Struggling Teens: Does My Teen Need Resident Therapy?

Summer is approaching.

School is almost out.

My teen, who is very intelligent is failing.


My teen, who once had an interest in sports or music or any other hobby, is now only interested in his/her computer/technology or a group of friends that are not exactly what I would choose for him/her....

My teen is in control of our household.  Telling us when he/she will be coming home.  Telling us what their curfew is.  Total lack of respect for our boundaries.

I am not sure what to do.... Is it typical teen or is it heading done a darker path?

Only you can answer this.

From experience, I can share that many parents should exhaust all local avenues of help first including local therapy.  Unfortunately local therapy - one hour once a week rarely is enough to make substantial changes (especially with a 16 year old and up).

If you have come to a dead end, it may be time to consider residential therapy.  I always share with parents - don't wait for a crisis to happen, start your research early.  Even if you never use it, at least you are prepared if you need it.

The Internet is very confusing.  Be careful.  What is Internet fact and what is Internet fiction?  Good question.  Even with my own name and person - I have been a victim of Internet defamation and have been called all sorts of vicious names and accused of things I never did.  So you need to be careful.

I encourage you to read my story - which brought me to why I created my organization that advocates for parents that have reached their wit's end.

Join me on Facebook  and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today's teenagers.

Teen Help: Internet Fact verses Internet Fiction

What to believe on the Internet?

Aha! You found the most beautiful teen help program.  The website is beautiful with lush mountains, healthy animals, happy teens, all well staffed and a campus that seems perfect to help your troubled teen.... but is it real or is it the static of the Internet?

I don't know.

One thing about the Internet we all do know, is Google is not God.  It is very difficult to know what is real and what isn't.  Which is why I created my organization over a decade ago.

You see, I was scammed by that "static" website.  I was further scammed by the many toll free numbers and slick sales reps that convinced me I needed helped and fast.  In my defense (though I was still stupid looking back) the Internet was not as sophisticated as it is today - so parents today do have many more resources to determine what is real and what is not.

I do encourage parents to learn from my mistakes.  A quick version of my story (which the program sued me to try to get me to remove from the Internet and lost) - www.aparentstruestory.com - will give you an idea of how not to get scammed online.

My story was published by Health Communications Inc, (home of Chicken Soup for Soul book series) in a effort to help parents with struggling teens.

Do you need a free consultation.... still confused... visit www.helpyourteens.com.

Teen Help Programs and the Internet Search

Who knows your teen better than you do? Sometimes you even wonder if you really do know your teen, especially when they are acting like a complete stranger, but you do know who they are deep down.

Are you looking for residential therapy for your at-risk teenager?

Are they a good teen making bad choices?  You don't want to place them in a school or program that has a hard-cord element, a type of teen that will actually create more negative issues.

After all, your teen is highly intelligent, was once a rising athlete, interested in sports, music or other clubs at school or even in your community.  Now they are hanging out with less than desirable peers and have become someone you don't even recognize.

You hop on the Internet, as most 2012 parents do and start typing in all sort of key words - and before you know it - you are bombarded with all sorts of programs and schools and "sales reps" that seem to have answers - or so you think.

This is when you need to step back and understand that YES, you do need help, you do need an intervention and you do need to remove your teen from their environment enable to get them the help they need.  Let's face it, therapy isn't working anymore - if you can even get them to attend.

My mantra has been - learn from my mistakes when I wen through this.  Read - www.aparentstruestory.com - and you will see you need to take your time.  It is not to scare you - it is to educate you.

Here are a few tips to remember:

• Look for programs that are not attached to "sales reps".  You want to speak directly to an owner or director.  Someone that has a vested interest in your teen.  Someone that their reputation will be reflected on your child's success (or lack of).  Someone who you can hold accountable through the duration of your teen's stay.  
• Look for the ACE factor.  A=Academics - Always ask for a copy of their accreditation for education - be sure it is transferable back to where you live.  C=Clinical - Be sure the clinical staff is credentialed. E=Enrichment programs - These are critical to be sure your teen is stimulated in a positive direction to want to make better choices.  This isn't about breaking your child down, it is about building them up.
• Ask for parent references of parents with the same gender and age of your own teenager.  Also take it a step further.  Ask for families that are in your same geographical area.  This way maybe you will be able to meet with them and possibly even the graduate of the program you are considering.
• Keep in mind - Short term programs - short term results.  Don't get sucked into them.  

I have many more tips and offer free parent consultation at www.HelpYourTeens.com.  

Don't reach your wit's end and make a rash decision - made an education choice.... Be an educated parent - this a major emotional and financial decision.

Horizon Academy Red River Academy - Specialty Boarding Schools or Not?

Searching, surfing and more confused!

"I have been on the Internet for days and even more confused than ever!"
"How do I know who to trust?" 
"They say we should just trust them?"
"Should we?"
"I just know we can't go on like this!!!!"

Troubled teens, teen help, struggling teens, at-risk teens, problem teens, difficult teens, boot camps, military schools, behavior modification, specialty schools, specialty programs, teen help programs, boarding schools, residential treatment centers, residential therapy, emotional growth programs, therapeutic boarding schools, wilderness programs, defiant teens, manipulative teens, disengaged from the family, family conflict, hopelessness, WIT’S END….

You have about reached your wit’s end when you are searching the web and typing in about every keyword you believe describes what you think you are looking for.  Glorified websites appear – maybe some not so beautiful, maybe you want a Christian setting, maybe you think a good boot camp or have that traditional thinking of an old fashioned military school…. however you will soon realize this isn’t 50 years ago.  There are legitimate residential therapeutic schools today and it is a parent job to do their research to be sure they find a safe and quality program that fits their individual needs.

After hours – days – even weeks (I have actually spoken to parents that have spent months) on the Internet, sometimes the confusion can deepen, which is why I did create Parents’ Universal Resource Experts.
With this – I am only sharing my own experiences…. and it has to do with the affiliated programs with the title of this Blog….

Are you confused yet? Looking for teen help and realizing this is a BIG BUSINESS?

So, your teen is driving your crazy.  You are at your wit’s end. You have finally decided you need outside help. You have exhausted all your local resources.  Local therapy doesn’t help, heck, you can’t even get your teen to attend.  Your teen is failing in school, he/she is very smart yet doesn’t want to attend school and believe they know it all.  Many say, “typical teen“, but as a parent, we know it is more than that.
Where did our good kid go?  Good kids making bad choices – and they don’t need to be placed in an environment that will make them worse in my opinion – learn from what happened to me!

As a victim of the WWASPS organization – I am often called or receive many emails about our (my daughter and I) experiences with them.  Obviously not pleasant.  Though I am happy to say the program she was at, Carolina Springs Academy, which attempted to go through a name change to Magnolia Christian Academy (or School) depending on the day you Googled it, is finally closed – it has been rumored some of the staff is now at their affiliate program – Red River Academy.

Let me be clear for legal purposes – these are rumors – but if I were placing my child in program, I personally wouldn’t take any chances – and furthermore, Red River Academy is clearly named in the current lawsuit which is extremely disturbing with allegations of fraud, abuse, neglect and much more – (click here) that is current.

Then we come to Horizon Academy.  Another alleged WWASPS facility.  Why say alleged?  Maybe they will deny they are affiliated – yet look at their staff, again, you will see they were once employed at other WWASPS programs.  Jade Robinson was at the program in Mexico (named in that lawsuit with alleged abuse and neglect) Casa By the Sea, then went on to Bell Academy, which didn’t last long, and I assume is trying to continue at Horizon Academy.

So when the “sales rep” tells you that “Sue Scheff” is a disgruntled parent – I say – YES, I was – you put my daughter in a box for 17 hours, she was mentally and emotionally abused – food and sleep deprived – I was complete defrauded – and she also missed out on 6 months of education.  None of which I had signed up for.  Grant it, this was 10 years ago – a lot has changed – but those original owners haven’t – so in my humble opinion – I wouldn’t trust any of their programs with my pets….. BTW: I am the only parent to have defeated WWASPS in a jury trial.  

Most of the other (many) lawsuits have settled out of court with silence agreements.  I don’t have one, which is why I can still share my story – which is why I get slimed online – which is why their sales reps have all sorts of stories about me – including “the jury made a mistake” – neglecting to tell you I won the appellate court too.  No one condones child abuse – period.

I have been called a crusader (and not in a flattering way) though I take it that way.  I have made it my mission to find the better programs and schools, since I do know what it is like to be at your wit’s end.  I know what parents need help. I am not against residential therapy, which brings us to many  of my stalkers that were formally abused in programs that believe all programs should be closed down.  That is being extreme – they are not a parent trying to save their child’s life and future.

I will share with you that there are more safe and quality programs than there are bad ones – it is just about doing your homework and research.  Today you are more fortunate than I was – you have more access to information and you can learn from my mistakes and  my knowledge.

Please – take 10 minutes to read my story and see the list of programs that are and were once affiliated with Carolina Springs Academy – and from there, you make your own choices for your child.

I had one parent that almost went to Red River Academy that actually said the sales rep said they could have their teen “extracted” within a few hours?  Extracted?  Really – is your child a tooth?  Please don’t get rushed into a quick decision – this is a major emotional and financial decision.

My organization is Parents’ Universal Resource Experts – and no matter what those “sales reps” or the Internet fiction – I don’t own, operate or manage any schools or programs!  We are about educating parents when they are looking for help for their at risk teen…. Don’t get scammed when you are at your wit’s end.

Oh – and when these “sales reps” send out these defamatory links about me – another FACT they neglect to tell you is I won the landmark case for Internet Defamation that awarded me $11.3M in damages for what was said about me online!  Lies and twisted facts!  Here is my recent appearance on Anderson Cooper.

This is strictly my opinion on my own experiences – you are free to make your choices…

Troubled Teens and Getting Help

Do any of these labels sound familiar?

• Truancy (Excessive Absences) 
• Multiple Suspension/Detentions
• Expulsion 
• Academic Failure/Grades Dropping - Underachiever
• Social Withdrawal - Isolating themselves
• Poor Decision Making 
• Peer Relationship Problems; Fights; Arguments 
• Choosing the Wrong Peer Group
• Defiant/Anger/Violent/Rage/Rebellious - Conduct Disorder
• Confrontational Behavior/Acting Out 
• Refusal to accept Accountability for their Actions 
• Depression/Bipolar/Oppositional Defiance Disorder 
• Involvement in Cult Activities - Gang Activity

Does any of the above sound familiar? If so it may be time to start searching for healthy and safe alternative schools or programs.  Whether they are local or out of the area, after conferring with a school guidance counselor or therapist, you may determine that a different academic setting may benefit your child.

Absences and Suspension Rates (or Incident reports) are useful indicators of student academic or behavioral problems. Most truancy and incident rates increase with grade levels. Another words, this will most likely escalate rather than go away if not addressed.

Incidents rates are on the rise and school expulsion have increased, nearly doubled in the High Schools within the past three years. The zero tolerance rates may be attributed to this rise in numbers, however it is a clear indication that some teens are truly struggling and need outside help.  This is has to do with many factors:

• Population Increase, which leads to overcrowding in the schools
• Lack of ACCEPTANCE of our Cultural Diversity
• Family Conflicts - Marital Issues (Divorce, Separation, etc.)
• Stress and Anger Management Problems
• Lack of Communication and the skills to communicate with Today's Teens.
• Ineffective or Inconsistence Parenting/Discipline Strategies
• Substance Abuse (Drugs and/or Alcohol)
• Undiagnosed Learning Disabilities - ADD/ADHD/LD
• Zero Tolerance Level at Schools
• LACK OF AFFORDABLE COMMUNITY RESOURCES & SERVICES

Do you need to find out more?  Visit www.helpyourteens.com and ask for a free consultation.

Treatment for Troubled Teens: Wilderness Programs - Falses sense of help?

For the many people that know me, they know I don't believe in Wilderness programs, nor do I advocate for short term programs.  This doesn't mean there aren't reputable Wilderness programs in our country.  There are, however chances are very good, after your teen attends one - within the first 30 days, the program will tell you it is likely you will need to go on to a residential therapy program.  Which means....

• More money
• Another trip
• Another therapist
• Another schedule
• Etc....

Back to the first one - the costs are exuberant for Wilderness, and to combine it with another at least $50K for a boarding school is simply out of the equation for many families.

I am writing this information today for two reasons.  One, I have received several calls this week alone by parents that fell for the Wilderness road.  Now they are out of money and need  a program, but the funding is no where to be found.  What do you do?  Their teen is back to the streets - smoking the dope and failing in school. (Let's also remember most Wilderness programs don't offer academics).

One thing these at-risk teens need is consistency.  Usually for the past several months, even years they have been spiraling out of control, driving down a negative path with a negative peer group.

Going to Wilderness is a great experience - they get to vent to their counselor, talk about their feelings and dig deep inside.  They even get a new appreciation of sleeping in their bed or a bed.  They are also knowing that once they just get through these next 6-8-10 weeks - they are home free.

Now, you tell them they are not home free - they are going to the "next step" - a longer term program.  Now they have to get over the disappointment, anger, resentment and most of all, they have to start all over again with a new therapist - a new staff and a new setting.  Sigh.....

Of course this is the case for the families that can afford that next step.  If they can't - some will be facing a probation officer or public defender within a few months.  Solid changes and "lasting" changes cannot be made within 6-8-10 weeks.

This is way an average successful program is 6-9-12 months (not weeks).  On the same note, you don't want programs that are taking your teen completely out of the family for more than 18-24 months - that is not emotionally healthy.  It can contribute to abandonment issues -which can backfire.

Do you want to learn more?  Visit www.HelpYourTeens.com and find out about resources and options for troubled teens. 

Are Wilderness program worth it?  It is my opinion of after a decade of talking with thousands of family - no, they simply are not worth it.  That doesn't mean families they aren't useful to some people, but from the many I have spoken with - they do have good experiences however know that it is step they didn't really need.  Of course, we all are different.

Teen Failing in School - Bad Choices - Great Kids: Parent Help

The first semester of school is over, now we are on to the final few months - and your teen is debating whether they "want" to finish school?  Excuse me - you mean teens have options?

Believe it or not, yes they do!  In Florida, at the age of 16 your teen can sign themselves out of school - of course they need your consent, however if you don't, truancy charges will linger.

Now what?  Virtual school? Homeschooling? GED?  Who would have thought - generations prior graduating high school was  never an option.  Today is a new world.

Who is in control?

Let's compound this and you suspect or know your teen is using drugs, drinking and seriously mom, it's no big deal?!  Really?

Now they develop an attitude of defiance, start sneaking out, completely disrespectful to your home and your boundaries.....

You find this is getting out-of-control and you realize that you have a limited time to get them help since at the age of 18 you no longer have control.

After exhausting all your local resources, therapy, outpatient programs, support groups - and some even send their teen to a relatives to live, you soon realize you need to take that big step - residential therapy.

You jump online after the sticker shock you find all these disturbing websites about all these so-called teen help programs, you find former students, disgruntled parents (which I was one at one time), as well as enough negative information you stop in your tracks.

I get it - I have been there -I fell for the fraud online - I won a major jury trial proving our experiences were true - even with our horrific experiences,  I still believe parents need  options.

Some of the wealthier ones will  hire an Educational Consultant, believing they are safe with these professionals.  Well, chances are good - you are safe, but are you being spun in the EC Shuffle?  Yes, that is a name some of us call it - they seem to have a cookie-cutter program design - Most clients start in Wilderness (and I can name the top 3 most EC's give out) then they go on to a longer term program.

Hmmm.... why not start and finish at the same place?  Why not find a solid 6-9-12 month program that offers consistency?

Most EC's or programs associated with Wilderness Programs will tell you that the time in the wilderness will break your child down?  Really, I am sure it will - but isn't our teen already broken if we are seeking this help?  Isn't  it time to start working towards building them back up by working through their issues?

Great advice, read today

My best advice to parents is to know this decision to find residential therapy is one of the most difficult many parents need to make.  You should take it lightly or make the decision when you are in crisis.  If you see the road getting bumpy - do your  homework early - so when that urgency hits, you are ready.

Also know this is not about "shipping off" your teen - it is about giving them a second opportunity at a bright future - after all, if you let things continue to escalate - what will be the ending?

My next post will have some hints to finding safe and quality programs.  My experiences and sound opinions - they may be criticized by some - but at the end of the day, I am a parent that has been right where you are, at your wit's end.

For more information visit www.helpyourteens.com and checkout the hints and tips there!

Need to learn more about transport services (yes, another step you will hear about) - click here.

More to come....

Teen Help Programs: Building a Teen Back Up to Make Better Choices

Yes, some parents need the assistance of outside help when their teen goes down a negative path.  Finding the right program for your individual needs can be a daunting and confusing experiences.  How do I know?  I have been there.  I made all the mistakes so hopefully you don't have to.  My story is at www.aparentstruestory.com.

My story and organization is about educating parents - guiding them - and letting them know that punishing your child by trying to find a Boot Camp or Scared Straight program is not only a temporary fix (if it really does fix anything is debatable) it is not an option I would consider.  In most cases these types of programs only build more anger and resentment towards the parent or guardian that sent them to it.

Looking for a program that promotes positive enrichment programs as well as the clinical component with a good strength on academics.  Wilderness programs usually offer zero education - they are short term programs with short term results - and almost always need to continue on to a residential therapy program.

Sure, Wilderness may break your child down - get them ready for residential therapy, but correct me if I am wrong, isn't your teen already broken down?  Why are they acting out?  Don't  you think finding the right program from beginning to end would be more beneficial to your teen?  Consistency is key!  They lack it now - they need it for recovery.  Then again, maybe there is a double dip process they don't want you to know about.... Just my opinion.

I am a parent that firmly believes we need good residential programs - but they need three major and strong elements - Education/Academics, Clinical/Therapists "on staff" and Enrichment programs to engage your teens in a positive direction!


Learn more at www.helpyourteens.com - don't wait until you are in a crisis situation.

Sue Scheff: Residential Therapy verses Wildeness Programs or even JAIL

You have a teen that is driving you crazy.  You have a teen that is experimenting, if not using drugs on a regular basis.  You have teen that has changed peer groups - and not for the better.  You have a teen that has disengaged from the family.  You have a teen that is defiant, belligerent and can become violent.  You have a teen that doesn't appreciate all they have and all you have sacrificed for them?  You are at your wit's end!

Is it time to have an intervention?  What is best to insure that your teen gets back on a positive road to have that bright future you always wanted for them?

Let's review some choices to get help:


Wilderness Therapeutic Programs:  Short term program, short term results, usually zero academics, extremely expensive and as many teens state they have great experiences, it is usually never enough to make lasting positive changes.

• The concept: Remove the kids from their comforts of home.  Get them to reflect on themselves from within. 
• Thought:  Wouldn't it be wise to find one program that offers a well-rounded program including removing them from their comforts of home, offering them an education as well as encouraging them through enrichment programs?

Boot Camps:  Thankfully many have been closed in the state of Florida.  This in and of itself speaks volumes.  As parents see it as a way to punish their kids for their negative behavior, using punitive and primitive measures may cause more anger and resentment toward the person that placed them there.

• The concept: Teach your child a lesson, and hope they learn to appreciate and respect you.
• Thought:  Again, finding a sound program that offers positive enrichment, academics as well as trained staff to help determine where the negative behavior is stemming from.

Jail:  Is this ever a good option?  Not really, and although juvenile records are sealed, according to law enforcement, what happens when your teen applies for a job in their 20's and that record, although it doesn't state the charges, but is pinged by your teen being finger printed?  Did you consider the friends your teen will make in jail?

• The Concept: Show your teen the consequences of breaking the law.  Hopefully scaring them straight so they turn around their behavior.
• Thought: Get your teen the right help that instills positive reinforcement, continuing education and work on family conflict with an outside counselor.

Residential Therapy: Finally, a way to address negative behavior in a positive direction. Our teens need consistency in treatment.  Starting and finishing with the same therapist, structure and program that builds your teen back up to making the better choices.  Some parents are being convinced that using a short term program such as Wilderness Programs will prepare them for a residential program, however if you find the right program from the start, it serves the same purpose as a Wilderness Program (of course saving about $10K-20K at the same time).  Choosing a residential therapy program does remove your child from their comforts of their home.  It also gives them an opportunity to reflect and get back to basics.

• Concept: It took longer than 6-8 weeks to get to the place your teen is at, it will take at least 6-9 months to get your child back.
• Thought: Take your time and find the best program for you and your family both emotionally and financially.  Consider that short term programs are like band-aids - they do peel off fairly quickly.

With Lindsay Lohan at 24 years old going to jail, it will serve to sober her up, however the rehab is what will help her to remain sober. Sadly, this may all be a moot point since at 24 years old, she is considered an adult and can just go through the motions - after all, she is court appointed.
Don't wait for your teen to be over 18, get them help while you still have the ability and control.

For more information, visit www.helpyourteens.com.

Read more.

Sue Scheff: Wilderness Programs - Are they right for your troubled teen?

What is a "Wilderness Program?" If you are a parent that is struggling with a teenager that is out-of-control, you will surf the Internet and attempt to find help. Many parents first think of boot camps as a resolution - a way to teach our teen a lesson. Then you realize that maybe that is not the best avenue and you are somehow directed to wilderness programs. Not always, but especially if you have hired an Educational Consultant, their first recommendation is commonly Wilderness programs (and many call the EC Shuffle).

There are many very good Wilderness Programs in our country, however the question remains, are they necessary or should you go directly to where most teens eventually end up: Residential Therapy program.

Wilderness programs are mainly designed to break a teen down. Although they are not punitive, in comparison to a boot camp, they are primitive, forcing your teen to appreciate the luxuries he had at home. However, a residential therapy program can do the same thing, since many are not designed by Hilton (TM). Have you also thought about this: Your teen is already broken down, why do we need to continue to break him/her down?

Let's look at the pro's and cons.

• Wilderness programs can cost you up to $500.00 a day. Yes, a day. Some start as little as $250.00 a day (Yes, as little as). Now multiply that by 30 days or actually 6 weeks, since the average stay in Wilderness is 6-9 weeks. At the low end: A month in the mountains will cost you $7500.00. That is questionable to many, as well as out of the financial means of many more.
• Wilderness program rarely have academics. Fact is your teen is probably not focused on academics and could care less about them. Working on their emotional stability is the goal here, however it shouldn't be an excuse to delay education. Although your child may not care about their education, you do.
• Wilderness programs are short term. Short term program, short term results and a lot of money. In most cases they go on to residential programs which will run you about another $5000.00 a month and up for another 10-12 months. Wouldn't it make sense to start and finish at the same place with the same therapist and the consistency of recovery?
• Wilderness programs are sadly where we hear of the most deaths or accidents in teen help programs. It is true, accidents can happen in any program, however when listening to speakers in congress while attempting to pass a bill to stop abuse in residential programs, it seemed the parents that lost a child in a program were mainly in Wilderness programs.

Some positives:

• If your teen has not escalated to a point of serious concern, and is just starting to make some poor choices, maybe a 6-9 week wake-up call is all that is needed. As long as you can afford it, and remember, if they decide he/she needs more than the 6-9 weeks, you need to be prepared to go the next step.
• The teen is removed from their home environment. They are put in a place of isolation and maybe this is just what they need to reflect on their current negative behavior.
• There are some excellent Wilderness programs with very good and caring staff in our country. Many teens that had a wilderness experience really feel it was very good. Many parents also believe that the Wilderness program helped their child get ready for the next step, residential therapy.
• Wilderness programs offer a great opportunity for your teen to live outdoors and experience outdoor therapy. With some teens this is very beneficial.

This is a personal decision, and although I am not an advocate of Wilderness programs I can appreciate and respect parents that believe they need this extra step and it has worked for them. It is my philosohy that starting and finishing at the program is part of the consistency of healing. Having to switch programs and therapists (especially) and starting over, can feel like you have fallen back to ground zero. However, each family is different with different needs, so this is an individual decision.

Is Wilderness right for your teen? Only you can answer that.

Order Wit's End! Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out-of-Control Teen for more information on finding the best placement for your individual needs.

Also on Examiner.