Distracted Driving: From One Second To The Next, #ItCanWait

Xzavier, Chandler, Debbie, and Reggie all know the horrors of texting & driving firsthand. Watch their stories in this It Can Wait Documentary.

Schools are opening and many teens will be driving to their classes.  What type of role model are you?  Do you talk or text while driving?  Studies have shown that kids are largely influenced by their parents.  You have to lead by example.

Don't be a distracted driver - your child is watching.  #ItCanWait - Take the Pledge.

Class Learning verses Online Classes: What Fits Your Teenager?

As technology continues to influence and change our way of living, parents are now faced with the consideration of allowing their teenagers to prepare for or begin college through online courses for credit. During the past five years or so, a great deal of development in this area has been taking place, all with the backing of the U.S. Department of Education. There are, however, a number of pros and cons when it comes to this modern method of study, and launching young adults out into the world is a heavy responsibility. Most parents want to get through the process with no regrets, so it is wise to take the time to determine if online classes would actually be a good fit for your teenager.


Let’s face it: not all kids and family situations are alike. What works well for some may spell disaster for others. With the growing number of options available in educating our children, this should certainly be considered from more than one perspective. Whether you’ve sent your son or daughter through public or private school, or even educated them at home, the subject of entry-level online college courses is very likely to come up at some point before or after high school graduation.

Considering all the angles when it comes to online education may mean doing some personal research and evaluation. Web-based education has some fantastic benefits, but there are additionally some serious drawbacks. Allowing a teen to stay home in front of a computer for extended periods of time could possibly have health or psychological disadvantages. Parents needs to assess things such as the physical condition and mental health of their children. Some parents may also wonder if they actually want to encourage more screen time in a lifestyle already loaded with digital activity. On the flipside, there are cases where studying online may be a hindrance to teens with more outgoing personalities, leading to a sense of isolation, or at minimum feeling somewhat separated from other people. Those are the students that truly need to have face-to-face interaction with others and will learn better in that environment.

Another big consideration ought to be the student’s learning and communication style. Teens whose learning styles lean more toward the auditory than visual or who are more kinetic learners may do better in the usual face-to-face classroom setting than sitting in front of a laptop screen loaded heavily with text. If this seems like a big mystery, it may be sensible and wise to consult a professional for some input or learning style testing just to be sure. Some community colleges even offer this sort of help in their student services departments.

It isn’t uncommon for older teenagers to take a gap year before starting a rigorous academic program, and in fact it’s becoming something of a trend. While some use the gap year for travel and a complete break from school, others may combine a few courses of study with travel opportunities. Still other students simply need a time to gear up gradually, or do some soul-searching and exploration of ideas before making the big break from home. Online courses may fit in well with any of these situations. Students might find that studying via the Internet before leaving home is a safe way to make decisions while still living under their parents’ roof. This can also be a time to test the waters, get a better feel for the responsibilities of college, and the demands and workload involved with being a more advanced, full-time student.

Some high school students engage in programs that allow for dual credit. This option not only provides credit toward high school graduation, but gives students a head start in college. If saving money is a big issue for parents and their kids, encouraging an early start with online courses could save thousands of dollars. Programs are popping up both on the Internet and through local community and state colleges, and there will be more in time. So whether high school students go for dual credit or want to have a gentle start to their college careers, big savings can be realized through taking courses online.

Taking advantage of online college courses is a viable option for many families, but it is understandably not everyone’s cup of tea. Parents should definitely weigh it all out before allowing or encouraging their teens to sign up for this route. One way or another, online college courses are here to stay as we move more and more into an electronic society.

Join me on Facebook  and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today's teenagers.

Homework Frustrations: Tips to Relieve Homework Stress

Schools are back in session. Teens that have been swimming, surfing, enjoying the beach, traveling or simply sleeping in over the summer are now faced with studies, homework and deadlines.


What can you do as a parent to help them overcome this hump and get them back into the study habits?

8 Ways Parents Can Help With Homework:


1. Offer encouragement. Give your child praise for efforts and for completing assignments.
2. Be available. Encourage your child to do the work independently, but be available for assistance.
3. Maintain a schedule. Establish a set time to do homework each day. You may want to use a calendar to keep track of assignments and due dates.
4. Designate space. Provide a space for homework, stocked with necessary supplies, such as pencils, pens, paper, dictionaries, a computer, and other reference materials.
5. Provide discipline. Help your child focus on homework by removing distractions, such as television, radio, telephone, and interruptions from siblings and friends.
6. Be a role model. Consider doing some of your work, such as paying bills or writing letters, during your child's homework time.
7. Be supportive. Talk to your child about difficulties with homework. Be willing to talk to your child's teacher to resolve problems in a positive manner.
8. Involvement. Familiarize yourself with the teacher's homework policy. Make sure that you and your child understand the teacher's expectations. At the beginning of the year, you may want to ask your child's teacher these questions: What kinds of assignments will you give? How often do you give homework? How much time are the students expected to spend on them? What type of involvement do you expect from parents?

Sources: Chicago Public Schools, Connect with Kids

Be an educated parent; your teens will have a better school year!

Read more.

Sue Scheff: Family Time Out

School is opening in many areas of our country and soon kids and teens will be getting back into their academic schedule.

As a parent we need to be sure our teens are prepared not only with school supplies, but more importantly, with the self-esteem and motivation to have a fantastic academic and social year.
Parents and their teens need to take the time to open their lines of communication and turn off technology. Creating a “family-time-out” as part of your evening schedule can help you become more in tune to your child’s life; both at school and socially.

Take at least 15 minutes each evening and turn off all electronics. Including TV, cell phones, Computers, telephones (don’t answer), radio, Ipods, etc. Many families find that doing this in the later evening is easier; around 8:30-9:00pm after dinner when parents are home from their jobs and have had time to unwind.

Ask your teen how their day was? Did they meet any new friends? How are their teachers? What are they studying? I am amazed that many parents are so busy with their own work and lives, they are not aware of what subject a child is studying in school. With today’s technology, I always encourage parents to ask about virtual friends and where your teen is surfing online. Remember, being an educated parent can help you be a better parent.

Part of family-time-out is also sharing your day. Many teens are not aware of what their parents do or how they feel. Once your teen realizes that you are human too, with feelings that can get hurt by friends or co-workers, they will be more open to share their feelings with you.As school opens, let’s start opening the lines of communication at home too.

Visit www.helpyourteens.com for more information.

Sue Scheff: Back to School - School Uniforms

What a great subject for this time of the year! Personally, as a parent, when my kids were in school, I applauded uniforms. The kids don't always agree with this.

Source: Connect with Kids

“Uniforms — they’re just so plain … and eeewww ... I don’t like them,”

– Chelsea, 12

Every year, as tens of millions of students head back to school, there is a question that routinely gets asked this time of year: should public schools require uniforms? The research shows what a child wears can have an impact on learning and behavior.

“This is the plaid skirt. It’s really cute,” says 10-year-old Paige, as she displays her new school uniforms.

Paige is trying to stay positive, but the truth is she and her older sister Chelsea don’t like the thought of having to wear uniforms.

“I think it’s kind of a bad idea because you want to be your own self,” says Paige.

According to Chelsea, 12, “It doesn’t give you your chance to shine as a person. And uniforms — they’re just so plain … and eeewww ... I don’t like them,” she exclaims.

This year, the girls are switching to a new school that requires uniforms — much to their parent’s delight.

“I think that uniforms remove a great, great barrier from one child to the next,” says Charles Addison, Paige and Chelsea’s father. “They just have to deal with their schoolwork and concentrate on math, science, history and not those other distractions.”

Researchers at Youngstown University found that wearing uniforms can lead to better attendance and graduation rates as well as lower suspension rates.

“It reduces conflict and branding among student groups — cliquishness. [Uniforms also reduce the] potential for bullying for not wearing the right clothes,” explains psychologist Dr. Jennifer Thorpe. “Uniforms keep kids on task, doing their work, engaged in the curriculum.”

But this research isn’t conclusive. Previous studies have shown that uniforms don’t improve student performance or behavior. And critics argue uniforms suppress a student’s individuality.

“As kids move into middle school and high school, they begin to use clothes to define themselves as a form of self-expression that can carry a lot of weight in terms of how they are perceived by their peers,” Dr. Thorpe explains.

She says if your children are required to wear uniforms, you can do what Chelsea and Paige’s parents do: remind them there are lots of other ways to express yourself.

“Do it with your mind, your mouth, your smile. Be happy,” says Clarence Addison. “You can show all of the things that you wanted to show through clothes, just show it through your personality.”

Tips for Parents

In September 1987, the students of Cherry Hill Elementary School, an inner-city public school in Baltimore, Md., began voluntarily wearing uniforms to school. Cherry Hill is attributed as the first public school to adopt a uniform policy. Donning the uniforms was part of a community, grass roots effort to curb clothing costs and social pressures. After a decade had passed, principal Geraldine Smallwood believed students were doing better in the classroom because by dressing in the uniforms, “they know that they are coming to work.”

A study by the National Association of Elementary School Principals found that principals reported dress codes as having positive effects on:

■The school’s image within the community.
■Classroom discipline.
■Peer pressure.
■School spirit.
■Concentration on schoolwork.
■Student safety.
Further findings from the U.S. Department of Education show uniforms:

■Decrease violence and theft among students over designer clothing and expensive sneakers.
■Prevent gang members from wearing gang colors and insignias to school.
■Instill students with discipline.
■Help parents and students resist peer pressure.
■Help school officials recognize intruders on the campus.
Unless there are clear disciplinary or safety problems in the schools (which may or may not be the situation in your district), the federal government advises that uniform-style dress codes be optional or include an opt-out clause. In some districts, students whose parents "opt out" attend another school that does not have a uniform policy. If your district has only one middle and one high school, these students would have to attend other schools at district expense, or be given homebound instruction. Furthermore, districts must make uniforms available to low-income families at reasonable – or no cost. Given these guidelines, there are certain elements parents should expect if their child’s school is implementing a uniform policy.

The U.S. Department of Education gives these guidelines to adopt a school uniform policy:

■Involve parents from the beginning.
■Protect students’ religious expression, e.g. allow heads, arms and legs to be covered.
■Protect students’ other rights of expression, e.g. political viewpoints displayed on items meeting uniform criteria.
■Determine whether the policy is mandatory or voluntary. Mandatory policies without an opt-out provision are vulnerable to legal challenge.
■Do not require students to wear a message on the uniform.
■Assist families that need financial help.
■Treat uniforms as part of an overall safety program.

References
■National Association of Elementary School Principals
■Pauline Harding's School Uniforms and Dress Codes Page
■U.S. Department of Education

Academic Pressure

School is open - great tips for parents and their kids with academic stress.

Source: Connect with Kids

“You have to keep things in perspective. Academics are only a part of your life.”

– Zachary, 14

“Well, I’m getting all A’s, so that’s good,” he says.

He has won awards for academic achievement, including one for having the highest grade-point average. But what happens if someday Zachary doesn’t perform well in school?

“Part of me is always worried about that,” says his mother, Jen Yu. “Some day, when he hits that roadblock, is he gonna be able to accept it, or is it gonna be something, you know, that really bothers him a lot?”

While that may not be a problem for Zachary, yet, more and more kids are experiencing anxiety about being perfect in school.

According to the latest State of our Nation’s Youth report, 79 percent of teens say the pressure to get good grades is a problem. That’s up from 62 percent in 2001.

45 percent polled say that pressure is “major”, up from 19 percent.

Experts say, for many teens, even when they do well, they still think they could do better.

“The problem is that they will always be anxious. They will always fail. Even when they have a 4-point average they will always fail in their own eyes and they can’t ever relax,” explains Dr. Allen Carter, a psychologist.

He says parents should help kids understand being perfect isn’t realistic and help them create balance in their lives- beyond academics.

Zachary’s parents encourage him to learn music, play games and simply relax.

“You have to keep things in perspective,“ Zachary says. “Academics are only a part of your life, and they should only stay a part of it and not become your whole life.”

Tips for Parents

Even children who earn high marks at school may be suffering emotional distress and anxiety due to the high expectations they have set for themselves, according to a study from Smith College. In a study of 36 children in third through fifth grades, researchers found that children who rated high on perfectionism exhibited significantly more anxiety and dissatisfaction with their performance on computer tasks than their low-perfectionism peers, even when both groups performed equally well. In fact, the perfectionist kids predicted they would perform less well than the low-perfectionism kids. Lead researcher Patricia DiBartolo says the problem is not that kids are setting high standards; rather, they become too distressed and are not able to accept the mistakes they make in the course of learning.

“Perfectionistic kids get caught in a vicious cycle. When approaching a task or project, they feel less able to succeed, get anxious and then evaluate their performance more negatively than their non-perfectionistic peers,” DiBartolo said.

How big of a problem is perfectionism in childhood? According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, perfectionism is recognized as a “common correlate” of social anxiety disorder. Nationally, 1% (nearly 400,000) of children between the ages of 10 and 18 suffer from a clinical level of social anxiety disorder. Counselors at the University of Dundee associate the following negative feelings, thoughts and beliefs with perfectionism:

Fear of failure: Perfectionists often equate failure to achieve their goals with a lack of personal worth or value.
Fear of making mistakes: Perfectionists often equate mistakes with failure. In orienting their lives around avoiding mistakes, perfectionists miss opportunities to learn and grow.
Fear of disapproval: If they let others see their flaws, perfectionists often fear that they will no longer be accepted. Trying to be perfect is a way of trying to protect themselves from criticism, rejection and disapproval.
All-or-none thinking: Perfectionists frequently believe that they are worthless if their accomplishments are not perfect. Perfectionists have difficulty seeing situations in perspective. For example, a straight A student who receives a B might believe, “I am a total failure."
Overemphasis on “shoulds”: Perfectionists' lives are often structured by an endless list of “shoulds" that serve as rigid rules for how their lives must be led. With such an overemphasis on shoulds, perfectionists rarely take into account their own wants and desires.
Believing that others are easily successful: Perfectionists tend to perceive others as achieving success with a minimum of effort, few errors, emotional stress and maximum self-confidence. At the same time, perfectionists view their own efforts as unending and forever inadequate.
As a parent, how can you determine if your child has problems with perfectionism? Experts at the University of Texas cite the following guidelines comparing a perfectionist to a healthy striver:

Perfectionist
Healthy Striver

Sets standards beyond reach and reason
Is never satisfied by anything less than perfection
Becomes dysfunctionally depressed when experiences failure and disappointment
Is preoccupied with fear of failure and disapproval, which can deplete energy levels
Sees mistakes as evidence of unworthiness
Becomes overly defensive when criticized
Sets high standards but just beyond reach
Enjoys process as well as outcome
Bounces back from failure and disappointment quickly and with energy
Keeps normal anxiety and fear of failure and disapproval within bounds, using them to create energy
Sees mistakes as opportunities for growth and learning
Reacts positively to helpful criticism


The first step in changing your child’s perfectionistic attitudes to healthy striving is to help him or her realize that perfectionism is undesirable. The University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign suggests teaching your child the following strategies to change the behaviors and thoughts that fuel his or her perfectionism:

Set realistic and reachable goals based on your own wants and needs and what you have accomplished in the past. This step will enable you to achieve and also will lead to a greater sense of self-esteem.
Set subsequent goals in a sequential manner. As you reach a goal, set your next goal one level beyond your present level of accomplishment.
Experiment with your standards for success. Choose any activity and instead of aiming for 100%, try for 90%, 80% or even 60% success. This step will help you to realize that the world does not end when you are not perfect.
Focus on the process of doing an activity not just on the end result. Evaluate your success not only in terms of what you accomplished but also in terms of how much you enjoyed the task. Recognize that value exists in the process of pursuing a goal.
Use feelings of anxiety and depression as opportunities to ask yourself, “Have I set up impossible expectations for myself in this situation?"
Confront the fears that may be behind your perfectionism by asking yourself, “Of what am I afraid? What is the worst thing that could happen?"
Recognize that many positive things can only be learned by making mistakes. When you make a mistake ask, “What can I learn from this experience?" More specifically, think of a recent mistake you have made and list all the things you can learn from it.
References
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
The Horatio Alger Association of Distinguished Americans
Smith College
University of Dundee
University of Texas
University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign