Sue Scheff: Michele Borba Release the BIG BOOK of Parenting Solutions

I feel both privileged and honored Dr. Michele Borba took the time in her busy schedule to speak with me about her latest book, and one of the most comprehensive parenting books I have yet to read. This book doesn’t miss a beat, and whether you are a parent, grandparent, educator, daycare provider, Family Coach, therapist or anyone that works with children, this book has to be part of your library! My daughter is definitely receiving one from Santa this year! (My daughter is the proud mother of 2 beautiful kids - my grandchildren, and I want both her and my son-in-law to have this reference book for parenting in today’s generation). Thank you in advance Michele!

Like most parents, you desperately want to raise healthy, happy, caring, self-sufficient kids. But despite the stacks of parenting books you’ve collected, you’re still struggling to find workable solutions to your child-rearing conundrums. Enter parenting expert and author Dr. Michele Borba. In a marketplace overly saturated with trend-based parenting books promising dubious quick fixes, Borba saw a void that needed to be filled. She realized parents were getting answers to their questions, and yet these “solutions” failed to deliver lasting, long-term results. Her response was to sit down and write the parenting book to end all parenting books. I had the opportunity to interview TODAY’s parenting contributor about her latest book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions. Here is what she said:

Q. Let’s face it, there are so many parenting books. Why did you find need to write another?

I wanted to write one all-encompassing, go-to guide that promises to be the last resource parents will ever need for raising kids 3 to 13.I think there’s too much conflicting information out there and many parenting books don’t offer common-sense solutions that are research-based. Everything in The Big Book of Parenting Solutions is based on the latest scientific research as well as practical solutions that reap the most effective results.

Q.What are some of the 101 topics you address and how did you choose those issues?

I surveyed 5000 parents and asked them what their concerns and topics in 75 of my TODAY show segments that were based on late-breaking issues. The book offers advice for issues including biting, tantrums, cheating, bad friends picky eaters and homework wars to more hot-button challenges like inappropriate clothing, sex, drugs, peer pressure and cyberbullying. Each of the 101 issues also gives specific step-by-step solutions and advice that is age appropriate.

Q. Why did you also covers tougher issues like eating disorders, cyberbullying depression, stress, drinking, sex in a book for 3 to 13 year olds?

Because it’s a different world—8 is the new 13. We’re now seeing depression in 3 years olds, eating disorders in 8 year olds, and 13year olds are having oral sex. Parents can get real solutions to tough problems, no matter what age their kids are, and head them off before it’s too late to turn that behavior around.

Q.Your book is designed almost like a cookbook. How did you choose the design?

What parent has the time or the energy at the end of a long, stressful day to pore over pages in a parenting book? So I designed this book to work like a cookbook or a desk reference. Parents can look up the problem they want to address, flip right to the correct chapter, and find an easy-to-follow formula for getting the results they want.

Q. Why did you list signs of every problem in every chapter?

Unless parents dig deeper to uncover the reasons their kid is using that bad behavior, the problem will just pop up again later, perhaps in a different form. I’ll help you get to the root of every kid problem so you can begin to truly fix it—and to ensure that the results are both effective and long-lasting. I’ll help parents figure out why their child is using the behavior ad I’ll offer a list of new skills to replace the bad habits so the problem stops once and for all.
How does a parent know its time to worry and consult a professional for the problem?
Sometimes a child’s problem may be bigger than her parents’ ability to solve it. I’ll help you determine what “normal” kid behavior is and what requires the guidance of a professional. For every problem I address, I also list the warning signs that indicate the need to seek outside help.
Q. What makes you a parenting expert that parents should trust?

True parenting experts not only have credentials, they also have the years of experience to back them up. I have a doctorate in counseling and psychology, taught child development, wrote 23 parenting books, had a private practice for troubled kids, and taught special education as well as gifted students. I’ve also given workshops to over a million parents and teachers on four continents, and stay current with late breaking parenting news as a contributor to NBC’s Today show. But my best experience is that I’m the mother of three sons—so I’ve been in the same trenches and I know how challenging parenting can be.

I’ve literally put over 25 years of my experiences into this book with the absolute best parenting solutions, responses, and research. My passion is to share what I’ve learned with others so that they can get the help they need and deserve. I think I’ve done it – The Big Book of Parenting Solutions really has everything parent needs to raise a strong, caring kids in a today’s challenging world.

Follow Michele Borba on Twitter @MicheleBorba and read her Blogs on http://www.micheleborba.com/

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Sue Scheff: Teen Suicide Prevention Month

As you have probably heard before, talking to your teen about suicide is one of the most important things you can do in helping to prevent a suicide attempt. Many times parents are unsure of what to say and instead say nothing. Here are some suggestions of how you can open the channels of communication and help your teen open up.

First, tell your teen you care; no matter the state of your relationship, just hearing this can go a long way. Tell your teen you are there if needed, and are willing to listen without judging. NAMI estimates that around 80% of all teens who attempt suicide give some sort of verbal or nonverbal warning beforehand, so be sure to take whatever your teen says completely seriously.
A common mistake parents make when dealing with a suicidal teen is thinking that if they mention suicide they will be planting the idea in their teen’s brain.

This is simply not accurate. In fact, by mentioning your fears, you are showing your teen that you take their actions and their life seriously. Remember, most people who are suicidal do not really want to die- they want to put an end to the suffering they are experiencing. When given an opportunity to be helped through that suffering, or when some of that suffering is alleviated by knowing they aren’t alone, this can help reduce the desire to end the pain by more drastic means.

Did you know? (Florida Initiative for Suicide Prevention)

Worldwide over 1,000,000 people die each year by suicide.

The CDC's most recent report shows the largest One-Year Increase in Youth Suicide Rate in 15 Years

Suicide takes the lives of over 2,400 Floridians and over 33,300 Americans in 2007.
Suicide is the 11th cause of death in the Americans.

In 2004, there were 2,382 reported suicide deaths in Florida.

In Broward County Florida the youngest documented child to complete suicide was 9 years of age.

Florida has the 2nd highest number of suicides in the Nation and ranks #13 highest rate of all the states [2001].

Florida has more than two times the number of suicides than homicides or deaths by HIV/AIDS.

Every 43 seconds someone in the U.S. attempts suicide; Every 17 minutes someone in the U.S. dies by suicide.

For every single completed suicide there are at least 25 attempts!

Each person who dies by suicide leaves behind an average of eight loved ones or survivors, not to mention friends, co-workers, schoolmates and religious affiliates

For more info: Parents' Universal Resource Experts, Florida Initiative for Suicide Prevention, Teen Suicide, National Institude of Mental Health, NAMI.

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Sue Scheff: What is your 12 year old doing?

Lane Sutton, also known as KidCritic, is not your average 12 year old. He created his own website critiquing movies, restaurants, books, activities and more as well as taken on Twitter by storm.

Learn about this amazing kid! I was honored to interview him and hopefully covered the questions people wanted to know. Someday we are going to hear big things about this young entrepeneur.

1. How old were you when you started using the computer and when did you decide to create your own website?

I have been using the computer since I was five years old when I had ran my own newspaper that was circulated to family members and friends for a couple years. I have been reading since I was three years old. On December 29, 2008 I came up with an idea to run a website where I can use my entrepreneurial expertise and writing skills as well as computer, design and code skills to create the website posting reviews. I worked very diligently to get the site up and running for a grand opening on January 1, 2009 when it was opened to the public!

2. What inspired you to create a review website of books, restaurants and movies?

There is so much to review which makes creating a critique website so interesting because I love finding new places to go and things to do but I also wanted to make a website that kids and families can visit for ideas of the latest hotspots in town or even movies and books.

3. Where do you get your ideas from?

Great question! I search around for places, sometimes I get book review requests as well as video games and iPhone applications I am offered to review. Some of it is on the spot spontaneous. I’ll explore the area and if I find a place that I like then I’ll review it. I watch the movie trailers and previews to get an idea of the newly released movies. Visiting a bookstore and just browsing is another great way but when people come up to me and ask if I will review their book, I like that because most of the books, I would never have found which makes it much more interesting.

4. Do you work alone or do you have others that help you with reviews or website content?

I work solo, the website is a one man production, I own, operate, write and control all aspects of the business including promoting and making connections.

5. What do your friends and family think of your young success?

People are amazed at my work and always wonder what I will be when I grow up. They are very proud of me and I could not have done it without their help and support. It is my site visitors, Twitter friends and my connections that help make it such a success. I love getting compliments and the great feedback from visitors.

6. You are considered the “12 Year Old Wonder Kid” on Twitter, how do you feel about that?

I love it! I feel so honored to have my own Twitter name! I like being called it.

7. What are your plans for the future?

My dream is to become the next Donald Trump, he is my idol. There is so much I want to do in life and my goal is to accomplish most of it, I do want to be a writer for a newspaper. Starting early is the best thing to do because you will have more experience.

8. Do you have other hobbies outside of technology?

Writing is my passion, I like art and am very creative. I enjoy doing business and am a great salesman! I am known for my good sales! Other than that, I am a techie! I write for our school newspaper, E-Zine and am on the Yearbook Club. I like acting too and participate in the school plays.

9. What motivates you?

I met a young adult writer for the Boston Globe, I was inspired by him and the articles that he wrote. I got to meet him and we were pen pals for a while, I liked asking him questions about his writing. I also had a tour of the Metrowest News (my local newspaper) and I was amazed by that, it was so interesting to have an insider tour of what goes on in a newsroom!
10. Do you have anything more you would like to add?

Thank you for reading and check out my website, http://kidcriticusa.com/ for reviews by a kid, for kids and families on movies, books, activities, restaurants and more. You can also follow me on Twitter at @KidCriticUSA to tweet with me!

Do you have questions for Lane? Contact him directly through his website.

There you go, my interview with the incredible Wonder Kid, also known as KidCritic and to his parents, he is simply known as Lane! Lane is going places – we all need to try to keep up with him!

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Sue Scheff: Voilence in the Media: What you need to know

This is a topic we hear about all the time. What are our kids watching? What are they listening to? Video games, movies, music - take the time to be an educated parent!

Source: Education.com

Violence in the Media: What You Need to Know

By Anna Weinstein

Finding Nemo—too violent for children under age 4?

We’ve heard of the studies—the research that shows that even some G-rated movies are inappropriate and potentially harmful to young children’s health. The research is out there, but largely ignored by parents.

Victor Strasburger, MD, noted pediatrician and author of many American Academy of Pediatrics position statements regarding children, adolescents, and the media, explains that over 2,000 studies have shown that viewing media violence is a risk factor for aggressive behavior in children. “Of all the aspects of media, parents seem most concerned about sex and drugs and least concerned about violence, and yet that’s what we know the most about,” Strasburger says. “That’s what the research has been about in the past 50 years.”

What exactly have the studies shown? Michael Rich, MD, a pediatrician and director of the Center on Media and Child Health at Children’s Hospital Boston, says media violence affects people in three basic ways. First, media desensitizes people to violence, Rich says, “and the way this plays out in kids’ lives is that they’re less likely to stick up for the kid getting picked on on the playground.” Second, media violence causes an increase in general fear and anxiety. And third, it can lead to an increase in aggressive thoughts and behaviors. “This is, in fact, the smallest effect in terms of numbers,” Rich says, “but it’s relevant even if just one kid picks up a gun and goes to school with it.”

Rich, also on the faculty at the Harvard School of Health, explains that what concerns doctors and researchers is that nobody knows who is predisposed to picking up the gun—who is most vulnerable. And this is why, Rich says, all parents should be selective in what their children watch.

“It’s always been amusing to me that we want kids to ‘just say no,’” Strasburger says, “but parents need to learn to ‘just say no,’ and they don’t know how.”
Strasburger says parents should be familiar with the concept of “ratings creep”: what used to be R-rated is now PG-13; what used to be PG-13 is now PG. The ratings have crept up over time, and parents are more and more frequently exposing their children to films that are inappropriate for their age.

Kimberly Thompson, Sc.D.,Harvard professor and director of the Kids Risk Project, explains that film producers provide information about their movies to the Rating Board, and parents have to trust that the producers have done the right thing. “The government doesn’t have any regulatory authority,” Thompson says. “It’s a really different situation than it is with food, for example.”

Rich says that censorship is not the answer, however. “What I think won’t work is legislation to restrict or censor this stuff out. The first amendment is far too important to use the blunt instrument of the law,” he says. “I think what we need to do is start to respect the media we use and understand how we are changed by them. We need to embrace that and say, ‘Let’s be changed in ways we want to be changed.’”

Read the entire article here: http://www.education.com/magazine/article/violence-media/

Follow Education.com on Twitter @Education_com

Sue Scheff: School is open, Learn about Teen Truancy

Truancy is a term used to describe any intentional unauthorized absence from compulsory schooling. Children in America today lose over five million days of their education each year through truancy. Often times they do this without the knowledge of their parents or school officials. In common usage the term typically refers to absences caused by students of their own free will, and usually does not refer to legitimate "excused" absences, such as ones related to a medical condition. It may also refer to students who attend school but do not go to classes. Because of this confusion many schools have their own definitions, and as such the exact meaning of the term itself will differ from school to school and district to district. In order to avoid or diminish confusion, many schools explicitly define the term and their particular usage thereof in the school's handbook of policies and procedures. In many instances truancy is the term referring to an absence associated with the most brazen student irresponsibility and results in the greatest consequences.

Many educators view truancy as something much more far reaching than the immediate consequence that missed schooling has on a student's education. Truancy may indicate more deeply embedded problems with the student, the education they are receiving, or both. Because of its traditional association with juvenile delinquency, truancy in some schools may result in an ineligibility to graduate or to receive credit for class attended, until the time lost to truancy is made up through a combination of detention, fines, or summer school. This can be especially troubling for a child, as failing school can lead to social impairment if the child is held back, economic impact if the child drops out or cannot continue his or her education, and emotional impact as the cycle of failure diminishes the adolescent's self-esteem.

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Sue Scheff: Teens and Cell Phone Safety

Like Internet safety, as parents today, we need to be eduated on cell phone safety and our kids. Here are some great tips from Connect Safely. Take the time to be an educated parent.

Source: Connect Safely

Though teens make little distinction between fixed and mobile socializing, we adults still do. So here are some basic ideas for safe socializing on phones as well as the Web that we hope will work for both generations.

Smart socializing. Use the same good sense about what you post from your phone as from a computer. Once they’re posted, text, photos, and video are tough to take back, can be copied and pasted elsewhere, and are up there pretty much forever. Think about the people in them (including you!). Reputations are at stake, and even more if nudity or sex is involved.

Bullying by phone. Because people socialize on cellphones as much as online, cyberbullying can be mobile too. Treat people on phones and the Web the way you would in person, and the risk of being bullied goes down.

Sexting: It’s the same on phones as on the Web – do not take, send, post or even store on your phone nude photos of anyone under 18. You could be charged with production, distribution, or possession of child pornography, a serious crime. You could also be subjected to jokes, bullying, blackmail, expulsion from school, loss of a job, etc. and the images can circulate forever.

The value of “presence.” If you do a lot of texting, consider the impact that being “elsewhere” might be having on the people around you. Your presence during meals, at parties, in the car, etc. is not only polite, it’s a sign of respect and appreciated.

Down time is good. Constant texting and talking can affect sleep, concentration, school, and other things that deserve your thought and focus. Real friends understand there are times you just need to turn off the phone – harassment can happen between midnight and morning too.

Social mapping. Most cellphones now have GPS technology and there are a growing number of services that allow friends to pinpoint each other’s physical location. If you use such a service, do so only with friends you know in person, and get to know the service’s privacy features!

Reprinted with permission from Connect Safely

Learn more at http://www.connectsafely.org

Sue Scheff: Parenting teenage girls

Parenting is challenging, parenting teenage girls can be even more complicated.
Girls seem to be need more self-confidence in order to feel acceptance among their peers. Especially some young girls that are raised without a father figure in their life. Boys can also be influenced by not having a male figure in their young lives. This article focuses on girls today, however recognizing that boys can be a challenge too.

Whether is it not being pretty enough, not thin enough, or not fitting into a cool peer group; many girls strive to belong, to fit in – to be noticed and accepted. In some cases, they are trying to fit into the wrong group and step away from who they really are. Is your daughter worrying that she hasn’t been kissed yet? Why doesn’t she have a boyfriend?

I am listing some great resources and books that I encourage parents of teenage girls to review. There is enough in our society today that compounds many issues that we didn’t have to deal with generations before. Whether it is technology or considering the HPV preventative vaccination, we as parents need to be educated. An educated parent is a prepared parent which equals a safer teen.

You'd Be So Pretty If . . .: Teaching Our Daughters to Love Their Bodies by Dara Chadwick. Dara Chadwick has written articles about tweens and teens in many magazines such as Parenting, Psychology Today, Family Circle, Newsweek, Woman’s Day just to name a few. She remains a positive role model for young girls and offers educational articles on parenting today. Follow her on Twitter @DaraChadwick

A Way Through, Female Friendship Experts. Both Jane Balvanz and Blair Wagner specialize in girls from kindergarten thru 8th grade and also for educators. It’s tough to know what to do when your daughter is being hurt by other girls, learn how to detect what your daughter needs and feelings are. Take time to explore this website and the many resources they offer. Follow them on Twitter @AWayThrough

Queen Bees & Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World by Rosalind Wiseman. When she first published Queen Bees & Wannabes, it fundamentally changed the way that adults look at girls’ friendships and conflicts. From how they choose their best friends, how they express their anger, their boundaries with boys, and their relationships with parents—Wiseman showed how girls of every background are profoundly influenced by their interactions with each other. Don’t miss her latest version coming shortly. Follow her on Twitter @RosalindWiseman

My Feet Aren't Ugly, A Girl's Guide to Loving Herself From The Inside Out. It’s a journal and handbook for teen girls. I hope it offers encouragement, fresh ideas, and insight to become satisfied and confident with who you are on your journey to adulthood. This written by author and mentor, Debra Beck. Her website is absolutely delightful and encouraging. Follow her on Twitter @DebraBeck

The Curse of the Good Girl, Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence by Rachel Simmons. This book is an essential guide to contemporary girl culture and a call to arms from a new front in female empowerment. Follow Rachel on Twitter @RachelJSimmons

There are many more terrific resources and books for parenting today. This is a good start and hopefully motivates you to take the first steps in getting to know your daughter better. Parenting is not easy, however being equipped with knowledge gives you the tools you need to be a better parent.

For more info: Parents Universal Resource Experts, Department of Health and Human Services, Dove's Tip Sheet for Teen Girls.

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Sue Scheff: School Starts and so does bullying

LOVE OUR CHILDREN USA’s Campaign to STOMP Out Bullying

NEW YORK, August 24, 2009 Love Our Children USA announced today that bullying and teasing is at the top of kids’ issues at schools, and with school set to open in soon, parents, teachers and school administrators must take caution and sensitivity in handling these issues.
Childhood should be a time filled with wonder and joy, but the reality for many kids and teens is often much different. They're the victims of bullying and cyber-bullying at school or on neighborhood playgrounds.

October 4 – 10th is National Bullying Prevention Awareness Week. To observe the week, Love Our Children USA will speak at various schools about bullying, cyberbullying and preventing it. To signify the importance of the week, Love Our Children USA created National Blue Shirt Day. Specifically on Monday, October 5th, the organization is asking kids, teens and adults to participate in national BLUE SHIRT DAY by wearing a blue shirt to STOMP Out Bullying.
They chose blue because in many diverse cultures blue brings peace. The color conveys importance and confidence.

On Monday, October 5th, Americans across the country will wear blue shirts as they make their way to school or to the office as a grassroots national campaign to STOMP Out Bullying.
Participation is expected from major cities and proclamations from leading politicians and civic leaders. This day will be supported with a national media campaign. Last October, the organization created STOMP Out Bullying. To date over 48,000 people have committed to STOMP Out Bullying.

Kids who are intimidated, threatened, or harmed by bullies often experience low self-esteem and depression, whereas those doing the bullying may go on to engage in more serious antisocial behaviors. Some kids are so traumatized by being bullied, that they contemplate suicide. Bullies often have been the victims of bullying or other mistreatment themselves.

Ross Ellis, Love Our Children USA Founder and Chief Executive Officer remembers only too well what it is like to be bullied. Today it’s a regular occurrence in schools starting as early as kindergarten. It’s not a right of passage as some may think. It’s a crisis. And many kids have committed suicide because the taunting was so torturous.

Bullying can be so painful and clearly has played a role in recent school shootings across the country. While boys are more physical, girls use weapons, exclusion, slander, rumors and gossip. And beware of cyberbullying which is on the rise. This social online cruelty is used in the forms of e-mail, cell phone; pager text messages, instant messaging, defamatory personal Web sites, and defamatory online personal polling Web sites, deliberate, repeated, and hostile behavior, and is used by an individual or group -- intended to harm others – especially amongst our youth. While most kids use the Internet for friendly interactions, more and more kids are using these communication tools to antagonize, terrorize and intimidate others.

Ellis said “parents must keep open communication with their children. Look for signs. And school administrators can no longer sweep the issue under the rug. Students should be educated about the harmful effects of bullying. Many schools are sweeping the issue under the rug. Every school should declare No Bullying Policy and enforce it.”

Ross Ellis suggests that schools set up a web site where kids can anonymously report the person who is bullying them. That way victims can feel safe in making the report and the school can deal with the bully.

Recent Statistics Show:

• 1 out of 4 kids is Bullied.

• 1 out of 5 kids admits to being a bully, or doing some "Bullying."

• 8% of students miss 1 day of class per month for fear of Bullies.

• 43% fear harassment in the bathroom at school.

• 100,000 students carry a gun to school.

• 28% of youths who carry weapons have witnessed violence at home.

• A poll of teens ages 12-17 proved that they think violence increased at their schools.

• 282,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools each month.

• More youth violence occurs on school grounds as opposed to on the way to school.

• 80% of the time, an argument with a bully will end up in a physical fight.

• 1/3 of students surveyed said they heard another student threaten to kill someone.

• 1 out of 5 teens knows someone who brings a gun to school.

• 2 out of 3 say they know how to make a bomb, or know where to get the information to do it.

• Almost half of all students say they know another student who's capable of murder.

• Playground statistics - Every 7 minutes a child is bullied. Adult intervention -4% Peer intervention - 11%. No intervention - 85%.

Ellis said “helping your children cope with either being a bully or being a victim often requires outside assistance, such as from your child's school or the community. School is the most likely place for bullying to occur, so discuss your concerns with your child's teachers and counselor and ask what they can do to help. School personnel can be influential in helping a child modify his behavior. Take advantage of any psychological counseling services that may be offered at your child's school or in your community.”

Bullying is a form of child abuse and bullies are very likely to grow up as an adult who abuses children.More information about bullying and how to help your children and students can be found athttp://www.stompoutbullying.org/

About Love Our Children USA

Since 1999, Love Our Children USA has paved the way as the national nonprofit leader that honors, respects and protects children. Its mission is to break the cycle of violence against children. Love Our Children USA has become ‘the go-to’ prevention organization for all forms of violence and neglect against children in the U.S. It works to eliminate behaviors that keep children from reaching their potential. It redefines parenting and creates kid success by promoting prevention strategies and positive changes in parenting and family attitudes and behaviors through public education. It works to empower and support children, teens, parents and families through information, resources, advocacy, and online youth mentoring. Its goal is to keep children safe and strengthen families -- Its message is positive ... one of prevention and hope.

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Contact: Media Relations

Love Our Children USA

1.888.347.KIDS (5437) / 212.629.2099