Sue Scheff: Cliques and Your Teens

Bullying today is a major concern for all parents of children of all ages.  Bullying and cyberbullying is more than the sticks and stones that used to be thrown verbally.  It has put being mean and teasing at a whole new level which no one should have to tolerate.

Let's look right here in Broward County.  Last October we had 15 year-old Michael Brewer nearly burned to death after being set on fire by other teens.  Is this bullying?  In March of this year 15 year-old Josie Lou Ratley was nearly stomped to death with the steel-toed boots of 16 year-old Wayne Treacy.  Was this bullying?

Bullying has extended into violent attacks that are nearly killing kids, not to mention driving them to suicide such in the Phoebe Prince case.

Today, as yesterday, cliques are a part of our culture.  The concern is they are starting younger and younger.  These younger children usually do not have the cause and effect thinking ability that comes with maturity in older adolescents.

Cliques or clicks?  As much as we want to click the mouse and turn-off the cliques of today's teens and tweens, they will still be a part of society.

Connect with Kids has some great insights for parents:

• Cliques are groups of friends, but not all groups of friends are cliques. On the positive side, cliques can offer an opportunity for children to develop their social skills, to watch others and to learn ways to behave appropriately. On the negative side, children in cliques are getting practice in whatever behavior is being modeled - which can be bullying and risk-taking. Often one or two popular kids control who gets to be in the clique and who gets left out. Kids may act much differently than they did before they were part of the clique.

• Bullying is commonly thought of as physical, verbal and/or emotional abuse, sexual harassment in person or online. Yet in addition to physical abuse, bullies tease, spread rumors and eliminate and exclude people from groups. Bullies frequently torment their victims such that they feel helpless, defenseless and are often in real physical and emotional pain.

• First and foremost, talk with your children, especially teens, in ways that encourage the sharing of information. Let them know that you are concerned and want to help, but most of all let them know it is not their fault if they are being bullied or excluded. Never approve of retaliation, which often escalates the problem.

• Schools and homes must establish clear rules about bullying behaviors that will not be tolerated. Consequences must be outlined and enforced. If your child is being bullied, talk with administrators and teachers to discuss your concerns and develop a plan of action. You should expect the bullying to stop. Talk with your children about how to stand up for others who are being bullied. Help them to understand that getting involved and seeking help is not "tattling" but an important solution to the problem. And make sure your home is a safe haven.

Being an educated parent leads to safer and healthier kids.

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Sue Scheff: BullyBust Your School and Community Today!

Do we need to hear more acts of violence, bullying and vicious text rage? Do we need to hear it escalating to text hit lists or teens making bombs? In reality, this is not an exageration, it is happening.

In Broward County we have the horrific stories of Josie Lou Ratley, an eight grader that was nearly beaten to death and Michael Brewer, a teen that was nearly burned to death.

In Brevard County we have Cameron Lee Kage, a teen that was accused of creating a deadly bomb with all the materials and instructions to potentially set it off at his school.

In Duval County there is Anthony Jones that was allegedly on a text hit list in his school and was shot.

We don't need another incident to wake-up our state and our county the serious cry for help with our teens and kids today.

BullyBust is is an awareness campaign designed to reduce bullying in schools by teaching students and adults how to stand up to bullying and promote upstander behavior. An upstander is someone who witnesses bully behavior and does something about it. Use the resources on BullyBust.org to transform your school or community from one of passive bystanders to a community of positive upstanders. Together we can put an end to bullying!

Educators, get critical supports for your school and join a dedicated community of schools nationwide: Sign up for the Partner School Program today.

Join BullyBust on Facebook and follow them on Twitter.
Sign the BullyBust Stand UP Pledge today!+

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Sue Scheff: What is your School Climate?

No matter where you are in our country, school climate is critical in our childrens lives. Today with the headlines ripping with text rage, text threats and hit lists, bullying, beatings, teen bomb scares and more, there has never been a more crucial time to educate parents, teachers, schools and students about prevention of school violence and the need to learn about healthy living.

School Climate is an educational resource that is working diligently to bring together everyone to benefit our communities and school districts.

About School Climate:

Our goal is to promote positive and sustained school climate: a safe, supportive environment that nurtures social and emotional, ethical, and academic skills.

CSEE is an organization that helps schools integrate crucial social and emotional learning with academic instruction. In doing so, we enhance student performance, prevent drop outs, reduce physical violence, bullying, and develop healthy and positively engaged adults.

For more than a decade CSEE has worked together with the entire academic community-teacher, staff, school-based mental health professionals, students and parents-to improve a climate for learning.

We help translate research into practice by establishing meaningful and relevant guidelines, programs and services that support a model for whole school improvement with a focus on school climate.

Join School Climate on Facebook and follow them on Twitter. Also follow them on through BullyBust.

Is your school safe? Do the students feel safe? Measure your school climate today! Click here.

Be an educated parent, you will have safer and healthier teens. Read more.