Tips to keep your kids and safe on their cell phone.
1. Be Aware of Surroundings
Emphasize to your child the importance of being aware of his/her
surroundings. The element of surprise is a powerful tool. All of this
new technology, cell phones and iPods, has created a diversion of sorts
for criminals who are intent on performing an illicit or unlawful act.
Cell phones are a distraction which detracts from a person’s
attentiveness to their surroundings. When you are preoccupied with a
phone conversation, you may not hear footsteps behind you or notice a
person who seems to be just a little to interest in what you are doing.
It is easier to overpower a person who is unaware than it is to face
one who is prepared. While your child is absorbed in what the friend on
the other end of the line is saying, a predator could be sneaking up
behind them.
It isn’t just criminals your child must be concerned about.
Talking on a cell phone while walking, bicycling, skateboarding, rip
sticking or driving can be a hazard. It is important to pay attention
to traffic when performing any of these actions near a roadway. If your
child becomes too wrapped up in a conversation on the cell phone,
he/she may not notice the car coming down the road. Your child should
know they cannot rely on the drivers to notice their presence. Drivers
have to divide their attention among too many things while on the road.
If your child isn’t paying attention and steps or rides in front of a
vehicle, the results could be devastating.
2. Parental safety controls
Take time to carefully consider which cell phone to purchase for your
child. Choose a cell phone with parental safety controls.
Programmable cell phones allow you to decide who your child can receive
phone calls from and who they are permitted to call. You can set the
numbers in their cell phone and eliminate the opportunity for someone to
whom your child should not be speaking to call or be called from the
cell phone. No need to worry about a wrong number resulting in an
undesirable friendship. Some experts recommend you don’t buy a cell
phone with a camera. There really is no reason your child’s phone
must have a camera on it. You won’t have to worry about inappropriate
images (i.e. nude photos of your child) being sent.
3. Limit Internet Access
Purchase a cell phone that doesn’t provide access to the internet.
In all likelihood, your child already has a computer at home or school
with internet access. It isn’t necessary for them to have the
internet on the cell phone also. Not only can accessing the internet on
a cell phone be extremely costly without a data plan, but it also
provides another window for predators to reach out to your child.
Everything that can be done on a computer through the internet can also
be done on a cell phone. Instant messaging, emails, blogging on MySpace
or any of the other social sites are all available with internet access
on a cell phone. The difference between a cell phone and the computer
is the level of privacy afforded with a cell phone. A computer can be
kept in a common area so that you can monitor what your child is doing
on the internet and to whom they are talking. On a cell phone, these
activities can be done with you none the wiser.
4. Never talk to strangers.
Though you probably already gave this advice to them when they were
young, as your children grow older they lose some of their fear of the
people they don’t know and often need to be reminded that this rule
still stands. Developing new friendships is exciting for the younger
generations. In their excitement over the prospect of earning a new
friend and the ensuing efforts to impress the person, children often
forget their basic training from their early years. Their growing
confidence in their own ability to recognize danger often leaves them
vulnerable. Children are generally not skilled in recognizing danger in
unfamiliar people. They don’t realize that predators are skillfully
adept at blending in and appearing harmless. These predators are truly
the proverbial wolf in sheep’s clothing, patiently developing
friendships over time with the intent of eventually luring your child
into a face-to-face meeting. A reminder of such facts could prevent a
tragedy.
5. Discuss Sexting
Sexting, for those of you who don’t know, is the act of sending
sexually graphic pictures or messages from one cell phone to another.
The most common instances of sexting in the younger set involve sending
pictures of themselves in provocative clothing or completely nude. It
is important that you discuss this practice with your child and let them
know in no uncertain terms that it is not allowed and will not be
tolerated. If you are afraid to bring this subject to their attention
in case your child doesn’t already know what it is, don’t. You can
be assured that your child is already familiar with it. You will not be
teaching them about something they don’t already know about. Don’t
wait until you see evidence that your child is engaging in this
practice before establishing this rule. If you avoid this discussion
because of a fear that you will be informing your child about something
of which they know nothing about, you run the risk of them facing
serious consequences.
This trend has become so prevalent it has even caught the attention
of legislators. Lawmakers have begun to draft and create legislation
making the act a prosecutable offense. Some have gone as far as to
label it a child pornography offense with an equal punishment. These
new laws are not arbitrary legislation created for the purpose of
appearances; individuals caught engaging in sexting have already been
prosecuted for the crime of distributing child pornography.
Distribution doesn’t even require that you take the picture in order
for you to be prosecuted under such a law; it only requires that you
send it. So if your child receives one of these graphic sexting
messages and forwards it to a friend for a laugh, your child could face
prosecution. Explaining all of this to your child could save both of
you a lot of heartache.
6. Cell Phone Monitoring Software
Purchase a subscription to a cell phone monitoring program or
software. My Mobile Watchdog is one such service. It monitors all of
your child’s cell phone activity and allows you to view it online. It
is not done secretly so you will have to let your child know you are
monitoring them. The website allows you to preset which phone numbers
are trusted or unapproved to contact your child. There is also an
assigned setting for suspicious. Alerts are sent out to warn you when an
unapproved, suspicious or unknown person attempts contact. You also
have access to a transcript of every text message your child sends and
receive. You can read the entire content and see the phone numbers
associated with the messages. You also have the option of printing the
reports if you needed. You can also view every picture sent or received
from the cell phone. The website also offers practical tools such as
appointment and task reminders.
7. Keep Tabs On Cell Phone Activity
Check your child’s cell phone and activity regularly. If a
subscription to a cell phone monitoring website is not in your budget or
just isn’t something you choose to do, then you should check your
child’s cell phone and activity regularly. Do not warn your child in
advance or check the cell phone at the same time every week as that will
give them an opportunity to clean the contents. Random checks will
allow you to read the text messages going out or coming in as well as to
see what pictures are being sent and received. You can also check the
phone number on the incoming and outgoing call lists to see who is
calling and at what times. Most cell phone providers make this
information available to their customers online. Though it may be
perceived by your child as an invasion of their privacy, explain that is
not your intent. It isn’t that you distrust your child; you are only
trying to protect them. If this is always the rule from a young age
and treated matter-of-factly, then privacy may never even become an
issue.
8. Don’t Disclose Private Information
Advise your child to be careful about what information is discussed
in public. A person who is looking to do someone harm will eavesdrop on
public conversations to gather any information which might be useful.
Private and personal information can be used at a later time to gain
your child’s trust. Once again, predators are devious creatures
practiced at developing illicit relationships. Having personal
information about your child will assist these types of people in
forging a friendship based on common interests. It can also reveal
places where the predator can plan ‘chance’ meetings with your
child. Discussions about the school they attend, activities they
participate in, or places they frequent can supply a wealth of
information to the wrong persons.
Identity theft is another concern. Your child may be too young to
have need for credit lines, loans and/or credit cards, but there are
plenty of dishonest people who are old enough to find them useful. Even
with limited information, a motivated criminal can find a way to obtain
the remainder of the information they would need to use it to their
full advantage. Your child is too young to understand the deviousness
and conniving of these types of individuals and just how damaging their
actions can be, but they would learn quickly when they eventually get
out on their own and discover their identity has been stolen. The
process of repairing the damage is time consuming and often costly.
Identity theft usually leaves residual stain which cannot be completely
eliminated. Teach your child to limit public calls on their cell phones
to general conversations and leave the private conversations for times
when they are, well, in private.
9. Be Respectful In Public
Teach your child to try to be respectful of others when using your
cell phone in public. Instances of violence relating to cell phone
usage are becoming more commonplace. The latest news reports of violent
acts being committed as a result of someone’s inconsiderate use of a
cell phone are becoming more prevalent. The public is becoming less
tolerant of the lack of courtesy which is evident in the way the public
is responding to these reports. The individuals committing the violent
acts are being commended by the public. And as cell phone courtesy is
becoming more of a point of contention, these incidents have the
potential to become more commonplace.
Protect your child from cell phone violence as you would from road
rage. Explain that being courteous when using a cell phone is
important. For example, tell your child that the cell phone ringer
should not be turned on while in a movie theater and of course should
not be answered either. If a call comes through which must be answered,
they should leave the theater and answer it in a hallway. Though
something so simple may not seem all that important to a self centered
teen or preteen, as a parent you know that to some people it is worthy
of violence in the same way that being cut off in traffic is for the
same person. A courtesy reminder could help protect your child from
senseless violence and will ensure they remember their manners.
10. Place a curfew on cell phone usage.
Children despise curfews, but they are in place for a reason. A
telephone curfew is nothing new. Many of us had such curfews on our
home phones when we were younger. Phone calls were not permitted during
or after certain times. Just because the phones are now mobile
doesn’t mean this practice is now irrelevant. The same reasons that a
curfew was important when we were young still apply. Late night phone
calls interfere with sleep, studying and can lead to trouble. Prank
calls and texts are more likely to occur after bedtime. It’s all
coming back to you now, isn’t it? Sexting is easier at night, also.
Think of all the trouble which can be curtailed if you have possession
of the cell phone after hours. A curfew is an effective method of
preventing trouble. And it will provide an opportunity for a quick look
at the content of your child’s cell phone.
11. Have a plan for unusual calls of text messages
Encourage your child to talk to you about any concerning phone calls
or text messages they may receive. It is important that your child
knows what to do in the event that he/she receives harassing phone calls
on the cell phone. Any type of threatening or bullying phone calls or
text messages should be reported to you so that you can help them decide
how best to handle the situation. This includes sexually inappropriate
pictures, messages, or requests. If something like this occurs there
are a few options available to you and your child. You can contact your
cell phone provider and ask to have the number changed. Most providers
will do this at least once free of charge. You can also request that
text messages be blocked from the cell phone. Though it will be an
inconvenience since this action will block all text messages from coming
through, this is an effective method of stopping offensive texts from
being sent. After a couple of weeks of unsuccessful attempts, the
person sending will grow tired of the constant rebuffs and quit trying.
You can always have the service reactivated.
Technology is rapidly evolving and will continue to do so. You have
to be prepared to adapt your rules accordingly. Remember that criminals
are not intimidated by technology and are using it to find easier ways
to find victims. They are just waiting for opportunity to present
itself. And criminals are not the only danger from which your child
needs protection. Your child depends on you to lead them away from
trouble, even if they do not always appreciate your guidance. You do
not need to be an expert in the use of technology to establish relevant,
general rules. Don’t use inexperience as an excuse.
A few basic
steps and rules could help protect your child from danger and you from
heartbreak.
