Sue Scheff: Sexual Abuse Thrives on Secrecy and Shame

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Although this is a sensitive and difficult topic to talk about, it is a necessary discussion to have. Education is key to prevention.

The Florida Council Against Sexual Violence (FCASV) is a statewide nonprofit organization committed to victims and survivors of sexual violence and the sexual assault crisis programs who serve them.

FCASV serves as a resource to the state on sexual violence issues. Each year they host a statewide conference and many trainings, bringing state-of-the-art information from around the nation to Florida. FCASV provide technical assistance to agencies seeking to improve their services for rape victims, and provide up-to-date information to the public. By using the toll free information line, callers can access information from their resource library or from their network of national resources. FCASV provides information, assistance and leadership on all aspects of sexual violence, including rape, child abuse, stalking and sexual harassment.


Sexual Violence affects every aspect of a person's life-her/his body, emotions, thoughts, behaviors, spirituality and relationships with others and the outside world. This is true whether it is acquaintance rape, stranger rape, date rape, child sexual abuse or marital rape.

During this month of awareness, make it a priority to talk to your kids about prevention and awareness.

In Florida there are support services available. Click here. The Rape Crisis Hotline is 1-888-956-RAPE (7273).

Be an educated parent, you will have safer and healthier teens. Read more.

Sue Scheff: Teens, Kids and Emotional Overeating

As parents/adults many people experience that gallon of ice cream when a stressful situation is looming in your life. When feelings of sadness or hopelessness overcomes them, some people simple turn to food. It is no different for children, however we as parents need to recognize the signs and talk to our kids about it. Read this recent article from Connect with Kids about Emotional Overeating and your children.

Source: Connect with Kids

Emotional Overeating

“They’d make fun of me because I was getting overweight, and I’d come home and I’d feel bad so I’d eat. The next day they’d make fun of me again, and I’d come home and I’d eat.”

– Cheyanne Fowler, 13

Thirteen-year-old Cheyanne began hiding food three years ago.

“I’d stick it under my bed,” she says. “Or, I’d get a pack of gummies and I’d save the wrapper and, you know, stick it in a drawer or something, hoping my mom wouldn’t find it.”

Hiding the food didn’t work, though.

“I would find wrappers in her room,” says her mom, Debbie. “I would find plates with food, like the crust off of toast; things like that hidden under the bed.”

And then Cheyanne started having trouble at school.

“They’d make fun of me because I was getting overweight,” she says. “And I’d come home and I’d feel bad, so I’d eat. The next day they’d make fun of me again, and I’d come home and I’d eat.”

She says she was using food to ease the pain. Only at the time, she didn’t know it.

“I didn’t notice how I was feeling,” says Cheyanne. “I guess I thought I was hungry. But now, I know that I wasn’t, that I was either upset or I was angry.”

Cheyanne started seeing Dr. Genie Burnett, a psychologist.

“We do one of two things with our feelings,” says Burnett. Either we talk them out or we act them out. Sometimes acting them out involves taking in food.”

Burnett asked Cheyanne to keep a food journal. Every time Cheyanne ate something, she would write down how she felt.

“Basically, what I’m trying to do is help them link what is going on in their mind with what is going on in their belly,” says Burnett.

“I guess we started talking about my feelings,” says Cheyanne, “and then I’d say, ‘Well, I’m hungry’ or I’d have, like, a candy bar. … And if we were talking about something that I didn’t feel all that great about talking about, … I’d start eating the candy bar.”

Cheyanne had to interrupt her pattern of feeling bad and then eating to compensate, says Burnett.

“Before you go to dinner, before you go to breakfast, before you do whatever,” she adds, “if you feel like bingeing, sit down and write down what you are thinking and what you are feeling.”

“I would either talk to my mom or something because we are really close and I tell her just about everything,” says Cheyanne. “Or, I’d talk to a friend, or I would just go up in my room and just sit a while and wait till I’m not feeling so bad and try to stay away from the kitchen.”

Tips for Parents

•According to the American Dietetic Association, most people don’t even recognize they are engaging in emotional eating until they’ve gained a lot of weight. Parents should learn to recognize the warning signs – being overweight, having a history of weight fluctuations, eating alone, hoarding food, eating rapidly, eating until uncomfortably full, and having feelings of guilt or depression after eating.
•Experts say encouraging kids to express their feelings can lower a child’s need to binge. Have younger kids draw pictures of how they are feeling. Afterwards, discuss the drawings.
•When older children feel the need to binge, distractions may help. The American Dietetic Association suggests finding other things to do, for example, walking, riding a bike or playing with the dog.
•Keep the kitchen stocked with plenty of fruits and vegetables. If children feel like bingeing, encourage them to have a small, healthy snack instead.

References
•http://www.vpul.upenn.edu/ohe/library/bodyimage/compulsive.htm
•http://www.oa.org/is_oa.html
•http://www.fns.usda.gov/tn/Resources/POC_topic9.pdf

Sue Scheff: Inspiring Teens Through Food Revolution

There is no denying it, Jamie Oliver is hitting the United States and making a statement. His desire to create healthy eating for children is commendable, however his passion to inspire at-risk teens is sensational! Building a teens self esteem, whether through sports, cooking, volunteering, jobs, youth groups and more, is the path to helping them make better choices in their lives.

Peer pressure can be one of the most difficult situation to deal with for teenagers today. When your teen has a focus, a drive and a passion for their interest (whether it is tennis, chess, dance, cooking, swimming, etc) chances are very good they will stay on track to create their positive future.

In a recent episode of Food Revolution, Jamie employed the assistant of several high school teens: Brittany, whose lifelong weight problem has caused irreversible liver damage and shortened her life expectancy; Marisa, whose father died prematurely as a result of obesity; Ryan, a troubled teen who wants to get his life back in order by learning a new skill; Robert, a football player who struggles with his weight; Brian, whose family is plagued by obesity; and Emily, whose dream is to attend culinary school.

Jamie Oliver then shocks the teens by asking the kids to secretly prepare a gourmet meal for the state senator, local legislators and community leaders in order to raise necessary funds to train the school staff to cook fresh food. The results were amazing!

All of these teens were inspired and changed, their comments brought tears to your eyes. Ryan, who is plagued by issues with the law, had been in facilities for troubled teens, commented that Jamie Oliver's program has changed him. Watch the full episode here.

Must watch video and read more - click here.

Sue Scheff: April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month - Learn About Lauren's Kids

Being a parent of teens today consists of many challenges and obstacles. Talking to our teens about anything can be a struggle, however it is critical to your child's well-being that you communicate with them about sexual assault, violence and rape. Talking about it can help prevent it!

Sexual Assault Awareness Month  is about educating students and others about preventing sexual abuse. The month of April has been designated Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM). The goal of SAAM is to raise public awareness about sexual violence (focusing on sexual assault and rape) and to educate communities and individuals on how to prevent sexual violence.

In South Florida, beginning April 2nd, 2010, Lauren Book-Lim, abuse survivor and founder of Lauren's Kids, will lead a 500-mile walk across Florida -from Aventura to the state capitol in Tallahassee - to raise awareness for Sexual Abuse Awareness Month.

"This 500-mile walk symbolizes a survivor's long, painful healing journey to shed the shame - a journey that requires love, support and understanding from family, friends and trained professionals."

For more information, visit Lauren's Kids Walk In My Shoes. Join Lauren's Kid's Facebook Group for updated information and follow her on Twitter.

Lauren's mission is:

"Lauren's Kids"is the creation of child abuse victim, survivor and Elementary school teacher Lauren Book. The organization will help educate adults and children about sexual predators. Educational seminars and workshops will help create more awareness of sexual abuse laws, offer legal counsel and provide guidance on how and where to file complaints. The initial goal of "Lauren's Kids" will be to provide round-the-clock counseling and guidance for victims through a toll free phone number. The ultimate goal will be to create a Crisis Center for Children and their Families coping with the aftermath of sexual abuse.


We applaud and commend Lauren for her dedication and strength to take a horrific situation and turn it around to help others. During this month of Sexual Assault Awareness, take the time to talk to your kids about it.

Be an educated parent, you will have safer teenagers.

Watch the video and share it with your teens and read more.

Sue Scheff: Teen LINK - Teens Volunteering

Encouraging your teens to get involved in their community by volunteering can help your child build their self confidence as well as bring sunshine to those in need.

Many high school students may need community service hours, which can help motivate your teen. Once they start giving back they will soon feel the rewards of paying it forward.

Volunteering is so much more than helping others, it is helping yourself. It can feel so good to put a smile on another face, or simply have a dog look forward to their walk. The little things in life are major to those that are need.

In South Florida, there is TeenLink which offers a listing of places that are looking for teen volunteers. From working with the elderly to giving museum tours, there is something for everyone.

Select a category that interests you. Just click on the link to view all volunteer options for that category. Some organizations require you to register or contact an event coordinator prior to volunteering. Use the contact information provided. For the most recent updated volunteer opportunites, click on "Do it Now" located on the right. Happy volunteering!

Read more on this fantastic topic.

Sue Scheff: Students Working Against Tobacco (SWAT) - Time to Quit Smoking

Although we hear it a lot, smoking is bad for you, there are still many adults and kids that continue to smoke cigarettes. Parents will say that we need to pick and choose our issues with our teens, which is correct, however we cannot stop talking about the dangers of smoking tobacco.

In Florida, Tobacco Free Florida and Florida's Quitline are two organization directed at helping you and your loved ones quit smoking.

Unveiled in 2008 under the direction of the Florida Department of Health, the Tobacco Free Florida campaign seeks to decrease the number of tobacco users in the state of Florida through efforts aimed at both preventing nonusers from starting to use tobacco and encouraging current users to quit. These efforts are funded by money derived from court settlements against major tobacco companies, and include executions in the realm of Advertising, Public Relations, Interactive, Guerilla Media, Event Media, Sponsored Promotions and more.

It is their hope that one day every Floridian might be free of the hazards of tobacco, and that we all may eventually live in the paradise that our name implies- a truly Tobacco Free Florida.


Join Tobacco Free Florida on Facebook and stay up to date with events and information to educate you on the hazards of smoking.

Tobacco Free Florida Week runs March 21st-28th and all week long we're asking Floridians to help protect themselves and their loved ones from secondhand smoke (SHS) by asking the smokers in their life to, "Be Free For Me."

SWAT is Florida's statewide youth organization working to mobilize, educate and equip Florida youth to revolt against and de-glamorize Big Tobacco. They are a united movement of empowered youth working towards a tobacco free future.

You can join a lot of different groups in high school. This video shows why SWAT (Students Working Against Tobacco) may be the most important. Read more.

Be an educated parent, you will have safer and healthier teens.

Sue Scheff: Teens, Cell Phones, Driving, Texting Talking - All Can Lead to Deadly Results

I don't think we can hear enough about cell phones and driving.  Whether it is teens or adults, texting, talking on the  phone, and driving can lead to deadly results.  No text is worth dying over!  No phone call is worth losing  a loved one over!

More Teens Dial and Drive

Source: Connect with Kids

“I was like, 'oh my God, I'm gonna die.'
So I sat back up and the phone stopped ringing. It could have been bad.”

– Katie, Age 17

Seventeen-year old Katie once had a close call. Her cell phone rang and she leaned down to answer it.

"It was rolling all over the place," Katie says, "and I heard all this honking and stuff and I was like 'what's going on?' So I sat back up and I was (very close) to the median."

Katie learned her lesson. She now uses a hands-free device.

Still, many other teen drivers are willing to take their chances despite the potential danger of using a cell phone while driving. "I know it is (dangerous) but I think I'm a pretty good driver," says 17-year-old A'sari. "I can handle doing two things at once."

A survey by the Allstate Foundation reports that more girls admit to texting while driving, speeding, and driving aggressively... compared to boys. All of which increases the chances that a girl will get hurt... hurt someone else... or both.

Experts say parents should teach their kids responsible driving. "We need to impress upon them their safety is of importance to us," says Robert Wilson, with the National Safety Council. "Any rules or regulations imposed by their parents or law enforcement is not to punish them but to help them survive their teenage years and become young adults."

Wilson says cell phones aren't the only distraction. Music, food and even other passengers can divert a young driver's attention. He says parents should urge their kids to focus on what is really important behind the wheel. "If a situation does require you to take your eyes off the road, pull over, save those few seconds. It might save your life."

Cell Phone Risks

Several towns, cities and states have already restricted the use of handheld cellular phones while driving. The laws are in response to the growing number of cell phones owned by Americans and a widely held belief that dialing and texting while driving can be dangerous. (Several nations also restrict cell phone use while driving: Australia, Japan, France, Italy, Portugal, Spain, Sweden and Switzerland.) Not much research has been conducted into the risks of driving and cell phone use, but one study by the Harvard Center for Risk Analysis (commissioned by A T & T Wireless Communications), reached the following conclusions:

■Cellular phone use while driving poses a risk to the driver, to other motorists, and to pedestrians.
■The risks appear to be small compared to other daily risks but are uncertain because existing research is limited and uneven in quality.

Cell phone driving statistics:

■Distraction from cell phone use while driving (hand held or hands free) extends a driver's reaction as much as having a blood alcohol concentration at the legal limit of .08 percent. (University of Utah)
■The No.1 source of driver inattention is use of a wireless device. (Virginia Tech/NHTSA)
■Drivers that use cell phones are four times as likely to get into crashes serious enough to injure themselves. (NHTSA, Insurance Institute for Highway Safety)
■10 percent of drivers aged 16 to 24 years old are on their phone at any one time.
■Driving while distracted is a factor in 25 percent of police reported crashes.
■Driving while using a cell phone reduces the amount of brain activity associated with driving by 37 percent (Carnegie Mellon University)

Tips for Parents
In light of the risks of cell phone use while driving, parents may want to consider placing their own restrictions on 'dialing and driving' and especially "texting and driving." In addition to limiting cell phone use in cars, there are other things parents can do to help keep teen drivers safe. The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety recommends the following:

■Restrict nighttime driving. The majority of fatal accidents involving teenagers occur between the hours of 9 p.m. and midnight.
■Restrict passengers. Teen passengers in a vehicle can easily distract a beginning driver. 62% of teen passenger deaths occur in crashes with a teen driver. While night driving with passengers is particularly lethal, many fatal crashes with teen passengers occur during the day. The best policy is to restrict teen passengers, especially multiple teens, all the time.
■Supervise practice driving. Take an active role in helping your teenager learn how to drive.
■Remember you are a role model. New drivers learn a lot by example, so practice safe driving yourself.
■Require safety belt use. Remember that belt use is lower among teenagers than older people. Insist on belts at all times.
■Prohibit driving after drinking. Make it clear that it's illegal and highly dangerous for a teenager to drive after drinking. Even small amounts of alcohol are impairing for teens.
■Choose vehicles for safety, not image. Teenagers should drive vehicles that reduce their chances of a crash and offer protection if they do crash. Avoid trucks and sport utility vehicles—the smaller ones, especially, are prone to roll over.

References
■Harvard Center for Risk Analysis
■Insurance Institute for Highway Safety
■Wireless World Forum

Sue Scheff: Texting Terror - Violence in Schools - 15 year-old beaten

Wake up parents, teachers, schools, and all other that work with today's youth; those keystokes, clicks of a mouse, taps of fingers can lead to nearly deadly results.

Ironically at the same school that Michael Brewer attended, the teen that was doused in alcohol by other teens and set on fire, 15 year old Josie Lou Rately was nearly beaten to death and is in a medically induced coma.

According to NBC Miami Josie Lou Ratley, 15, has undergone two surgeries to relieve pressure on her brain from the savage beating that took place last Wednesday outside Deerfield Beach Middle School.

Doctors at Broward General Medical Center said Friday that they're optimistic about Ratley's recovery, but that it's now a matter of waiting for her to heal.

Her alleged attacker, 15-year-old Wayne Treacy, is being held at a juvenile detention center. Treacy's 13-year-old alleged accomplice, Kayla Manson, is also being held. Manson is charged as a principal because she helped Treacy find Ratley, authorities say. (See photo's below in slideshow).

Appearing on the NBC's Today Show and CBS's Early Show, Josie Lou's mother Hilda Gotay Ratley, and aunt Linda Sarmiento stated Josie did not know the suspect. They also asked that families reach out and talk to their own kid about this incident and make this a teachable moment. The dangers of school violence, bullying and terrors of texting is a growing problem that parents need to be in tune with and open lines of communication.


Visit STOMP OUT BULLYING and learn more on talking to your children about this sensitive and critical subject.


Bullying is a problem that affects millions of students of all races and classes. 1 out of 4 kids is bullied and 42% of kids have been bullied while online. Child and teen Bullying and Cyberbullying are at an all-time high. Some kids are so tormented that suicide has become an alternative for them. It has everyone worried. Not just the kids on its receiving end, but the parents, teachers and others who may not understand how extreme bullying can get. Love Our Children USA is working aggressively to prevent these issues and to help the kids and teens affected by it. - STOMPOUTBULLYING

Be an educated parent, you will have safer children.

Watch video and slideshow click here.