Back to School: Teenagers Driving to School

A special guest post by Safe Teen Driving Club as school is opening throughout the country.

Vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death and injury among 15- to 20-year olds.
Will your teen be driving to school this year?

Do You Know the Facts?

• 16-year-old teens have higher crash rates than drivers of any other age.
• They are three times more likely to die in a motor vehicle crash than the average of all drivers.
• In 2008 some 2,739 drivers between the ages of 15 and 20 died in motor vehicle crashes.
• About 2 out of every 3 teenagers killed in motor vehicle crashes in 2008 were males (IIHS).
• Drivers ages 15-20 accounted for 12% of all drivers involved in fatal crashes in 2008 and 14% of all drivers involved in police-reported crashes.
• 63% of teenage passenger deaths occurred in vehicles driven by another teenager.
• Among deaths of passengers of all ages, 19% occurred when a teenager was driving (IIHS).
• 58 percent of teen drivers crash the car in their first year of driving; over 80 percent in the first three years, according to the National Safety Council.
• The majority (58%) of young people 16 to 20 years old involved in fatal motor vehicle crashes were unbuckled.  (Ref.: NHTSA)
• The leading Risk Factors are:

-Fatigue
-Driving after dark
-Inexperience, age
-Driver Distraction – iPod, Cell Phone, Radio, Other Passengers
-Failure to buckle up
-Drugs, Alcohol

Teens who get less than eight hours of sleep per night are twice as likely to say they have fallen asleep at the wheel (20 percent) than teens who report getting eight or more hours of sleep per night (10 percent). A national survey of 3,580 students in grades 10-12 found that 36 percent of teens often drive when drowsy to school in the morning.

Ref: Liberty Mutual Insurance and SADD (Students Against Destructive Decisions).

Driving between 9PM and 6AM triples the risk of a fatal crash for 16-year-old drivers, a 2003 IIHS report showed. A NC study found “the majority of 16 and 17 year-old drivers' nighttime crashes (nearly 80 percent) occur between 9 p.m. and midnight.”

(Ref: Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (www.iihs.org)

What To Do? Get Engaged!

• Parental involvement is a key contributor to safe driving behavior. Establish clear family  rules for driving.
• Work with your teens to get more sleep
• Consider putting them on the bus or driving them to school - even if it is not cool!
• Vehicle monitoring and reporting has dramatic impact on reducing accident rates – proven in the commercial arena for years.
• Establishing driving agreements contributes to reduced fatalities (when enforced.)
• Parents need to enforce Graduated Driver Licensing laws rather than relying on law enforcement.
• Discussion, awareness and training for teens and parents are key

Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens.
Join me on Facebook  and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today's teenagers.

Visit Safe Driving Club today for more valuable information.

Join me on Facebook  and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today's teenagers.

Class Learning verses Online Classes: What Fits Your Teenager?

As technology continues to influence and change our way of living, parents are now faced with the consideration of allowing their teenagers to prepare for or begin college through online courses for credit. During the past five years or so, a great deal of development in this area has been taking place, all with the backing of the U.S. Department of Education. There are, however, a number of pros and cons when it comes to this modern method of study, and launching young adults out into the world is a heavy responsibility. Most parents want to get through the process with no regrets, so it is wise to take the time to determine if online classes would actually be a good fit for your teenager.


Let’s face it: not all kids and family situations are alike. What works well for some may spell disaster for others. With the growing number of options available in educating our children, this should certainly be considered from more than one perspective. Whether you’ve sent your son or daughter through public or private school, or even educated them at home, the subject of entry-level online college courses is very likely to come up at some point before or after high school graduation.

Considering all the angles when it comes to online education may mean doing some personal research and evaluation. Web-based education has some fantastic benefits, but there are additionally some serious drawbacks. Allowing a teen to stay home in front of a computer for extended periods of time could possibly have health or psychological disadvantages. Parents needs to assess things such as the physical condition and mental health of their children. Some parents may also wonder if they actually want to encourage more screen time in a lifestyle already loaded with digital activity. On the flipside, there are cases where studying online may be a hindrance to teens with more outgoing personalities, leading to a sense of isolation, or at minimum feeling somewhat separated from other people. Those are the students that truly need to have face-to-face interaction with others and will learn better in that environment.

Another big consideration ought to be the student’s learning and communication style. Teens whose learning styles lean more toward the auditory than visual or who are more kinetic learners may do better in the usual face-to-face classroom setting than sitting in front of a laptop screen loaded heavily with text. If this seems like a big mystery, it may be sensible and wise to consult a professional for some input or learning style testing just to be sure. Some community colleges even offer this sort of help in their student services departments.

It isn’t uncommon for older teenagers to take a gap year before starting a rigorous academic program, and in fact it’s becoming something of a trend. While some use the gap year for travel and a complete break from school, others may combine a few courses of study with travel opportunities. Still other students simply need a time to gear up gradually, or do some soul-searching and exploration of ideas before making the big break from home. Online courses may fit in well with any of these situations. Students might find that studying via the Internet before leaving home is a safe way to make decisions while still living under their parents’ roof. This can also be a time to test the waters, get a better feel for the responsibilities of college, and the demands and workload involved with being a more advanced, full-time student.

Some high school students engage in programs that allow for dual credit. This option not only provides credit toward high school graduation, but gives students a head start in college. If saving money is a big issue for parents and their kids, encouraging an early start with online courses could save thousands of dollars. Programs are popping up both on the Internet and through local community and state colleges, and there will be more in time. So whether high school students go for dual credit or want to have a gentle start to their college careers, big savings can be realized through taking courses online.

Taking advantage of online college courses is a viable option for many families, but it is understandably not everyone’s cup of tea. Parents should definitely weigh it all out before allowing or encouraging their teens to sign up for this route. One way or another, online college courses are here to stay as we move more and more into an electronic society.

Join me on Facebook  and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today's teenagers.

Teen Girl Self-Esteem: After School and Your Daughter

Yes, schools are opening throughout our country and another academic year with the normal peer pressure and stress of being a teenager.

What are you doing after school? Many girls will be hitting a transitional point in their lives in a few weeks. Some will attend new schools, some will be away from home for the first time and others could be leaving their summer loves….

Although women have made gains in education and employment in the equal rights war, they’re still losing the self-esteem war. Girls’ self-esteem peaks when they are about 9 years old, and then takes a nosedive. Although the media, peers, and pop culture influence children, parents still hold more sway than they think when it comes to having an impact on a daughter’s developing self-esteem.

Girls are faced with an onslaught of influences daily- most of them not the ones we’d like. In fact, a national survey of girls’ use of social media released by Girl Scouts of the USA (Who’s That Girl: Self Image in the 21st Century, 2010) finds that girls with low self-esteem are more likely to be susceptible to negative experiences on social networking sites than are girls with high self-esteem.

As parents and mentors, we want to help our daughters develop a strong sense of self, learn about the benefits of a balanced diet and physical activity, develop healthy relationships, promote confidence and well-being among While having fun.

Wondering how to enhance your daughter’s school year? The Girl Scouts’ flourishing new leadership program Journeys is at the core of the nearly 100-year-old organization’s transformation and a key benefit of this latest offering is building a strong sense of self. Building self-esteem does not happen overnight, but research shows that one way to accomplish this is through the development of leadership skills and competencies.

For more information go to www.girscouts.org!

*****************************************************
Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today’s teenagers.

TEEN HELP: Who Do You Trust for Helping Your Teenager?

At any given moment, a parent in need of help with their child can make some very rash and costly mistakes.

Ask yourself these questions:

1. Do you feel that you are at your wits end?
2. Do you feel you or your family is in danger?
3. Do you feel like something needs to be done now?
4. Do you feel out of control with your child’s actions?
5. Do you feel out of control with yourself?
6. Do you feel hopeless and no one will understand?
7. Do you feel completely alone in dealing with this child?
8. Do you feel you lack the capability to make the right decision?
9. Do you feel your child is running your life and the household?
10. Do you feel Desperate?

The feelings of desperation are very real and very painful, however it is not the time to make rash decisions. In most cases, the dysfunction has taken months if not years, to come to pass. It will not be resolved in an instant decision to “send your child away” the quickest and easiest way. This is the most important time to stop, think, research, evaluate and conclude what is best for your child and family.

If you have answered yes to any of the above questions, it is time to reflect and begin planning your alternatives. It is not time to make any decisions. We feel that if you are working with a Psychologist, Therapist or Doctor, they should always be consulted first. Once it is determined residential treatment is needed, it is time for your research to start.

Information and resources will be a valuable asset. When calling the schools and programs, be sure they are looking for your child’s best interest. Any program that is quick to enroll your child is not in your best interest. Always keep notes, and document every conversation.  When contacting a program; does the Admissions Director ask you questions about your child or do the go directly into how their program can help them? How do they know they can help, if they haven’t taken the time to listen to your child’s needs?
As a parent, your heart and gut will tell you when you have found the right placement for your child. Again, the advice of a Professional (i.e. Doctor) is always beneficial, but not always the end result. Most Doctor’s are not familiar with the many residential treatments centers throughout the country, but can give you advice as to what your child’s needs are.

In some cases urgency is needed. Especially with some legal matters, however many can go into a local Adolescent Psychiatric Hospital for 2-3 days (usually insurance paid) until you can do your homework. Make the most of the 24-36 hours with your research. This can buy you time to find the most appropriate placement for your child.

When your search starts, use caution to a desperate sales person. Many Admissions Personnel are paid per enrollment. Although everyone is entitled to make a living, when it comes to your child, there should be a division.  It is more beneficial to speak with a program owner, Director or therapist at the facility.  These people are usually not sales people and want their program to succeed.  They will screen their potential students to be sure they are a fit for their program.

Parents’ Universal Resource Experts does not engage with  admissions and/or enrollments. We always encourage parents to contact the programs directly to determine if the program is appropriate for your child’s needs.  We do, however help educated you in this “big business” of teen help.

Join us on Facebook and Twitter.

Teens Getting Tattoos: Know the Risks

Between piercings and tattoos, parents are finding themselves facing another issue to discuss with their teens.  What do you do when your teens wants a tattoo or a piercing in a less than desirable area?

Tattoos are permanent, so spur of the moment decisions to get a tattoo are never a good idea. Even when the decision has been made for quite some time, there may still be good reasons to reconsider.
Here are ten of the ways that people use to try and convince someone not to get a tattoo.

1. Pain – There is pain involved in getting a tattoo. How much pain will depend on where it is located on the body, the size of the tattoo and the pain tolerance level of the person receiving the tattoo. If the person has a low pain tolerance, emphasizing the pain involved in the process, and the time needed to complete the tattoo can sometimes be enough to get them to change their mind.
2. Cost – Tattoos are not inexpensive, especially at the best shops. In addition, the cost of having one removed if you should change your mind about it in the future will be even more costly. Is a little bit of colored skin really worth that much money?
3. Social impact – Not everyone has an appreciation for the art of tattooing. Your tattoo may negatively impact future relationships, both personal and in the employment/business arena. The cost of that is impossible to gauge.
4. Bad results – What if it doesn’t turn out looking like you expected it too? Not everyone is happy with the results they receive from a tattoo artist. It doesn’t grow out like a bad haircut.
5. Personality changes – What is appealing to you now may not be in 5, 10 or 20 years. Everyone’s personality continues to evolve with their life experience and level of maturity. What you will be like in the future is impossible to predict.
6. Lifestyle changes – A tattoo may fit perfectly with your current lifestyle, but just as with personality, lifestyles change. Having to deal with trying to cover or explain the ‘fashion’ of your past could be something you’d rather avoid.
7. Body changes – Ten years could mean adding or losing twenty pounds or more. With those changes in weight, the look of a tattoo is going to change too, in a negative way.
8. Infection – In spite of precautions, infections do still occur. That can mean medical costs and disfigurement of the tattoo. Do you really want to risk that?
9. Disease – It is possible to transfer incurable diseases like Hepatitis C with tattoo needles. You’re trusting in the word of your tattooist that the needles are sterile. In addition, tattoo ink is not regulated by the FDA. You have no idea what might be in that stuff that is going into your skin.
10. Aged tattoos – Show them some pictures of people who have carried their tattoos on their body for a lifetime that are no longer colorful or appealing on their 70-80 year old bodies. Is that what they want to look like when they’re a grandparent?

In reality, you may not be able to convince a person not to get a tattoo with these arguments, but they should at least encourage them to think it through more carefully. It is their body and their life, but often times tattoos done in youthful years are regretted later on in life. Sometimes convincing them to simply wait a few years will be more effective than trying to convince them not to get a tattoo at all.

Source:  Best Dating Sites

Tattoo laws for teens under 18 vary from state to state, and in some cases even from city to city.  According to Florida Tatto Laws:

(3) No body of a minor shall be

Be an educated parent, you will have healthier teens.

Addiction: Dangerous and Deadly - Don't Ignore Substance Signs with your Teen

Amy Winehouse, dies at 27 years old.

The tragic loss of Amy Winehouse has robbed us of a young, if fatally troubled, life cut down in its prime. It has also cheated music of a talent, at 27, whose best years surely still lay ahead.

For the past few years, it often seemed to be a question of when, not if, her drug and alcohol addictions would push her body beyond its limits. Her fans willed her to beat her demons and get well, but in the end, the demons won.

What demons are we speaking about?  No, not Satan, but substance abuse.

Many parents will overlook their teen only smoking pot, or just drinking alittle, but in reality your denial is only harming your teenager.

Before becoming an addict, it start with just a joint - maybe just a shot of vodka, but where it ends up, no one knows.

Let this tragedy be a time to open the door to communication with your teen.  Talk about the dangers of drug use, drinking and other negative behaviors.

Tips to help prevent teen substance abuse:

1.     Communication is the key to prevention.  Whenever an opportunity arises about the risks of drinking and driving or the dangers of using drugs,  take it to start a conversation.
2.     Have a conversation not a confrontation.  If you suspect your teen is using drugs, talk to them.  Don't judge them, talk to them about the facts of the dangers of substance abuse.  If your teen isn't opening up to you, be sure you find an adolescent therapist that can help.
3.     Addict in the family?  Do you have an addict in your family?  Sadly many families have been effected by someone that has allowed drugs to take over their lives.  With this, it is a reminder to your teen that you want them to have bright future filled with happiness.  The last thing you want for them is to end up like ____.
4.     Don't be a parent in denial.  There is no teenager that is immune to drug abuse.  No matter how smart your teen is, or athletic they are, they are at risk if they start using.  I firmly believe that keeping  your teen constructively busy, whether it is with sports, music or other hobbies they have, you will be less at risk for them to want to experiment.  However don't be in the dark thinking that your teen is pulling a 4.0 GPA and on the varsity football that they couldn't be dragged down by peer pressure.  Go back to number one - talk, talk, talk - remind your teen how proud you are of them, and let them know that you are always available if they feel they are being pressured to do or try something they don't want to.
5.     Do you know what your teen is saying?  Listen or watch on texts or emails for code words for certain drug lingo. Skittling, Tussing, Skittles, Robo-tripping, Red Devils, Velvet, Triple C, C-C-C-, Robotard are some of the names kids use for cough and cold medication abuse.  Weed, Pot, Ganja, Mary Jane, Grass, Chronic, Buds, Blunt, Hootch, Jive stick, Ace, Spliff, Skunk, Smoke, Dubie, Flower, Zig Zag are all slang for marijuana.
6.     Leftovers.  Are there empty medicine wrappers or bottles, burn marks on their clothes or rug, ashes, stench, etc in their room or if they own a car, in their car? Teens (and tweens) either take several pills or smash them so all of it is released at once.  Be sure to check all pockets, garbage cans, cars, closets, under beds, etc. for empty wrappers and other evidence of drug use.  Where are your prescription drugs?  Have you counted them lately?
7.     Body language. Tune into changes in your teen’s behavior. Changing peer groups, altering their physical appearance and/or lack of hygiene, eating or sleeping patterns changing, hostile and uncooperative attitude (defiance), missing money or other valuables from the home, sneaking out of the house, etc.
8.     Access to alcohol.  Look around your home, is there liquor that is easily accessible?  Teens admit getting alcohol is easy-and the easiest place to get it is in their home.  Know what you have in the house and if you suspect your teen is drinking, lock it up!  Talk to them about the risks of drinking, especially if they are driving. 
9.     Seal the deal.  Have your teen sign a contract to never drink and drive. Students Against Drunk Driving (SADD) www.saddonline.comprovides a free online contract to download. It may help them pause just the second they need to not get behind that wheel.
10.  Set the example, be the example.  What many parents don't realize is that you are the leading role model for your teen.  If your teen sees you smoking or drinking frequently, what is the message you are sending?  Many parents will have a glass of wine or other alcoholic beverage, however the teen needs to understand you are the adult, and there is a reason that the legal drinking age is 21.

Do you have a teen that you suspect is using drugs?  Have you exhausted all your local resources?

Don't be a parent in denial!

Take the time to learn about residential therapy, visit www.HelpYourTeens.com.  Each teen and family are unique, there are many teen help programs, knowing how to locate the one best for you can be a challenge, however Parents' Universal Resource Experts, can help, starting with a free consultation.

Many prayers and thoughts to the family and friends of Amy Winehouse.

Teen Secret: Do You Know Where Your Teens Goes Virtually?

Be in the know!

Kids and especially teens are notorious for keeping secrets from their parents, and in today’s world of technology they have a whole new world of ways to keep secrets.

Since kids are also incredibly adept at learning and using modern technology and the following list may help you keep better track of what your child may be hiding.

1. Surfing the Internet: Today, kids have almost unlimited access to computers, and now computers are small enough to carry, enabling access to the internet literally anywhere. This gives kids easy access to sites parents may disapprove of, not to mention “adult only” sites that only ask the user to click a link stating they are over 18 years of age. That’s an easy button to click if you want to keep secrets from parents. Close monitoring of your child’s computer history, password protection and parental blocks can keep your child away from inappropriate sites.
2. Downloads: Kids love to download- anything they can: pictures, jokes, videos, etc. These downloads may be putting your computer at risk for viruses that could cause permanent damage. Parents need to know the source of any download and that it is safe, as well as keeping up-to-date antivirus protection on all computers.
3. Music Downloads: What kind of music are your kids downloading and listening to? Even if the site is safe, the music might not be. Listen to the music downloads. If you are not able to understand the lyrics of the songs, you may want to check them out. You can find an internet music site that has song lyrics available to read. Be careful, though, if you do not allow your child to download certain titles, he/she will probably change the file name of the prohibited song to something allowable.
4. Uploads: Kids are not very discerning when it comes to what others should or should not know about themselves, and their families. Find out what sorts of pictures, text and other files your child might be sharing on social networking sites or shared folders.
5. Games: What games are your kids playing? Playstation, X-box, computer games, both individual and interactive-online are filled with violence and “adult” themes. Monitor the games your child buys or rents; most are labeled with age guidelines and parental notices. Also, monitor your child’s history with online games. Install a computer block that allows access to only approved sites.
6. Friends: Kids have many friends. Some of them, they don’t even know. Facebook and other online social networking sites make it easy for children to fall prey to predatory abusers disguised as “friends.” If your child has a Facebook or other social networking accounts, make sure that you know their username and password, and check in on their activity once in awhile.
7. Cell phone use: How much time your kids spend on the phone, when they are calling and who they are calling are important to know. Read the itemized portion of your bill each month to double check, and if there is a number you don’t recognize or don’t want your child accessing, have it blocked through your service carrier.
8. Texting: With unlimited texting capabilities on cell phone plans, your kids can text anyone at any time, day or night. Parents need to know who they are texting and the language they are both reading and using while they are texting.
9. Abbreviations: LOL, and CUL maybe be familiar “social” abbreviations, and ROLOFLMHO may be used by your kids without any qualms, but ROLOFLMAO might be offensive to some parents. Do you know the difference? Also, new abbreviations are added to the lexicon of technical communication on a daily basis. As a parent you need to be familiar with abbreviations so as to know what your kids are saying. You can check the internet for sites that list abbreviations and meanings.
10. Plagiarism and cheating: That kids are able to access information which expedites learning in ways never before thought of, is a wonderful outcome of technology today. That kids can also use this information to cheat in ways never before thought of, isn’t.

Kids will be kids, and they will try to “get away” with anything they can; this will never change. But the world of technology changes every day, and if parents remain technologically savvy, kids will have to work very hard to continue keeping those secrets.

Source: Internet Providers

Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens.

Why do Teens Steal and Shoplift?

As we are in the summer months, more teens are hanging at the malls.  I get an increase in calls of teens being arrested for stealing and/or shoplifting.  Why are they doing this, especially if they have the money to pay for it?


Too Young To Start

There are almost as many reasons teens steal as there are things for teens to steal. One of the biggest reasons teens steal is peer pressure. Often, teens will steal items as a means of proving’ that they are “cool enough” to hang out with a certain group. This is especially dangerous because if your teen can be convinced to break the law for petty theft, there is a strong possibility he or she can be convinced to try other, more dangerous behaviors, like drinking or drugs. It is because of this that it is imperative you correct this behavior before it escalates to something beyond your control.
Another common reason teens steal is because they want an item their peers have but they cannot afford to purchase. Teens are very peer influenced, and may feel that if they don’t have the ‘it’ sneakers or mp3 player, they’ll be considered less cool than the kids who do. If your teen cannot afford these items, they may be so desperate to fit in that they simply steal the item. They may also steal money from you or a sibling to buy such an item. If you notice your teen has new electronics or accessories that you know you did not buy them, and your teen does not have a job or source of money, you may want to address whereabouts they came up with these items.

Teens may also steal simply for a thrill. Teens who steal for the ‘rush’ or the adrenaline boost are often simply bored and/ or testing the limits of authority. They may not even need or want the item they’re stealing! In cases like these, teens can act alone or as part of a group. Often, friends accompanying teens who shoplift will act as a ‘lookout’ for their friend who is committing the theft. Unfortunately, even if the lookout doesn’t actually steal anything, the can be prosecuted right along with the actual teen committing the crime, so its important that you make sure your teen is not aiding his or her friends who are shoplifting.

Yet another reason teens steal is for attention. If your teen feels neglected at home, or is jealous of the attention a sibling is getting, he or she may steal in the hopes that he or she is caught and the focus of your attention is diverted to them. If you suspect your teen is stealing or acting out to gain your attention, it is important that you address the problem before it garners more than just your attention, and becomes part of their criminal record. Though unconventional, this is your teen’s way of asking for your help- don’t let them down!

Need help?  Visit www.HelpYourTeens.com and join us on Facebook.