Saturday, January 21, 2012

Are You Raising Strong Children or Broken Adults?

Guest post by Parent Expert, Aurelia Williams:

Fredrick Douglas once said “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.“   I don’t think that there is a caring mother out there that doesn’t want to see her child grow up to be a strong adult.  Throughout childhood, there are many circumstances that arise that can either build the child up or tear him down. Over the years and throughout these circumstances, your child can either grow into an assertive, strong adult or an adult that is timid, broken and weak.

The world is filled with many influences that will be presented to your child that you will have little or no control over and those influences can affect your child.  Children develop attitudes toward themselves and others as a direct response to the words, actions and the beliefs that people communicate to them.  What do your words and beliefs say to your child?    If you want your child to grow up to be strong, secure adult, you must give him a firm foundation.

As a mom, it’s perfectly natural to want to stand up for and protect your child, but there are ways that this can go too far.   Many moms don’t want to see their child struggle with problems or fight battles with their peers, so those moms take it upon themselves to fight their children’s battles for them.  While they may think that they are helping their child, they are actually crippling them and making them weaker in the long run.    If moms keep jumping in to fight their kids battles, their children will grow up to be broken, weak adults.
It is important to know when and how to step up to or away from battles that our children face.

It is the parents’ job to assist children as they navigate through all the twists and turns that life is filled with.  That means we must teach them how to handle problems and they must practice what we teach.

Here are a few steps you can take to raise strong children:

Set a great example – Children will copy you. Just as sure as a child can act out or repeat all of the negative things parents do, they will do the same with the positive things as well. If you want your child to be strong and assertive, be sure that you stand up for your beliefs and views, even if it means going against the grain a bit.
Positive Words and Praise – Positive words go a long way.  Be sure to let your child know that you value people who speak their mind respectfully.  Praise your child when you witness them exhibiting strong, respectful behavior.  This works wonders to boost up their confidence.
Don’t Sugar Coat - Be honest with your child about the difficult issues they may face!  Break things down to your child’s level so that they understand the hard issues.  Talk openly to your child about the possible battles they may face.  When it comes to the issue of peer pressure, help them to come up with ways to combat it.  Use real life examples and role play in order to get the point across.
This issue of supplying our children with the tools that they need to be assertive, well adjusted and confident is important.  The end result is that if you don’t learn when and how to step back, your child will not be prepared for the bigger issues that he or she will face as they grow up.

Aurelia Williams
About the author:
Aurelia Williams, owner of  Parenting My Teen has organized a totally free coaching class where she will share strategies with you that will help you know when and how to step into or step back from the battles your kids face.  It is totally free and is chock full of useful information that you can use immediately!  Sign up and perhaps there will be just one less weak, broken adult in the world because of it.