need to be an educated parent. Teach respect for all people, all races and all walks of life.

Studies indicate that students who regularly experience verbal and non-verbal forms of harassment suffer from emotional turmoil, low self-esteem, loneliness, depression, poor academic achievement and high rates of absenteeism. Research also shows that many of the bystanders to acts of harassment experience feelings of helplessness and powerlessness, and develop poor coping and problem-solving skills. Clearly, homophobic and all types of harassment-and the toxic effects they produce-are whole school problems that all educators must confront. - ThinkB4YouSpeak.com

Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens. Teach your kids to "think" before they speak. As adults, we also need to think before we speak at times too. We need to be an example to our children.

Watch video and read more on Examiner.

Sue Scheff: Teens Smoking Cigarettes on the Decrease

Are we finally seeing peer pressure in a positive direction? A new government survey finds that more kids are smoking marijuana, abusing prescription drugs and using smokeless tobacco than a decade ago. But there is one area of abuse that is going down dramatically- cigarettes. (Connect with Kids)

There can be many factors for this, and it would be nice to know if kids are just telling kids that smoking is not cool. Other reasons could be the accessibility has become more difficult. Either way, it is a good news that smoking cigarettes among kids are decreasing.

Research shows that a vast majority of smokers began when they were children or teenagers. While recent legislation has helped reduce smoking, it still remains an important health concern. Consider the following statistics from the U.S. Surgeon General:

• Approximately 80 percent of adult smokers started smoking before the age of 18.
• More than 5 million children living today will die prematurely because of a decision they make as adolescents - the decision to smoke cigarettes.
• Nearly all first uses of tobacco occur before high school graduation.
• Most young people who smoke are addicted to nicotine and report that they want to quit but are unable to do so.
• Tobacco is often the first drug used by young people who use alcohol and illegal drugs.
• Among young people, those with poorer grades and lower self-image are most likely to begin using tobacco.
• Young people who come from low-income families and have fewer than two adults living in their household are especially at risk for becoming smokers.

If your teen is smoking, encourage them to join an anti-smoking group. If you are a smoker, you should consider quitting with your teen. Teens want boundaries, even if their actions speak otherwise, our children need boundaries. Talking about why smoking is bad for them, as well as the serious health issues that come with tobacco, it is important that you don't stop reminding them of this. Even if you think they aren't listening, they are.

Reference: Fewer Kids Smoking, Connect with Kids

Florida Quitline - Be proactive in helping your teen quit smoking.

Be an educated parent, you will have healthier teens. Also on Examiner.

Sue Scheff: Back to School - School Uniforms

What a great subject for this time of the year! Personally, as a parent, when my kids were in school, I applauded uniforms. The kids don't always agree with this.

Source: Connect with Kids

“Uniforms — they’re just so plain … and eeewww ... I don’t like them,”

– Chelsea, 12

Every year, as tens of millions of students head back to school, there is a question that routinely gets asked this time of year: should public schools require uniforms? The research shows what a child wears can have an impact on learning and behavior.

“This is the plaid skirt. It’s really cute,” says 10-year-old Paige, as she displays her new school uniforms.

Paige is trying to stay positive, but the truth is she and her older sister Chelsea don’t like the thought of having to wear uniforms.

“I think it’s kind of a bad idea because you want to be your own self,” says Paige.

According to Chelsea, 12, “It doesn’t give you your chance to shine as a person. And uniforms — they’re just so plain … and eeewww ... I don’t like them,” she exclaims.

This year, the girls are switching to a new school that requires uniforms — much to their parent’s delight.

“I think that uniforms remove a great, great barrier from one child to the next,” says Charles Addison, Paige and Chelsea’s father. “They just have to deal with their schoolwork and concentrate on math, science, history and not those other distractions.”

Researchers at Youngstown University found that wearing uniforms can lead to better attendance and graduation rates as well as lower suspension rates.

“It reduces conflict and branding among student groups — cliquishness. [Uniforms also reduce the] potential for bullying for not wearing the right clothes,” explains psychologist Dr. Jennifer Thorpe. “Uniforms keep kids on task, doing their work, engaged in the curriculum.”

But this research isn’t conclusive. Previous studies have shown that uniforms don’t improve student performance or behavior. And critics argue uniforms suppress a student’s individuality.

“As kids move into middle school and high school, they begin to use clothes to define themselves as a form of self-expression that can carry a lot of weight in terms of how they are perceived by their peers,” Dr. Thorpe explains.

She says if your children are required to wear uniforms, you can do what Chelsea and Paige’s parents do: remind them there are lots of other ways to express yourself.

“Do it with your mind, your mouth, your smile. Be happy,” says Clarence Addison. “You can show all of the things that you wanted to show through clothes, just show it through your personality.”

Tips for Parents

In September 1987, the students of Cherry Hill Elementary School, an inner-city public school in Baltimore, Md., began voluntarily wearing uniforms to school. Cherry Hill is attributed as the first public school to adopt a uniform policy. Donning the uniforms was part of a community, grass roots effort to curb clothing costs and social pressures. After a decade had passed, principal Geraldine Smallwood believed students were doing better in the classroom because by dressing in the uniforms, “they know that they are coming to work.”

A study by the National Association of Elementary School Principals found that principals reported dress codes as having positive effects on:

■The school’s image within the community.
■Classroom discipline.
■Peer pressure.
■School spirit.
■Concentration on schoolwork.
■Student safety.
Further findings from the U.S. Department of Education show uniforms:

■Decrease violence and theft among students over designer clothing and expensive sneakers.
■Prevent gang members from wearing gang colors and insignias to school.
■Instill students with discipline.
■Help parents and students resist peer pressure.
■Help school officials recognize intruders on the campus.
Unless there are clear disciplinary or safety problems in the schools (which may or may not be the situation in your district), the federal government advises that uniform-style dress codes be optional or include an opt-out clause. In some districts, students whose parents "opt out" attend another school that does not have a uniform policy. If your district has only one middle and one high school, these students would have to attend other schools at district expense, or be given homebound instruction. Furthermore, districts must make uniforms available to low-income families at reasonable – or no cost. Given these guidelines, there are certain elements parents should expect if their child’s school is implementing a uniform policy.

The U.S. Department of Education gives these guidelines to adopt a school uniform policy:

■Involve parents from the beginning.
■Protect students’ religious expression, e.g. allow heads, arms and legs to be covered.
■Protect students’ other rights of expression, e.g. political viewpoints displayed on items meeting uniform criteria.
■Determine whether the policy is mandatory or voluntary. Mandatory policies without an opt-out provision are vulnerable to legal challenge.
■Do not require students to wear a message on the uniform.
■Assist families that need financial help.
■Treat uniforms as part of an overall safety program.

References
■National Association of Elementary School Principals
■Pauline Harding's School Uniforms and Dress Codes Page
■U.S. Department of Education

Sue Scheff: Teens and the Pressure to Have Sex

Teenage Sexuality and the Pressures to Have Sex

We began this site with the intention of providing useful information and advising on all issues regarding teen pregnancy. We thought it might also be helpful to parents to understand some of the reasons teenage girls are choosing to have sex at younger and younger ages. The idea of sexuality has become embedded in almost every part of our society.

The media is crawling with sexual innuendo and suggestive imagery; music and magazines put forth all kinds of evocative material while movies and TV shows often feature situations in which teenagers are experimenting with increasingly scandalous sexual behavior. It's no wonder that young women often feel pressured to conform to societal standards of acceptable sexual conduct and do so by allowing sex to occur earlier than it otherwise might have. Right now nearly half of teens in the US ages from 15-19 have had sex at least one time. So, if fifty percent of AmericaÕs teenagers are participating in sexual intercourse, itÕs not difficult to imagine the amount of pregnancies that are occurring as a result.

The studies done on teenage pregnancies show staggering results. If you are the parent of a teen or pre-adolescent, it is wise to educate yourself on the current trends regarding pregnancy and sexual activity in order to be informed about what pressures your child might be exposed to. A survey done by [The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy(http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/ )], an organization dedicated to reducing the number of unwanted teen pregnancies, reveals that 46.8 percent of all high school students in America had have sexual intercourse at least once. The National Campaign has also reported that close to half of all pregnancies yearly in the United States are unplanned, and that the rate of unwanted or unplanned pregnancies is highest among teens.

When thinking about the causes and consequences of teen sexuality and pregnancy, a parent should consider some additional factors that play into the topic. There are some further outlying trends in terms of teenage sexual behavior that affect a teenÕs decision to participate in sexual activity. How much does the idea of peer pressure actually influence teen sex? Where are teens experiencing their first sexual encounter? What are the tendencies among age groups- that is, are teens in relationships with older partners more likely to engage in sexual behavior than those who are closer in age to their partner? Another issue to bear in mind is that of drugs and alcohol, and how often substances play a part in the choice to have sex. Being prepared in these areas prior to a discussion can help a parent remain open-minded instead of intimidating or harsh.

Pressure to Have Sex
Perhaps because of the media's representation of sex, or the desire to portray a "cool" image to friends and schoolmates, it's no doubt that teenagers today feel the pressure of having sex. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy reports that at least ten percent of teenage girls Òdescribe their first sexual experience as [unwanted (http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/resources/pdf/SS/SS3_YoungAdols.pdf )] Although this may not mean the encounter was completely unwarranted, it means that there was still a level of hesitation and uncertainty on the part of the female. In addition, more younger sexually active teens report wishing they had waited longer to have sex than do older sexually active teens. The fact is, many teenagers submit to the idea of sex merely to assuage the pressure that accompanies not having it.

Birth Control
One of the most detrimental factors to teens is a lack of the use and knowledge of birth control methods available to them. A common thought is that a girl cannot get pregnant the first time she has sex, and she therefore may decide to forego using any type of birth control whatsoever. However, more and more, teenagers are finding out about different contraceptive options and utilizing them. Around two-thirds of teenagers say that they used some type of contraceptive during their very first experience with sexual intercourse.

Differences in Age
One interesting fact is that among teenagers around the age of 14, almost half in relationships report dating someone at least two years older. Teens are often romantically drawn to older people, yet the gaps in age have shown sexual intercourse to happen earlier and more frequently than in relationships where the partners are closer in age. The rate at which teenagers who are two or more years apart have sex almost doubles compared with the rate for those who are the same age. In addition, if the age difference is three or more years, the rate goes up another ten percent.

Substance Abuse as a Factor
For many parents the idea of their teen having sex is enough of a disturbing reality that adding the notion that alcohol or drugs could play a part in the act is too much to take. But turning a blind eye to the possibility could be very hazardous to your relationship with your child and also to his or her safety. Knowing the truth about teens and the affect substances have on judgment can enhance a parentÕs understanding of why teens often choose to have sex earlier than they might be ready to. Not only do drugs and alcohol have the ability to influence teensÕ decisions in a potentially sexual situation, but studies have also shown that teenagers who are sexually active are more likely on the whole to abuse drugs and alcohol. A survey done by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy showed that almost half of sexually active teens used marijuana in the past, while only ten percent of non-sexually active had tried it.

We believe that no matter what a family's views on sex and pregnancy may be, communication between family members early and often about the subject is key to not only a teen's safety but also to a functional relationship between teenagers and their parents. One of the core hindrances in communication is the divergence of opinions about sex and what sex means. As a parent, you probably believe you know what is best for your child, and do not see other options as viable.

For parents, it is easy to overlook the fact that teens truly believe they know themselves and how the world works, and act accordingly. Sometimes the difference in age between a parent and child creates discrepancies in judgment, and both parties involved think their ideas are the most sensible. But whether the barriers are based on generational differences or contrasting personalities, there are still ways a parent can assert guidance without coming across as authoritative or imposing.

Adolescent sexual behavior cannot always be prevented, but if you are a parent, there are avenues you can take to educate your teen so that they will be informed to make the best decision for themselves when the time comes. This site aims to promote positive communication between parents and teens, and also will help educated parents so that they may be as informed as possible on the subject.

Learn more.

Sue Scheff: Parenting Teens: Tattoos may teach young ones a lesson they don’t want

I understand that some people say that this is some type of way of kids wanting to have their own identity, personally, I would not want my teen to get a tattoo. I am not judging those that have tattoos, however I don't feel many teens know the long term effects and how it appears in that job interview. O-kay, maybe I am old fashion, but it is just my opinion.

By SHARMA HOWARD
Norwich Bulletin

There’s one thing I know for sure I don’t want to see on my sons: tattoos.

Perhaps I’m squeamish, as I always associate tattoos with the scary image on the Ray Bradbury cover of “The Illustrated Man,” hunched over in a ball in an isolated landscape.

When I was growing up, tattoos were for the fringe of society — and the two adults I knew that had them always kept them covered up in embarrassment.

Now, tattoos adorn movie stars such as Angelina Jolie, who makes for an odd sight in an evening gown and lines of Oriental writing marching up her neck. It’s jolting, to be sure.

From star athletes to movie and TV characters, tattoos are now a part of what is acceptable — even the norm.

Now, 36 percent of 18-25 year-olds have tattoos, inching towards the 50/50 mark that would make having a tattoo almost blase.

Risk for infection

And while most states have laws regulating tattoos for minors, it seems they have no problem getting inked — some going to more shady parlors that will ignore consent laws, and putting themselves at greater risk for infection.

I watched in horror when the young teen from Belgium claimed in the news the 56 black stars that now blanket her face like a constellation were the result of a tattoo artist gone wild as she slept. The story had many people skeptical, but one look at the tattoo artist, who had his own face covered in tattoos and had stretched his skin with heavy piercings stirred sympathy for the 18-year old.

In reality, it was the teen lying to deflect the anger from her father, who will likely be stuck with the expensive cost of removing the tattoos.

As tattoos become more mainstream, the risqué little rose blooming on an ankle is passé these days. More people are getting them on their neck, and on their face.

It’s one thing to dye your hair chartreuse, but tattoos aren’t easily removed, even with more advanced laser techniques.

Tattoos, which seem like such a drastic step — and one with potentially harmful health consequences — could be revisited for a stricter age limit, as drinking was when it was set at 21.

I say this not because I want to be a killjoy, but because of concern that the reason some teens might be attracted to tattoos has to do with image, and rebellion, all of which is mutable at the age of 18, or even 19 years of age.

At 21, people are young adults who are entering the workplace, and less likely to be swayed by wanting to be part of a group identity, but are rather guided by the person they have become.

If that person is one who will enjoy a tattoo forever, either as artwork or as a statement about their individuality, then there is less likely to be regret.

I cannot imagine the Belgian teen wanting her face to be adorned with heavy black stars forever. And the cost — and pain — of getting them removed likely will teach her a life lesson she could have done without.

Sue Scheff: GenTech: Are they any different then the Babyboomers?

Source: Examiner.com

By: Richard Hills

When I was a teenager, a junior or senior in high school, I took a typing class so that I might have a bit of an edge in the business world after graduation. Back in the 20th century, we learned such things on typewriters. For those youngsters that read this, if you look up typewriter at Dictionary.com you will find: “A writing machine that produces characters similar to typeset print by means of a manually operated keyboard that actuates a set of raised types, which strike the paper through an inked ribbon.” It actually was fairly efficient – you created your printed copy instantly, but correcting mistakes was a chore, and getting multiple copies was generally pretty messy (another word to look up; Carbon paper).

I was in Subway the other day ordering lunch when I heard the familiar Beep Beep of a cell phone. The young lady (about 16 years old) in front of me looked at her cell phone she had apparently received a text message. When she started to reply to the text received I was stunned. She could “type” as quick, or quicker, than I can, but with only her two thumbs! I wasn't too surprised when I later heard news reports about how there are now braces that have been developed because of this repetitive type of motion.

Do they teach text messaging in school these days? No, of course not; most schools don’t even allow cell phones to be used on campus (not yet anyway). We are entering an age where our children are more tech savvy then their parents. Of course this is not unusual when we consider Moore’s Law. Gordon Moore founded Intel in 1968, but it was in 1965, Moore observed that micro-chip development was doubling itself on an annual basis. What was then dubbed Moore’s law has proven itself correct time after time as we can barely keep up with the development of our technology. It’s no wonder our teens are more savvy then their older generations.

PCMag.com had an interesting survey where the results were in every area of popular electronic devices, with the exception of cell phones, our teens possessed the market share of them. Not only that our 13 year olds are even more savvy then their 16 year old siblings!

What does all this mean? Well, we really don’t know what it means in the long run. Projections have been made that by 2019, the PC will be unseen. It will be embedded in our furniture, and even in our bodies. The keyboard will be gone, with a voice interface in its place. It is our GenTech generation that will bring this about.

CBS news.com has a very interesting article on this subject. But the answers (even in that article) are not there. Moore’s law of smaller and better every year is making it more and more difficult for ethics to keep up. Our kids rush home from school, all the while texting their friends in the car only to rush to the computer once home and log onto MySpace or some Instant Messaging program to communicate with friends even more. But is it only friends they communicate with. No, it is well known the pitfalls of the cyber-bullying and cyber-stalking. CBS news.com reports; “There's no question that the Web can be dangerous. The Justice Department boosted funding for its 7-year-old Internet Crimes Against Children (ICAC) program from $2.4 million in 1998 to $14.5 million this year. ICAC-related arrests tripled from 564 in 2003 to 1,597 in 2005”.

Teenage development is the stage where our kids are seeking independence from their ‘parental units’ (as they call us). The internet and cyber space is a place where they feel they can achieve this. Technology as been doing this from the beginning. The invention of television kept kids inside "glued to the tube", and when Hi-Fi’s came out in the 50’s, teenagers were booming music everywhere to their parents chagrin. The issues seem to be the same, it’s just that the technology is different, and granted more powerful.

Do we limit our teens use of technology? I don’t think so. To do so, may very well be putting them at a distinct future disadvantage. We as parents (as always) simply need to be aware, not only of the dangers of this ‘brave new world’, but also how it impacts our children emotionally. Watch for signs of depression perhaps motivated from isolation or cyber bullying. Instruct your child vigilantly about sharing too much information, because while the internet may seem anonymous, it clearly is not.
Then, “hpy txtn lol”

Sue Scheff: Parenting Toolbox

This past weekend I was introduced (via online) to an Author and Therapist that specializes in parenting and families. As a Parent Advocate, I have to share this fantastic information with others, so please take the time to learn more. His website provides great parenting advice, tips on raising our children, as well as articles that are educational and informative.

Ron Huxley is the founder of the ParentingToolbox and has helped parents online for over a decade and offline for almost two decades.

Ron is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist currently practicing on the Central California Coast. He specializes in trauma, attachment and nontraditional families (like divorced, step, and adoptive families). He is the author of the book “Love and Limits: Achieving a Balance in Parenting” and has been in the field of parenting and mental health for 2 decades.

Ron believes in taking a strength-based approach to parenting that builds on solutions and not problems. He believes that the “person is not the problem, the problem is the problem” and he creatively crafts a parenting strategy that fits each family situation. He is a Certified Family Wellness Instructor, Incredible Years Parenting Instructor and he has advanced training in Play Therapy and Trauma Interventions.

Ron has spoken to parents on the importance of having a Balanced Parenting Styles and Secure Attachment in every conceivable setting, from a Women’s Prison to Parent/Teacher Conferences to Corporate Board Rooms. He has written articles for Disney Family, Child Magazine, Readers Digest, Pregnancy Magazine, the Recovery Journal, Self-Help Online and Woman’s World. He has appeared on numerous television and radio shows including BBC Radio, LA Talk Radio, the Leeza Gibbons Show, Parents Tool Talk Radio and Oprah.com. Currently, he is directing a children’s mental health clinic in California that specializes in attachment and trauma issues for foster care and adoptive families.

Read Ron Huxley’s articles here: http://parentingtoolbox.wordpress.com/
One of his articles is How to Stop Anger

Take a moment to read more – http://parentingtoolbox.wordpress.com/stop-anger/

Sue Scheff: Riding in Trunks a Risky Trend Among Teens

Source: Connect with Kids

TRUNKING, Illegal, Illogical, Dangerous

“As a parent, I think the consequences [for trunking] should be very severe. If that child is already driving, revoking driving privileges for a period of time would certainly be appropriate.”

– Bob Wilson, Chapter Director, National Safety Council

A startling new trend has emerged among teenagers. Just to get around the new graduated license laws - that ban new drivers from having other kids in the car - some teens are now riding in the trunk.

Every state is a little different, but the rules for teen driving across the country are getting stricter.

16-year-old Karla Greene explains: “Once you get your license you can only have family members in the car.”

“And then,” says 18-year-old Matt Simon, “you can’t drive past midnight until you turn 18.”

But, says Bob Wilson of the National Safety Council, “we’re trying to keep our teens safe - and it’s proven that by restricting other teenage passengers it reduces risk to them.”

But many teens, inconvenienced by the new rules, have found a way to get around them.

It’s called “trunking.”

“I’ve ridden in the trunk a few times,” says 20-year-old David Mack, “We had too many people in the car and I was the smallest one, so it all came down to me.”

But many kids fail to realize that trunking is not only illegal- it’s incredibly dangerous.

Best friends Chris Snyder and Scott Atchison were riding in the trunk of a car when they hit a tree. “The trunk lid popped open in the crash, ejected them onto the highway and they were run over,” says Wilson.

Sadly, both teens died.

Experts say parents need to make the driving laws explicit.

“It’s the parents responsibility for getting their teenager through the teenage years safely,” explains Wilson. “Certainly the trunking issue comes into play- cell phone use, alcohol, drug use, seatbelt use- all of those are parent responsibilities to make sure their teen is compliant.”

Karla Greene is getting her license in just a few days. She plans on abiding by the laws and advises other teens to do the same. “Just deal with the time, just wait, learn to drive, you know, make sure you know what you’re doing before you start having other people in the car. And just follow the laws.”

Tips for Parents

If you find that your child has been “trunking,” make the consequences severe. Suspend all driving privileges for a period of time. (Bob Wilson, National Safety Council)

Maintain a zero-tolerance policy with your teen regarding alcohol - on and off the road. (National Safety Council)

If your state does not have teen driving restrictions, set your own. Make sure your teen is able to drive safely before they drive at night or with friends in the car. (Allstate Insurance)
Any unbelted passenger is at extreme risk in an accident- whether they are in the cabin or in the trunk. Insist that your child always wears a seatbelt. (Bob Wilson, National Safety Council)

References
American Automobile Association
Insurance Institute for Highway Safety
National Highway Traffic Safety Administration
National Transportation Safety Board

Sue Scheff: Do Your Know Your Teens Friends?

Source: TangerineTimes

One of the more nerve-racking part of raising teenagers is their friends. That’s because friends are profoundly influential to our kids. And, sometimes they look and act funny and as a parent you just don’t know what to think. No longer are WE the main source of information and influence (although I’d like to think the influence we wield is stronger - forgive me if I’m delusional)

Giving this some thought, I decided to research the subject and I put my comments in italics next to the “experts”. Here are the changes from tween to teen (when it comes to friendships):

They spend more time with their peers/in person and online (that would include 1000’s of texts that burn up a cell phone)

They are more mobile than when younger so more time is spent with peers without parental supervision (God help me when ALL the friends have a driver’s license, I may just have to be committed)

Increased contact with opposite-sex peers (It’s good you say? Yes, you’re right for girls, not so much for boys - see below. Heck, we don’t have much control over this any way)

In the early teen years, small groups of friends or cliques are formed which can help or hurt depending on your child’s association. ( I read this and all I could think of was the “Mean Girls” )

Another feature of the teen years is the emergence of crowds. Teens use crowds to figure out who to associate with. Crowds help teens sort peers into groups of people they would like to spend time with and those they wouldn’t. Through crowds and cliques, teens show other people who they are. (OK, this one doesn’t exactly make sense - what about the huge number of grown men who attend stadium- sporting events?)

Read entire article here: http://tangerinetimes.com/2009/05/do-you-know-your-teens-friends/#more-1065

Sue Scheff: Secrets to Surviving and Thriving in Your Teens

THE SECRETS TO SURVIVING AND THRIVING IN YOUR TEENS, by Lori Hanson

Award-Winning Author of “It Started with Pop-Tarts (R)”, Lori Hanson, wrote an amazing very quick and easy read parent and teen book. What I loved about this book is it was written in a fashion that addresses some serious issues that teens face today, however in a condensed and easy to understand format.

I literally finished it in less than 2 hours (with many interruptions) and was very impressed how Lori both talked to teens and parents - almost at the same time - and you could feel that Lori is connecting.

I recommend any parents of teens today purchase this book and share it with their teen. What a great way to start communications - since today many parents have lost that connection with many teens.

Oh, did I mention Lori incorporates her dogs (Sasha and Yagger) as analogies - absolutely fantastic - we all love dogs and to see them and their actions helping us as parents to understand human behavior was brilliant and again, something we can all relate to.

You can purchase this book here. Don’ miss it! Get it before it hits the book stores!

Sue Scheff: Parent Alert: Teens and Porn

By Judith Newman
From Readers Digest
Photo-Illustration By Kevin Irby

My seven-year-old, Henry, can’t spell. Yet there’s one word he can spell perfectly. That word is boob. I discovered this last week when I gave him my iPhone to noodle around with. He told me he was playing on Disney’s Club Penguin, but when I turned on the phone later, the page that popped up was a porn site. When I confronted him, he looked at me very seriously and said, “Well, Mom, I’m extremely interested in the human body.”

This makes me laugh because he is seven. What’s not at all funny is what this incident says about the future. If the ability to spell one palindrome at his age can get him to one of the most explicit sites imaginable, how blasé will he be about porn by the time he’s a teenager? And how much of a leap is it to imagine my son getting into the latest teenage craze, so-called sexting—nude photos taken by teens and posted or sent to others over the Internet or cell phone? How long before he turns to me—as a friend’s 15-year-old did to her mother recently—and says, “Mom, it’s no big deal”?

Sexting is, in fact, a very big deal. Not because sexual curiosity and boundary pushing aren’t normal parts of growing up; they are. The thing is, on the Internet, nothing ever truly vanishes. Of course, it’s perfectly possible that a teen’s knuckleheaded homemade Girls Gone Wild moment sent to her boyfriend stays on his computer or cell phone forever, as precious to him as any 19th-century billet-doux. Then again, it is possible those photos will be sent to everyone she knows (and doesn’t know), will turn up as her first Google hit when she’s looking for a job, or, just maybe, will land her in jail.

Just a Click AwayKids as young as 11 and 12 have been discovered taking compromising photos of themselves and sending those shimmering pixels over their phones and computers. More than a few incidents have made the nightly news. In February, for example, a 15-year-old girl from central Pennsylvania faced charges for possessing, distributing, and creating child pornography after she sent topless photos of herself to a man on MySpace; the man, 27, was also charged. Last year, an 18-year-old Orlando, Florida, teen began serving five years’ probation and had to register as a sex offender after forwarding naked photos of his then-16-year-old ex-girlfriend to her friends, teachers, and relatives. And six middle school boys in Massachusetts were questioned by police after they passed around a picture of a half-naked 13-year-old classmate on their cells.

Surely this is just one of those salacious, overblown “trend” stories, right? There can’t be that many teenagers sending and receiving inappropriate photos of themselves.

Think again.

Last fall, the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy teamed with CosmoGirl.com to canvass 1,280 teenagers and young adults about their electronic activities. According to their survey, one in five girls (11 percent between 13 and 16) and 18 percent of teen boys have sent or posted nude or seminude pictures or videos of themselves. About 15 percent of senders forwarded photos to people they hadn’t actually met but knew only online. E-mails containing sexual come-ons are even more prevalent: About 39 percent have tapped out lurid e-mails and text messages.

Social networking sites such as Facebook and MySpace are lousy with pages that boast names like “I’ve Sent Naked Pictures of Myself Over the Phone” and “Practicing Safe Sexting.” (Sample rules: “Don’t get your phone taken away during school” and “Don’t get caught.”)

The age of the kids involved sometimes upsets the kids themselves. Monica D. (her name, and those of other minors in this story, have been changed) went to a Connecticut middle school where one giggling girl took a picture of her friend, 12, vamping naked while changing for dance class. They sent it to a friend as a joke, and the friend sent it to the entire school. A parent saw the image on her son’s computer and called the principal. The girl who sent the photo was suspended, and she eventually changed schools.

“But this is what shocked me,” says Monica. “Two months later, the girl who posed was at orchestra rehearsal, and she raised her hand and said, ‘I just lost a tooth.’ She was young enough to still have her baby teeth!”

Living Libido LocaThere is a me-me-ME quality to blogging, Facebooking, Twittering, and the like. And what could be more attention-grabbing to a teenager than taking your clothes off?

“It’s pretty appalling,” says Pamela Paul, the author of Pornified: How Pornography Is Transforming Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families. “Among girls and boys, porn has become increasingly accepted, even kind of cool.”

And with “the American Idol-ization of the culture, where everyone can be a star,” she says, it’s almost inevitable that kids would be tempted to cross the line into interactive porn. “Every form of media has become interactive. Why shouldn’t porn be as well?” she laments.

The biggest technological facilitator of teen porn is the webcam. Making a video and then e-mailing it or uploading it to Facebook is as easy as pressing a button. That’s how one New York mother’s 15-year-old daughter got into trouble.

“Cheryl was upstairs in her bedroom with her laptop,” the mother begins. “A friend was sleeping over. I’d seen her do video chats plenty of times, and apart from language I disapprove of, I hadn’t thought of it as a big risk. So mostly I was alert to her staying up too late chatting with her friends.

“We’d gone to bed when I heard a thump from upstairs like someone jumping out of bed,” the mother continues. “I go up, and she immediately flips the laptop lid down. The girls—in bed, wearing jammies and cami tops—look guilty. I repossess the laptop and go downstairs. There’s a picture of the ‘I’ll show you mine if you’ll show me yours’ variety, only this is creepier because it’s of the two girls and they’d sent it to some teenage boy. There was even a script right out of a porn movie. Plus, she had screen shots of some naked boy on her desktop.”

The computer was confiscated, but by that point, it was too late. Those photos could turn up anywhere.

Why would kids take this kind of risk? “Teenagers are not exactly known for their great judgment,” notes Lawrence Balter, a professor of applied psychology at New York University. “They are sexual beings, of course, and they want to push the envelope. They’re playacting. And they’re impulsive. Generally, there’s not a lot of thought before hitting the send button.”
But there’s another aspect to sexting that many parents haven’t considered.

“Because it’s not exactly face-to-face—it’s visual, but the other person isn’t right there—a kid can be more revealing,” Balter continues. “It’s the distance that makes a kid feel both bolder and safer.”

Perception = RealityAnd now for some good news: Not every kid is a budding Jenna Jameson. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, promiscuous behavior is down. In 1991, 54.1 percent of 9th- through 12th-grade students said they’d had sexual intercourse. In 2007, that number was 47.8.

Could it be that sexting and Internet porn are substitutes for sexual acting-out in real life? Ralph DiClemente, a professor at the Rollins School of Public Health at Emory University, is trying to find out. He’s studying how exposure to sex on the Internet affects teens.

The results aren’t in yet, but DiClemente thinks he has relevant information from another study he conducted, on African American teenage girls and their exposure to rap music videos. Many of the videos are violent and misogynistic, he points out. “We wanted to know how this music affected the girls’ perceptions of themselves and women in their community.” He discovered that the girls who watched the most rap videos were more likely to binge drink, smoke pot, and have multiple sex partners. Distressing, too, was the teenagers’ belief that the scantily clad models and dancers in the videos were a lot like women in their community. “So their perception of what was real and what wasn’t was skewed,” says DiClemente.

Extrapolating from those results, DiClemente thinks that

1) kids are likely to believe more of what they see in the media than adults are,

2) they perceive people in porn to look and act just like you and me,

3) many kids see nothing abnormal about creating and/or starring in porn, and

4) their perceptions lead to behavior that is less than desirable.

Jay W., a freshman at Brown University, sees the same nonchalant attitudes toward sexting that DiClemente found in his study. “The first experience I had with sexting was a video my friend sent me when I was in ninth grade. It was of a naked girl, really young,” he says. And though he insists he didn’t do it himself, passing around nude photos of girlfriends was fairly common in Jay’s California school. “What I’ve seen has changed the way I think about sex,” he says. “Even at a younger age, I began to feel jaded and numbed out.”

Although Jay may have become inured to it all, some of the girls who posed found their new fame downright alluring. Notes Monica, the middle school student from Connecticut, “The girl who had her picture sent around the school was at the low end of the popular set. But once she took off her clothes, it upped her visibility. She got a lot more attention, from boys especially.” Just as there is no longer such a thing as bad publicity, apparently there is no such thing as bad attention in junior high school.

What Do We Do Now?“We live in a precarious society for young people,” says Michael Josephson, president of Character Counts, an organization that runs values-education programs.

“There are many ways they can damage themselves, the Internet being the most dangerous of all. Parents have a responsibility to know what children are doing on it.”

Fair enough. So how do we prevent our kids from becoming citizens, wittingly or unwittingly, of the vast pornopolis of American culture?

The most important thing, says Marisa Nightingale, senior adviser to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, is to be proactive, not reactive. In other words, don’t wait until your daughter’s breasts are plastered across her boyfriend’s MySpace page. “You have to raise the issue, even if it’s uncomfortable. Instead of the ‘Don’t do that’ lecture, open up the conversation. Say ‘What do you think about this? Do you know kids who’ve done it? What do you think can happen when you have that photo of yourself out there?’ ” Explain that “when you send a photo of yourself off into the ether, you are making a decision to forgo control over yourself and your image.”

Chances are, Nightingale says, you have no idea what your teen’s definition of privacy is. Chances are, it’s very different from yours. “This is a generation that thinks nothing of updating their Facebook friends on mundane little activities of the day. The concept of having a private life has been muddied.”

Setting limits is key, she says. “Let them know what is appropriate to you and what your values are. You can’t assume they know what you think.”

Michael Josephson wants to go one step further—he wants parents to discuss the ethics of sexting. “When we talk about morality or ethics, we’re also talking about responsibility,” he says. “None of these acts truly occurs in a vacuum; there are stakeholders. If a child puts his picture on the Web, you don’t think that’s a major embarrassment to brothers and sisters, possibly the school?

A responsible person thinks about how his or her decisions impact other people.”

At the very least, kids need to know how much trouble they can get into for simply making or possessing these images. “When the legislation for child pornography was enacted, no one was imagining minors taking photos of their own bodies,” says Jeffrey Douglas, a Santa Monica, California, defense attorney.

“People don’t realize that prosecutors may not have a lot of leeway in prosecuting these cases, and if kids are convicted, they could be labeled as sex offenders. Kids don’t think about this, because they never believe they’ll be caught. They don’t even know that what they’re doing is a crime.”

Seven seems absurdly young. But the next time an image from one of these sites pops up on my iPhone, Henry and I will have another talk, as age-appropriate as I can make it, about people’s bodies and how his body belongs to him and him alone. Once he takes off his clothes online, even as a joke, he becomes public property. Other people have control over him. Anyone can do with him what they like.

I know my son. He’s a control freak and a tightwad, and the idea that anyone could have something of his that he didn’t consent to give would be horrible. I can’t rely on this impulse forever, but for now and for the foreseeable future, he really doesn’t like to share.

Wanted: Peace of MindYour kids are savvy enough to delete the recent history of their Internet use from their computers. Here are other options for the wary parent:

Yoursphere.com is a social networking site that restricts membership to kids and teens (”creepers,” adults trawling for teens, are sussed out and barred) and monitors bullying.

LMK, for “Let Me Know,” is a Girl Scouts site where girls can talk to one another about Internet safety.

Websafety.com sells software that can be downloaded to your kid’s cell phone and computer to alert you if she’s sending inappropriate texts or photos.

Safe Eyes, from internetsafety.com, lets you track your child’s instant messaging, monitor social networking sites, and impose limits on his online minutes.

Cell Phone Spy Elite, a device from brickhousesecurity.com, retrieves deleted text messages from cell phones.

Parental Guidance Is KeyWalking that fine line between parent and prison guard is tough.

Here’s what other parents do when it comes to their teens and social networking sites.

“My teenage boys have to ‘friend’ me on Facebook, and if I see something that crosses my line, we talk, and they remove it.”

“We limit her contact list to a few trusted friends.”

“Since friends do crazy things, they are not allowed to use his computer.”

“She has iChat and Google Talk, but she will have neither if she chats with someone she does not know.”

“Two rules: The computer stays in the family room, and we don’t buy laptops. They’re too easy to sneak into another room.”

“I snoop. She doesn’t want me on her Facebook page, but if the computer’s on, I will check it out.”

“I unwittingly reinforced the idea that raunchy paper trails are bad when my teenager discovered my high school yearbook. Reading notes from my friends, she was mortified to learn that I had tried drugs.”

“We conduct surprise inspections of her photo cache and iChat histories. We haven’t installed spyware—yet—but if we find anything out of line, we will, and she knows it.”

From Reader’s Digest - May 2009

Sue Scheff: Teens and Tattoos

This can be a hot topic today - each parent has their own beliefs, however learn more about getting tattoo’s and important information for keeping it safe.

Source: TeensHealth

It seems like everyone has a tattoo these days. What used to be the property of sailors, outlaws, and biker gangs is now a popular body decoration for many people. And it’s not just anchors, skulls, and battleships anymore — from school emblems to Celtic designs to personalized symbols, people have found many ways to express themselves with their tattoos. Maybe you’ve thought about getting one. But before you head down to the nearest tattoo shop and roll up your sleeve, there are a few things you need to know.

WHAT IS A TATTOO?

A tattoo is a puncture wound, made deep in your skin, that’s filled with ink. It’s made by penetrating your skin with a needle and injecting ink into the area, usually creating some sort of design. What makes tattoos so long-lasting is they’re so deep — the ink isn’t injected into the epidermis (the top layer of skin that you continue to produce and shed throughout your lifetime). Instead, the ink is injected into the dermis, which is the second, deeper layer of skin. Dermis cells are very stable, so the tattoo is practically permanent.

Tattoos used to be done manually — that is, the tattoo artist would puncture the skin with a needle and inject the ink by hand. Though this process is still used in some parts of the world, most tattoo shops use a tattoo machine these days. A tattoo machine is a handheld electric instrument that uses a tube and needle system. On one end is a sterilized needle, which is attached to tubes that contain ink. A foot switch is used to turn on the machine, which moves the needle in and out while driving the ink about 1/8 inch (about 3 millimeters) into your skin.Most tattoo artists know how deep to drive the needle into your skin, but not going deep enough will produce a ragged tattoo, and going too deep can cause bleeding and intense pain. Getting a tattoo can take several hours, depending on the size and design chosen.

Read entire article: http://teenshealth.org/teen/your_body/body_art/safe_tattooing.html

Sue Scheff: Parents, Divorce and Teens

I know there are many parents that can relate to this. Personally, I grew up in a time when the divorce was almost unheard of, however once my siblings and I were all over 18, our parents divorced. What a relief! In many ways - it is my opinion, if you you know the marriage it over, and you have exhausted every avenue to keep it alive - and it is obvious that the union is over, in many ways divorce can be a better route for the kids - rather than living with the feuding and constant tension and confliction within the family unit. This is only my experience, take time to review these great tips from Connect with Kids. I am in no way promoting divorce, I am only saying as mature adults we need to do what is best for all involved. Of course, each family and their dynamics are different - requiring different solutions and results.

Source: Connect with Kids

Family Feuding

“It’s very hard, and it takes a lot for me to trust somebody. I don’t trust people very openly, very freely.”

– Katherine Yarberry, 14 years old

Katherine Yarberry’s parents got along well until she was about 4 years old.

“We all had a lot of fun together, that’s all I can remember,” says Katherine, who is now 14.
But those good times with her mom and dad didn’t last long. Soon, the arguing began, creating moments in time she will never forget.

“I was in the other room, and I heard something break, and my dad had thrown a plate against the wall,” she says. “They were having a fight.”

When children grow up in households where their parents often fight and the prevailing emotion is anger, it’s easy to imagine why they would be unhappy. And that unhappiness can last a lifetime.

“It’s very hard, and it takes a lot for me to trust somebody. I don’t trust people very openly, very freely,” Katherine says.

The Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry reports that kids who witness constant fighting are at greater risk for depression, drug dependence and low self-esteem.

What’s more, their future relationships with their spouse or their children are also at risk.
“I think parents don’t understand, and they get involved in their own issues [so] they don’t get the perspective that they need to that they are role modeling for their children and children are probably going to copy them in some way or another,” says Dr. John Lochridge, a psychiatrist.
Experts say parents need to remember that every time they fight, they are influencing their children’s behavior patterns.

The good news, Lochridge says, is that if angry parents teach their kids anger, then they can also teach them conflict resolution. And it’s never too late to begin.

“I think you can change your relationship to make it much more appropriate for the kids,” Lochridge says. “In fact, you can even role model conflict resolution.”

Tips for Parents

Several studies suggest that children of divorced parents are at an “increased risk” for later problems – namely divorce – in their own marriages. One study, published in the Journal of Marriage and Family,followed 2,000 married people and 335 of their children over a 17-year period.

“Children who grow up with divorced parents tend to reach adulthood with a relatively weak commitment to the norm of lifelong marriage,” says study author Dr. Paul R. Amato of Pennsylvania State University. “When their own marriages become troubled, they tend to leave the relationship rather than stick it out or work on it.”

He says adult children of divorce have a tendency to jettison relationships that may be salvageable. Among the findings in Dr. Amato’s study:

Children of divorce are twice as likely to see their own marriages end in divorce.
Children of “maritally distressed parents” who remain continuously married did not have an elevated risk of divorce.

The risk of divorce was more likely among children whose parents reported a low, rather than high, level of discord prior to divorce.

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) says that during the difficult period of divorce, parents may be preoccupied with their own problems but continue to be the most important people in their children’s lives. Children will cope best if they know their mother and father will still be their parents and remain involved with them even though the marriage is ending and their parents won’t live together.

The AACAP says research shows that it is best for children of divorce when their parents can cooperate on behalf of their children.The authors of Making Divorce Easier on Your Child: 50 Effective Ways to Help Children Adjust give the following advice to parents to help minimize the negative effects of divorce on their children:
Subject children to as few changes as possible as a result of the divorce. For example, try to have the children attend the same schools, continue to live in the same home, etc.
Don’t argue or fight with your ex-spouse in your children’s presence. The amount of parental conflict that your children witness following divorce is directly related to their level of adjustment.

Consistent discipline is very important. Both parents should use similar, age-appropriate discipline techniques with their children.

Don’t use children as messengers in parental communications. Children should never be asked to relay messages, such as “Tell your dad that he is late with the child support payment.”
Don’t use children as spies.

Don’t use children as allies in parental battles.

Don’t demean the other parent in front of children. Remember that your ex-spouse is still your children’s parent.

Don’t burden children with personal fears and concerns.

It is usually in your children’s best interest to have a consistent pattern of frequent visits with the non-custodial parent.

If major problems develop for children and/or parents, seek professional assistance.

References
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
Journal of Marriage and Family
Making Divorce Easier on Your Child: 50 Effective Ways to Help Children Adjust, by Nicholas Long and Rex Forehand
Pennsylvania State University
Simmons College

Sue Scheff: Kidsfluence

Check out this fantastic and informational website offering webcasts, TV Show, articles and more about today’s teens and all kids. Up to date content on what your kids are doing online and how to understand it all! Yes - all confusing and all ever changing.

Source: Kidsfluence

Kidfluence is a brand created to strengthen youth development and education. Through its many programs such as Kidfluence TV, Teen Talk and Teen Screen, Kidfluence aims to be a leading advocate on teen issues.

http://www.kidfluence.tv/

The heart of the brand is an exciting new television show, Kidfluence TV, that discusses issues, events, and conflicts that affect our youth today.

A diverse group of opinionated personalities ranging from parents, coaches, teachers, professionals, advocates, and of course, tweens and teenagers will contribute to very candid discussions. With so many issues affecting our youth today, everyone has a point of view on what should be done, how matters should be handled.

Kidfluence is a television program that allows everyone to be an influential and a loyal supporter of tackling youth issues head on.

Sue Scheff - Positive Parenting and Kids Today

Source: Love Our Children USA

Knowing that the world we live in today is very different, Love Our Children USA recognizes that we must redefine parenting.

No one is a perfect parent and there is no magical way to raise children. And we know kids can be challenging!

Parenthood and caring for a child is a gift bestowed upon us which comes with the greatest responsibility and pledge … to guarantee the safety, nurturing, loving environment and physical and emotional wellness of our children … for ALL children!

Anyone and everyone can learn good parenting skills. Even parents who are overwhelmed, or alone. The first three years of your child’s life are crucial. Those are the years that your child will develop significant intellectual, emotional and social abilities. That’s when they learn to give and accept love. They learn confidence, security, and empathy … they learn to be curious and persistent …everything your child needs to learn to relate well to others, and lead a happy and productive life. The first three years are the doorway to forever!

Learn more here: http://www.loveourchildrenusa.org/parent_positiveparent.php

Sue Scheff - Teen Birth Rates Up?

Teen birth rates up? Parents need to take steps to learn why - what can they do to help their young teens understand having a child is not easy. Before you are faced with this difficult and sensitive situations, continue opening communication about sex as well as contraceptives. Years ago a young teen getting pregnant seemed like the worst possible situation - now having unprotected sex can not only lead to pregnancy and big decisions for young teens, but deadly diseases. Take time to learn more.

Source: Connect with Kids

“It does give them another way to look at themselves, and to look at their bodies as a powerful force and not just sort of ornamental.”
– Laura Mee, Ph.D., Child Psychologist.

One girl gives birth to a baby. Another plays basketball with her brother. What’s the connection?

Studies show girls who play sports are less likely to have sex and less likely to get pregnant. One reason may be these athletes gain confidence and respect for their bodies.

“It does give them another way to look at themselves, and to look at their bodies as a powerful force and not just sort of ornamental,” explains child psychologist, Dr. Laura Mee.

Experts say experiencing pressure on the court gives them the strength to resist pressure from a boyfriend. And, in their free time, it gives them something else to focus on besides how they look, “Their hair, their clothes, their, like reputation… mostly all they want to do is impress the boys,” says 12-year-old Claire.

What’s more, studies have found that athletic girls have higher self-esteem, better grades and less stress.

So, experts say, encourage your daughters to get involved in sports and then cheer them on. “Make it as important that your daughters have sporting events as you would for your son that you treat them as equally as you possibly can, that you support and encourage and that the other children, whether they are male or female, support and encourage each other in their sports activities,” says Mee.

Tips for Parents

Sex is something parents should constantly discuss with their teens, but you should really give your teens “the talk” before summer and Christmas vacation. According to one study, teens are much more likely to lose their virginity during the months of June and December than any other time of the year. Almost 19,000 adolescents in grades seven through twelve participated in the survey, which identified the month they had sexual intercourse for the first time. The survey also asked if the act was with a romantic partner or was more “casual.”

The findings, published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, show June as the most popular month, followed closely by December. Summer and Christmas vacations are believed to be the cause with school out and teens with time on their hands. More events are also planned in June, including high school proms, graduations and summertime parties. The “holiday season effect” makes December the second highest month for teen sex. Experts explained that during the holidays, young females in relationships are more likely to have sex. The holidays usually bring people together and make them closer. The same is true with teenagers.

All studies indicate messages from parents regarding sex are extremely important to teens (Washington State Department of Health). In fact, teens state parents as their number one resource for information on the topic. This talk may be uncomfortable for many parents, so the National Parent Teacher Association (PTA) has provided the following tips for parents:

Practice. It may take practice to feel comfortable talking about sex with your kids. Rehearsing with a friend or partner can help. Be honest. Admit to your child if talking about sex is not easy for you. You might say, “I wish I’d talked with you about sex when you were younger, but I found it difficult and kept putting it off. My parents never talked to me about it, and I wish they had.”

Pay attention. Often parents do not talk to their teens about sex because they did not notice they wanted or needed information. Not all teens ask direct questions. Teenagers are often unwilling to admit they do not know everything. Notice what is going on with your child and use that as a basis for starting a conversation about sexual topics.

Look for chances to discuss the sexual roles and attitudes of men and women with your child. Use television show, ads and articles as a start.

Listen. When you give your full attention, you show that you respect your child’s thoughts and feelings. Listening also gives you a chance to correct wrong information they may have gotten from friends. As you listen, be sensitive to unasked questions. “My friend Mary is going out on a real date,” could lead to a discussion of how to handle feelings about touching and kissing.
Parents can also share their feelings on the topic through words and actions. The best way is to talk to teens. Even though it may seem like they are not listening – they are. To have a healthy and effective discussion on sex, the Advocates for Youth Campaign encourages parents to:
Educate yourself and talk with your children about issues of sexuality. Do not forget about discussing the importance of relationships, love, and commitment.

Discuss explicitly with preadolescents and teens the value of delaying sexual initiation and the importance of love and intimacy as well as of safer sex and protecting their health.

Encourage strong decision-making skills by providing youth with age-appropriate opportunities to make decisions and to experience the consequences of those decisions. Allow young people to make mistakes and encourage them to learn from them.

Encourage teens to create a resource list of organizations to which they can turn for assistance with sexual health, and other, issues. Work together to find books and Web sites that offer accurate information.

Actively support comprehensive sexuality education in the schools. Find out what is being taught about sexuality, who is teaching it, and what your teens think about it.
Actively voice your concerns if the sexuality education being taught in local public schools is biased, discriminatory, or inaccurate, has religious content, or promotes a particular creed or denomination.

Demonstrate unconditional love and respect for your children.

References
Advocates for Youth Campaign
Journal of Marriage and Family
National Parent Teacher Association
Washington State Department of Health