Sue Scheff (P.U.R.E.) - "Parent Empowerment!"

Tough love, family conflict.... Parenting teens is not always easy

2012-01-26T17:40:00.000-08:00

Family conflict.....

Raising teens today can be contentious and get your blood pressure boiling. The lack of respect towards parents and most authority is very disturbing in today’s society. I often say the sense of entitlement issue can be a large cause of today’s defiant teens. Either way, parents are struggling with kids that are literally holding parents hostage in their own homes.

Here is a great guest post by Barbara Williams:

Working as a nanny can be a rewarding and fulfilling job for people who love children. However, getting along with the parents can sometimes be a challenge. The important thing to remember is, no matter how much you love the children, the parents are the boss. You need to make sure they are happy with your work because the parents are ones signing your paychecks.

It might not always be obvious that you’re doing something to displease them, so here are 10 signs a parent is upset with you.

Not speaking – Some parents aren’t good at communicating their displeasure so they’ll give you the silent treatment. Instead of a light banter at the end of the day they’ll only answer direct questions with short terse statements. If this starts happening you better find out if you did something wrong or if they’re just having a bad day.
Exasperated sighs – Another unspoken sign a parent is upset with you is the exasperated sigh. Nannies who hear this better be on their toes. You should probably find out what the parent is unhappy about.
Facial expressions – It’s important for nannies to be able to read the parent’s facial expressions. A furrowed brow or tenseness around the mouth could be a sign you did something wrong.
Schedule a talk – When parents tell you they want to schedule a little talk, you may be in trouble. They may say something about having to go over a few things or the need to reevaluate your duties. Uh-oh!
Send you home early – Another sign you made them unhappy is when they send you home early for no apparent reason. This could mean they are so upset they don’t even want to have you around.
Day off for no reason – Getting an unscheduled day off could seem like a good thing at first, but you might want to beware. This could mean the parents are reevaluating your position. They may even be scheduling interviews with other potential nannies.
Unreasonable demands – Some parents will do just the opposite and start making unreasonable demands when they’re upset with you. This could be their way of punishing you for whatever misdeeds you’ve done.
Exaggerated niceness – Some parents will express their displeasure by treating you with exaggerated niceness. This forced and fake kindness that is dripping with sarcasm is a clear sign they’re upset.
Kids tell you – Of course kids don’t have filters on their expressions like adults do, so they are more likely to tell you when their parents are upset and why. Nannies can often rely on the children to let something slip if there’s a problem the parents won’t tell them about.
They tell you – Of course the best way to find out a parent is upset with you is for them to tell you. It’s much better for them to let you know right away if you’re doing something they don’t like so you can rectify the situation.

Everyone handles conflict differently and some people are very uncomfortable with confrontations. They’ll do anything to avoid unpleasantness. The best thing to do is have good communication between both the parents and the nannies. It’s not good to let problems fester when they can re resolved quickly and amicably. Nannies should watch for these signs that the parents are upset and work hard to resolve the situation.

Source: Find a Babysitter

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Are You Raising Strong Children or Broken Adults?

2012-01-21T06:00:00.000-08:00

Guest post by Parent Expert, Aurelia Williams:

Fredrick Douglas once said “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.“   I don’t think that there is a caring mother out there that doesn’t want to see her child grow up to be a strong adult. Throughout childhood, there are many circumstances that arise that can either build the child up or tear him down. Over the years and throughout these circumstances, your child can either grow into an assertive, strong adult or an adult that is timid, broken and weak.

The world is filled with many influences that will be presented to your child that you will have little or no control over and those influences can affect your child. Children develop attitudes toward themselves and others as a direct response to the words, actions and the beliefs that people communicate to them. What do your words and beliefs say to your child?    If you want your child to grow up to be strong, secure adult, you must give him a firm foundation.

As a mom, it’s perfectly natural to want to stand up for and protect your child, but there are ways that this can go too far.   Many moms don’t want to see their child struggle with problems or fight battles with their peers, so those moms take it upon themselves to fight their children’s battles for them. While they may think that they are helping their child, they are actually crippling them and making them weaker in the long run.    If moms keep jumping in to fight their kids battles, their children will grow up to be broken, weak adults.
It is important to know when and how to step up to or away from battles that our children face.

It is the parents’ job to assist children as they navigate through all the twists and turns that life is filled with. That means we must teach them how to handle problems and they must practice what we teach.

Here are a few steps you can take to raise strong children:

Set a great example – Children will copy you. Just as sure as a child can act out or repeat all of the negative things parents do, they will do the same with the positive things as well. If you want your child to be strong and assertive, be sure that you stand up for your beliefs and views, even if it means going against the grain a bit.
Positive Words and Praise – Positive words go a long way. Be sure to let your child know that you value people who speak their mind respectfully. Praise your child when you witness them exhibiting strong, respectful behavior. This works wonders to boost up their confidence.
Don’t Sugar Coat - Be honest with your child about the difficult issues they may face! Break things down to your child’s level so that they understand the hard issues. Talk openly to your child about the possible battles they may face. When it comes to the issue of peer pressure, help them to come up with ways to combat it. Use real life examples and role play in order to get the point across.
This issue of supplying our children with the tools that they need to be assertive, well adjusted and confident is important. The end result is that if you don’t learn when and how to step back, your child will not be prepared for the bigger issues that he or she will face as they grow up.

Aurelia Williams

About the author:
Aurelia Williams, owner of Parenting My Teen has organized a totally free coaching class where she will share strategies with you that will help you know when and how to step into or step back from the battles your kids face. It is totally free and is chock full of useful information that you can use immediately! Sign up and perhaps there will be just one less weak, broken adult in the world because of it.

Horizon Academy Red River Academy - Specialty Boarding Schools or Not?

2012-01-13T13:29:00.000-08:00

Searching, surfing and more confused!

"I have been on the Internet for days and even more confused than ever!"
"How do I know who to trust?"
"They say we should just trust them?"
"Should we?"
"I just know we can't go on like this!!!!"

Troubled teens, teen help, struggling teens, at-risk teens, problem teens, difficult teens, boot camps, military schools, behavior modification, specialty schools, specialty programs, teen help programs, boarding schools, residential treatment centers, residential therapy, emotional growth programs, therapeutic boarding schools, wilderness programs, defiant teens, manipulative teens, disengaged from the family, family conflict, hopelessness, WIT’S END….

You have about reached your wit’s end when you are searching the web and typing in about every keyword you believe describes what you think you are looking for. Glorified websites appear – maybe some not so beautiful, maybe you want a Christian setting, maybe you think a good boot camp or have that traditional thinking of an old fashioned military school…. however you will soon realize this isn’t 50 years ago. There are legitimate residential therapeutic schools today and it is a parent job to do their research to be sure they find a safe and quality program that fits their individual needs.

After hours – days – even weeks (I have actually spoken to parents that have spent months) on the Internet, sometimes the confusion can deepen, which is why I did create Parents’ Universal Resource Experts.
With this – I am only sharing my own experiences…. and it has to do with the affiliated programs with the title of this Blog….

Are you confused yet? Looking for teen help and realizing this is a BIG BUSINESS?

So, your teen is driving your crazy. You are at your wit’s end. You have finally decided you need outside help. You have exhausted all your local resources. Local therapy doesn’t help, heck, you can’t even get your teen to attend. Your teen is failing in school, he/she is very smart yet doesn’t want to attend school and believe they know it all. Many say, “typical teen“, but as a parent, we know it is more than that.
Where did our good kid go? Good kids making bad choices – and they don’t need to be placed in an environment that will make them worse in my opinion – learn from what happened to me!

As a victim of the WWASPS organization – I am often called or receive many emails about our (my daughter and I) experiences with them. Obviously not pleasant. Though I am happy to say the program she was at, Carolina Springs Academy, which attempted to go through a name change to Magnolia Christian Academy (or School) depending on the day you Googled it, is finally closed – it has been rumored some of the staff is now at their affiliate program – Red River Academy.

Let me be clear for legal purposes – these are rumors – but if I were placing my child in program, I personally wouldn’t take any chances – and furthermore, Red River Academy is clearly named in the current lawsuit which is extremely disturbing with allegations of fraud, abuse, neglect and much more – (click here) that is current.

Then we come to Horizon Academy. Another alleged WWASPS facility. Why say alleged? Maybe they will deny they are affiliated – yet look at their staff, again, you will see they were once employed at other WWASPS programs. Jade Robinson was at the program in Mexico (named in that lawsuit with alleged abuse and neglect) Casa By the Sea, then went on to Bell Academy, which didn’t last long, and I assume is trying to continue at Horizon Academy.

So when the “sales rep” tells you that “Sue Scheff” is a disgruntled parent – I say – YES, I was – you put my daughter in a box for 17 hours, she was mentally and emotionally abused – food and sleep deprived – I was complete defrauded – and she also missed out on 6 months of education. None of which I had signed up for. Grant it, this was 10 years ago – a lot has changed – but those original owners haven’t – so in my humble opinion – I wouldn’t trust any of their programs with my pets….. BTW: I am the only parent to have defeated WWASPS in a jury trial.

Most of the other (many) lawsuits have settled out of court with silence agreements. I don’t have one, which is why I can still share my story – which is why I get slimed online – which is why their sales reps have all sorts of stories about me – including “the jury made a mistake” – neglecting to tell you I won the appellate court too. No one condones child abuse – period.

I have been called a crusader (and not in a flattering way) though I take it that way. I have made it my mission to find the better programs and schools, since I do know what it is like to be at your wit’s end. I know what parents need help. I am not against residential therapy, which brings us to many of my stalkers that were formally abused in programs that believe all programs should be closed down. That is being extreme – they are not a parent trying to save their child’s life and future.

I will share with you that there are more safe and quality programs than there are bad ones – it is just about doing your homework and research. Today you are more fortunate than I was – you have more access to information and you can learn from my mistakes and my knowledge.

Please – take 10 minutes to read my story and see the list of programs that are and were once affiliated with Carolina Springs Academy – and from there, you make your own choices for your child.

I had one parent that almost went to Red River Academy that actually said the sales rep said they could have their teen “extracted” within a few hours? Extracted? Really – is your child a tooth? Please don’t get rushed into a quick decision – this is a major emotional and financial decision.

My organization is Parents’ Universal Resource Experts – and no matter what those “sales reps” or the Internet fiction – I don’t own, operate or manage any schools or programs! We are about educating parents when they are looking for help for their at risk teen…. Don’t get scammed when you are at your wit’s end.

Oh – and when these “sales reps” send out these defamatory links about me – another FACT they neglect to tell you is I won the landmark case for Internet Defamation that awarded me $11.3M in damages for what was said about me online! Lies and twisted facts! Here is my recent appearance on Anderson Cooper.

This is strictly my opinion on my own experiences – you are free to make your choices…

Troubled Teens and Getting Help

2012-01-06T13:53:00.000-08:00

Do any of these labels sound familiar?

Truancy (Excessive Absences)
Multiple Suspension/Detentions
Expulsion
Academic Failure/Grades Dropping - Underachiever
Social Withdrawal - Isolating themselves
Poor Decision Making
Peer Relationship Problems; Fights; Arguments
Choosing the Wrong Peer Group
Defiant/Anger/Violent/Rage/Rebellious - Conduct Disorder
Confrontational Behavior/Acting Out
Refusal to accept Accountability for their Actions
Depression/Bipolar/Oppositional Defiance Disorder
Involvement in Cult Activities - Gang Activity

Does any of the above sound familiar? If so it may be time to start searching for healthy and safe alternative schools or programs. Whether they are local or out of the area, after conferring with a school guidance counselor or therapist, you may determine that a different academic setting may benefit your child.

Absences and Suspension Rates (or Incident reports) are useful indicators of student academic or behavioral problems. Most truancy and incident rates increase with grade levels. Another words, this will most likely escalate rather than go away if not addressed.

Incidents rates are on the rise and school expulsion have increased, nearly doubled in the High Schools within the past three years. The zero tolerance rates may be attributed to this rise in numbers, however it is a clear indication that some teens are truly struggling and need outside help. This is has to do with many factors:

Population Increase, which leads to overcrowding in the schools
Lack of ACCEPTANCE of our Cultural Diversity
Family Conflicts - Marital Issues (Divorce, Separation, etc.)
Stress and Anger Management Problems
Lack of Communication and the skills to communicate with Today's Teens.
Ineffective or Inconsistence Parenting/Discipline Strategies
Substance Abuse (Drugs and/or Alcohol)
Undiagnosed Learning Disabilities - ADD/ADHD/LD
Zero Tolerance Level at Schools
LACK OF AFFORDABLE COMMUNITY RESOURCES & SERVICES

Do you need to find out more? Visit www.helpyourteens.com and ask for a free consultation.

Five Tips to Boost your Teen's Self Esteem

2011-12-31T06:35:00.000-08:00

Being a teenager is not easy. Many teens struggle keeping up with peer pressure and trying to figure out where they fit in. This can sometimes cause them to make not so great choices. However if your teen has good self self-esteem, they are more likely to make better choices. Enjoy this guest post and especially during the holiday “time-off” take the time to be sure your teen is feeling good about themselves!

Self-esteem is a delectate issue in your teen’s life. This is a time in their lives when they are changing mentally, physically and emotionally. It’s important to help your teen but also know that this something they can only control, all you can do is assist. Address the issue or issues your teen seems to be facing, whether its low self-esteem based on appearance or grades, you can help. Here are some ways to boost your teen’s self-esteem.

1. Volunteer- When you do something good for someone else it makes you feel better. Sign your teen up with a program or organization that he/she can help with. Whether it is helping once a week or once a month, the act of giving is crucial. Check out your local soup kitchen or animal shelter and get them started today. Not only are the people and animals benefitting but so is your teen.
2. Hobbies-Talk with your teen and see what activities interest them. This may require lots of talking and observation. Take note in their everyday activities and pick up on signs of when, how and what makes them smile. For example you can sign them up for painting classes or get them books on a topic they like.
3. Exercise- There are many studies that show, when a person exercise they are much happier. According to www.Livestrong.com, ‘Running is a great way to rev up your metabolism and increase your energy levels. Cross country skiing is the only physical activity that burns more calories than running. Running releases endorphins, the chemicals in the brain that make you feel happy; this is how the expression “Runner’s high” came about.’ So get them outside and active!
4. Remove Negativity: Be sure to support your teen in all he or she does. Keeping a positive and happy vibe in the home will make them feel good. Keep negative words like: ‘ugly and fat’ out of your vocabulary. You would be surprised to how much teens listen to what you say. Just because you should remove negativity doesn’t mean you stop parenting. Discipline when necessary but keep in mind in day to day life, remain positive.
5. Friends: Your teen’s friends have a huge impact on your teen’s life. Be sure that your teen is hanging out with the ‘right crowd’. A good way to assess this situation is to invite their friends over for dinner. You will be able to judge if you think they are helping or hurting your teen’s self-esteem. If they are helping, then great, invite them over more often. If their friendship is not benefitting your teen, be sure to promote the positive friends in their lives more.
Remember this is a sensitive time for teens and nothing can help a teen like a supportive and loving parent. Follow these guidelines and listen to your kids. Happy boosting!

Author Bio
Nancy Parker was a professional nanny and she loves to write about wide range of subjects like health, Parenting, Child Care, and Babysitting, find a nanny tips etc. You can reach her @ nancy.parker015 @ gmail.com.

PS: Adults can use these tips too! Thanks Nancy for sharing these tips!

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Teen Suicide - Holiday Blues - Prevention Assistance on Faceback

2011-12-24T07:44:00.000-08:00

As the holidays are here it can also be a very dark time for some people.

For anyone who has lost a loved one due to suicide, it is one of the most painful issues they will ever face; sometimes leaving an overwhelming sense of doubt, guilt, and silence enfolding the circle of friends and family like no other experience can. In the wake of this tragedy, we are painfully forced to question- What could I have done? Could I have made a difference? Why didn’t I know?

We don’t have a life to lose in this world. We must confront suicide and suicidal thoughts openly and honestly, and use every opportunity to make a difference by breaking the silence and suffering. Ten years ago the National Strategy for Suicide Prevention was launched. Its objectives galvanized the country around a common goal. As a result, we have advanced the science and support for suicide prevention programs nationwide.

New suicide prevention work has emerged across the Departments of Defense, Veterans Affairs, Health and Human Services and others. One notable achievement is the establishment of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-TALK (8255), a number that can be dialed anywhere in the United States to connect the caller with confidential and expert help.

To accelerate the action needed to prevent suicide, former Secretary of Defense Robert Gates and Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius launched the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention with the charge to advance and update the National Strategy. The Action Alliance brings together public, private and nonprofit partners to engage every sector of society with a vision of ending the tragic experience of suicide in America.

Facebook is an important part of that partnership, and the new initiative to augment its response to potentially suicidal members by offering the opportunity for a private chat with a trained crisis representative from the Suicide Prevention Lifeline in addition to providing the Lifeline’s phone number. This service will be available to people who use Facebook in the United States and Canada.

The new service enables Facebook users to report a suicidal comment they see posted by a friend to Facebook using either the Report Suicidal Content link or the report links found throughout the site. The person who posted the suicidal comment will then immediately receive an e-mail from Facebook encouraging them to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or to click on a link to begin a confidential chat session with a crisis worker.

Preventing suicide is everyone’s business. Nearly 100 Americans die by suicide every day, and in the past year, more than eight million Americans 18 or older had thought seriously about suicide. As members of a family, a school, business, neighborhood, faith communities, friends, and our government, we all need to work together to solve this problem.

We simply can no longer allow those we live, work and play with to ever believe that suicide is an acceptable solution even in the worst of times. Everyone needs to learn about the symptoms of mental illnesses and substance abuse, the warning signs of suicide, how to stand with and support someone who is in crisis, and how to get someone you care about the help they need.

Most of all, we need to be open to talking about these issues in our communities. Once we begin to support those in need, and whenever possible treat their mental and substance use disorders with the same urgency as any other health condition, we will reduce the rates of suicide, advance health and improve the use of limited health care dollars.

Learn more about the partnership between Facebook, SAMHSA and the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

Sex Education: 20 New Trends for Parents to Know About

2011-12-17T08:59:00.000-08:00

Parenting includes many sensitive talks with our children, however the birds and the bees still remains one of the most difficult for many parents.

Why?

It seems we are starting it a younger age than generations earlier!

Sex education isn’t necessarily something people like to talk about, but it’s certainly necessary. Without sex education (and often, even with), teens can get into trouble with pregnancy, abortion, STDs, and even AIDS, all of which can have a negative impact on their lives and future happiness. Awareness and education are important, but they’re not always the same. Sex education has changed considerably in recent years, with abstinence-only education, sex education for younger children, and more, so it’s worth taking a look at some new developments in the field. Read on, and we’ll discuss 20 new trends that are going on in sex education right now.

Mandating medically accurate sex education
It seems like a no-brainer, but many states have recently enacted bills that would require medical accuracy in school sex education. We have to wonder what’s been put out that’s not accurate, but at least these states are working to get it right now. Typically, the educational programs are required to be in accordance with “accepted scientific methods and recognized as accurate and objective by professional organizations and agencies with expertise in the relevant field, such as the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the American Public Health Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.”
Teens aren’t learning about contraception before they have sex
Sexual activity is common by the late teen years with 7 in 10 teens engaging in intercourse by their 19th birthday. But many students who have engaged in sex report that they didn’t learn about contraceptive use before getting started. In a Guttmacher Institute fact sheet on American teens’ sources of information about sex, 46% of males and 36% of females reported that they didn’t receive formal instructions about contraception before having sex for the first time.
Kids are learning about sex from outside of school
This is obvious to most, but the majority of sex education actually takes place outside of school. Kids learn about sex from porn, TV, and pop culture these days. Stars like singer Solange Knowles lend their time and image to campaigns that promote safe sex, and even death metal bands get in on the action.
Sex education for younger children
Sex education can start as young as third grade, although that education doesn’t necessarily involve explicit sex explanations. For third graders in China, sex education starts in the form of a toilet tour, in which children get the opportunity to peek into the other gender’s bathroom to better understand the differences in their bodies and behaviors. Students also view presentations about sperm fertilizing eggs.
Many sex ed programs are abstinence-only
According to the CDC, about 1/3 of sex education omits the use of birth control, engaging in the controversial abstinence-only sex education that has been both lauded and criticized. However, about 2/3 of teens got instruction in birth control before graduating from high school: about 62% of boys and 70% of girls. Research suggests that comprehensive sex education that includes both abstinence and birth control began to decline from 1995 to 2002 and has not changed much since then.
Federal funding mandates prohibit educating students about contraception
Since 1997, the federal government has invested more than $1.5 billion into abstinence-only programs, which require schools to avoid teaching about birth control in order to receive federal funding for sex education. These programs must adhere to a strict eight-point definition of education, with the “exclusive purpose of teaching the social, psychological, and health gains to be realized by abstaining from sexual activity.” Critics point out that the eight-point definition is not created by “evidence-based, public health and social science research,” but rather, a values agenda put in place by Congress.
Elementary schools are passing out condoms
Schools passing out condoms to students is not a new idea, but some schools are taking things a step further and making them available to virtually all ages. In Provincetown, Massachusetts, one school will allow students as young as first grade to get free condoms, as long as they listen to a talk about sex education beforehand. The program is a move to decrease teen pregnancy. While the superintendent recognizes that first graders and other young elementary school children probably don’t know what condoms are and won’t ask for them, parents are worried that just by having them available, students are going to get the message that it’s acceptable to have sex at such a young age.
Almost all sex-ed programs teach about AIDS and STDs
Almost all students will learn about AIDS and STDs, a move that is smart for stopping the spread of disease. About 97% of teens report receiving formal sex education by the age of 18, and about 92% of boys and girls report being taught about STDs, including preventing infection with the AIDS virus. This may cut down on the spread of AIDS and STDs now and in the future among young people who are sexually active.
Teen males will use more condoms if they learn about them
Although federal funding mandates abstinence-only education, research has shown that formal sex education, regardless of whether it includes information about birth control or not, leads to greater condom use among teen males. So even though teen males may not be educated about condoms, being informed about sexuality seems to increase responsibility. According to Condom Use and Consistency Among Male Adolescents in the United States, “the critical factor for male condom use and consistency is the presence of any formal instruction.”
Schools are testing students on health and sex education
Washington DC public schools annually test student progress in reading and math, and now, they are testing what students know about sexuality, contraception, and drug use as well. This is a bold move in a city with some of the country’s highest rates of sexual transmitted diseases and teen pregnancies. Officials share that the test will fill gaps in what they understand about young people’s awareness and why they behave a certain way. According to Brian Pick, deputy chief of curriculum and instruction for DC Public Schools, “it paints a fuller picture.” Adam Tenner, executive director of MetroTeenAIDS, believes the new test is positive, pointing out that “what gets measured gets done.”

States who denied abstinence-only funding typically have teen pregnancy rates under the national average
There is a correlation between abstinence-only education and high teen pregnancy rates. In 2005, states who did not receive federal funding for teaching abstinence-only education typically had teen pregnancy rates that were under the national average. Abortion rates also tended to be lower in those states, indicating that students with comprehensive sex education may have more favorable outcomes.
Masturbation isn’t really discussed
Although abstinence is discussed as an option in virtually every sex education program, whether birth control is mentioned or not, masturbation is hit or miss. Some teachers believe that discussing personal or mutual masturbation can be beneficial to students who want to explore sexuality without the risk of STDs and pregnancy, but others believe that teaching students about masturbation, and mutual masturbation in particular, may just be a prelude to intercourse.
Sex education curriculum often has distorted information
Parents and students trust sex education programs to teach accurate information, but according to Advocates for Youth, sex education curriculum often includes distorted information. A 2004 study by the House Government Reform Committee took a look at commonly used curricula and found that they contained unproven claims, subjective conclusions, and outright falsehoods, including the “facts” that “half of gay male teenagers in the US have tested positive for HIV,” “condoms fail to prevent HIV transmission as often as 31 percent of the time in heterosexual intercourse,” and “as many as 10 percent of women who have an abortion become sterile.”
Sex education programs with both abstinence and contraceptive education can create favorable outcomes
Advocates for Youth points out that considerable scientific evidence supports the idea that sex education programs including both abstinence and contraception can help teens delay sexual activity, increase contraceptive use, and have fewer sexual partners when they start having sex. The group also believes that youth development programs that engage young people constructively in communities and schools are helpful. Specifically, Advocates for Youth identifies characteristics of effective curricula, including programs that last more than a few weeks, address peer pressure, and reflect the appropriate age, sexual experience, and culture of the students in the program.
Virginity pledges
Some teens and young adults have begun to commit to virginity pledges, often as part of church programs. Studies have found that these pledges can delay vaginal intercourse, however, pledgers often replace it with other sexual activities including oral sex and anal sex, both of which do not reduce the incidence of sexually transmitted diseases. Some studies indicate that virginity pledges may reduce the likelihood of contraceptive use once pledgers engage in sex. The first virginity pledge program was created in 1993, by the name of True Love Waits, started at the Southern Baptist Convention, with now more than 2.5 million pledgers.
Teens are having less sex
Although parents and concerned citizens worry that today’s teens are having more sex than ever, a CDC survey, Teenagers in the United States: Sexual Activity, Contraceptive Use, and Childbearing indicates that teens’ levels of sexual experience have decreased. The numbers of teens who have had sexual intercourse at least once have not changed significantly, and that number has been in overall decline over the last 20 years. As Examiner.com points out, that means today’s teens are less likely to be sexually experienced than their parents were as teens.
Teens don’t learn about the connection between AIDS and anal sex
Researchers at the Bradley Hasbro Children’s Research Center discovered that anal sex is on the rise among teens and young adults. They say that girls are often persuaded to try anal sex to have sex without risking pregnancy or their virginity, but don’t understand the health consequences. Even students who can recite how you get AIDS may not understand how exactly it translates to their behavior, thinking that they can’t get AIDS because they’re not having vaginal sex. In fact, anal sex can be more risky for HIV infection, as tissue may tear and cause direct blood exposure to infected fluids. Lead author Celia Lescano remarks, “There is no doubt that teens lack information about STDs and the safety of different behaviors and they they are engaging in more sexual experimentation.”
Some states leave sex-ed curriculum up to local school districts
In some states, sexual education curriculum is variable among different school districts, with differences in what is taught and how it’s presented. In Connecticut, for example, the state leaves it all up to local school districts, allowing them to decide what is taught about sex education. The state does, however, offer guidelines on what it believes should be taught, and all public school districts do offer at least basic health education for high school students, and state law requires school districts to teach about HIV. Bonnie Edmondson, a health education consultant at the Connecticut Department of Education shares, “It is a local control issue. The communities have a feel for what is best.”
Teens want more input from parents
Although most teens are at an age when they are pushing their parents away on a regular basis, the fact is that they would like more input from their parents when it comes to sex education. In Baker County, Florida, teens don’t believe they’re getting adequate sex education from parents or teachers, and they shared that parents need to find better ways to discuss sex with their kids. Some teens pointed out that sex education is first and foremost the parents’ responsibility, and they need to find ways to make the topic less awkward to bring up. They also note that teens learn more about sex from their peers than their parents, and that’s not necessarily a good thing.
The elderly are getting sex education as well
Schoolkids aren’t the only ones learning about sex these days. The elderly are finding value in sex education as well. In Malaysia, one state is providing sex education for the elderly to stop rising divorce rates. Family development foundation head Mohamad Shafaruddin Mustafa notes, “Many elderly couples sleep in separate bedrooms and are not intimate. This is unhealthy as they can still have vibrant intimate relationships, especially with all kinds of therapy and health supplements now available.” With sex education, elderly couples can better learn how to reconnect and enjoy their sexual relationship together.

Source: Best Colleges Online

Holiday Gifts for Teens: New Study - Teens Prefer Cell Phones over a New Car!

2011-12-11T11:56:00.000-08:00

Teenagers prefer smartphones to cars, according to research firm Gartner, highlighting the impact of technology on kids and the auto industry’s future challenges.

The study found 46 percent of young adults aged 18 to 24 prefer access to the Internet over access to their own car, and that teens drive less overall today than they did in past generations. Comparatively, only 15 percent of baby boomers said they would choose a mobile device over an automobile.

The advent of social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter is likely responsible, as they create an interactive, fun world that’s accessible anytime, from almost anywhere. For teenagers who want to stay connected to their friends, social networks provides an ideal platform for communication.

Public transportation and hitching rides from parents also give teenagers more time to stay connected to their social world via their smartphones, making driving seem an unnecessary hassle that interrupts their social life.

Thilo Koslowski, lead automotive analyst for Gartner, said, “Mobile devices, gadgets and the Internet are becoming must-have lifestyle products that convey status,” and devices “offer a degree of freedom and social reach that previously only the automobile offered.”

To keep up with the trend, the auto industry has gradually begun integrating smartphone-type features like built-in GPS devices, Bluetooth, and iPod docks into their newest car models. In the future, auto makers may increase such features in hopes of making cars more of a “must have” for teens.

“We are not looking at this to ask how we can get teens to buy a car versus an iPhone,” says K. Venkatesh Prasad, senior technical leader of open innovation at Ford. “Instead, the car has to become more than just a car. It has to become an experience.”

Parents, meanwhile, may sleep a little easier knowing their kids are at home and not out engaging in dangerous behaviors like texting while driving. The trend may also be easier on the family finances, as parents won’t be pressured to buy an expensive automobile for their teens.

However, concerns have been raised about whether social networking can ever truly replace face-to-face social interaction. Teens need a balance of online interaction and real time hanging out with friends. The balance can be difficult to attain, since the lure of social networks can be all-consuming.
The auto industry hopes the open road still holds a classic allure, but how teens navigate that road may change in the near future. Automatic Foursquare check-ins and voice recognition systems are already being tested in cars, marking a new trajectory for teens and the auto industry alike.

Source: Mobiledia.

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Teens and Money: Financial Literacy

2011-12-02T12:10:00.000-08:00

Holidays are here, people are spending money.

What role model are you setting for your kids?

Approximately fifteen hundred high school seniors were recently asked basic facts about personal finance, and the great majority were stumped for answers. The results were not promising for our children’s future:

REALITY CHECK: 95% of teens surveyed scored below a C in financial literacy.

Wonder why? Another survey finds a key reason for teens’ low financial scores:

REALITY CHECK: 80% of all college freshman admit to never having a conversation with their parents about managing their money. What’s more, almost one in four of these same teens say it’s just fine to blow as much as $500 without checking in with their parents.

The findings are hardly a proud parenting moment, but I also hope you are starting to get my drift.

The truth is too many kids are flunking financial literacy and one big reason may be that we’ve failed to teach our children a few essential “money smart lessons.”
If you’re concerned about your kids’ future spending habits, then start your money talk now and there’s no better time than these next few weeks. Newspapers will be filled with coupons and penny savers. Television ads for holidays “deals” will air non-stop. Teen magazines will feature those supposed holiday “in” gadgets and “must have” items. Those are also perfect opportunities to let your kids know that money doesn’t come easy. It’s also the time to review that you do have clear expectations and limits about your family’s spending during the holidays. Here are a few ways to weave in those crucial money chats over the coming weeks with your kids.
Kids look to us as the example to copy so how are you doing in modeling money smarts to your children? Are your kids seeing you cut out those coupons? Waiting for the right price?
Displaying smart spending habits? Prioritizing your must-haves? Beware that your children learn spending and saving habits from you. How are you doing?

Monitor TV Consumption: Television is the one of the biggest culprits in fueling kids’ spending urges, and commercials are relentless in trying to get kids to buy, buy, buy. Research also shows that media impacts our children’s money attitudes and increases materialism. During the next few weeks those retailers will be pushing products and urging your kids to spend. So beware of those advertisements! Do take time to explain to your kids the real intention of those advertisers.
Use Real-Life Examples: Take your child shopping with you. I dare ya! But when–or if–you do, show him how you compare prices. Explain to her how you look for bargains. Use those outings as teaching moments that do instill good shopping habits.
Teach Bargain Hunting: If your kids are purchasing gifts for siblings (or even you!) get them involved inchecking out those penny saver ads. Have them clip out coupons. Tune your kids into the bargains at those dollar stores. Hit the outlet malls, and don’t overlook thrift stores and even garage sales. And tell them to watch for sales! Grandma will never know if her present was ten dollars less because Johnny waited to buy until sales day.
Cut Impulsive Shopping: Set a household rule that your child must write down any pricier intended purchase, and then postpone buying it for at least twenty-four hours. It’s a great way to teach kids to delay gratification and to “Think” before spending. A younger kid can draw it on her “wish list.”The wait time could vary from an hour or day to a week or month depending on the child’s age and maturity. If your kid loses interest before the time is up, even she will agree that she didn’t really want that item after all.
Teach “Wants vs. Needs”: This is the “Gotta Have It NOW Generation” so a big step in helping today’s kids learn to be smart spenders is teaching the difference between “want it…” vs. “need it.” The trick is to get your kids to assess what they already have that is still in good shape and can be recycled, what’s missing and then what’s really needed is on the “need” list and holiday request list. Now your kids can create a holiday wish list based on real needs not wants to help prioritize spending.
Do One Store Shopping to Boost Consumer Skills: Your kids planning to do their own holiday shopping? If so, this is a great way to help teach them consumer skills. Consider choosing just one store that has the best bargains to take the kids this year (like Wall Mart, Target, K-Mart) for their gift-buying. By announcing, “We’re shopping only at this store,” the kids are forced to look for the best bargains in one place and you won’t find yourself driving to multiple stores (and bringing back multiple items). This is also the time for them to bring their coupons and shopping lists. Make sure you also have them compare prices of items so they understand value.
Consider After-Holidays Gift Buying: Seriously! I know more families who realize the best deals are December 26. Those parents set a new rule: “You receive a few items under the tree but wait for that pricier item the day after the holidays.” The kids learn to appreciate the value of a good deal, the parents are grateful to save a ton of money, and the whole family enjoys that day after shopping outing for everyone’s “one special–and better-priced-gift.”

Special contributor: Parenting Expert, Dr. Michele Borba

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Michele Borba is the author of over 25 parenting books including The Big Book of Parenting Solutions.

When Teen Drinking Becomes Drunkorexia

2011-11-27T08:41:00.000-08:00

At first, "drunkorexia" may sound like kind of a funny word, jokingly made up to describe a situation in which college students and others forgo food in order to be able to afford more alcohol and feel higher effects of alcohol on an empty stomach. But what some may brush off as crazy college-kid behavior is actually a serious problem that can have highly damaging consequences both in long- and short-term health.

Of course, that hasn't stopped college students from engaging in this unhealthy trend, and a study at the University of Missouri-Columbia indicated that one in six students had practiced drunkorexia within the last year. Typically, drunkorexia is done by women; the study showed that three out of four drunkorexia respondents were female.

Students may not realize that drunkorexia is incredibly damaging to their health, but the fact remains that the practice puts them at risk for problems like sexually transmitted diseases, malnutrition, and even seizures and comas. Specifically, the University of Missouri study indicates that drunkorexia may lead to:

Sexually transmitted diseases
HIV
Drunk driving
Injury risk
Perpetrating or being a victim of sexual assault
Passing out
Malnutrition
Cognitive disabilities
Heart problems
Seizures
Comas
Organ failures

All of the possible effects are disturbing, but perhaps the most worrisome are heart problems and cognitive disabilities that can stem from drunkorexia-induced malnutrition. STDs, injury, or sexual assault are without a doubt difficult to bounce back from, but malnutrition-induced heart problems and cognitive disabilities are something you just can't take back.

Cognitive problems are especially disturbing for college students, as they can result in "difficulty concentrating, studying, and making decisions." These are long-term health issues brought on by drunkorexia that can follow a college student for the rest of her life. That is, assuming that the student survives past the possibility of seizures, comas, and organ failure.

So it seems that a practice that may be approached lightheartedly is in fact a very serious problem that doesn't just stop with fun (and possible weight loss) one night. Used as a regular practice, drunkorexia can scar you for life and even end in death. And although the long-term effects are certainly frightening, the short-term possibilities of drunkorexia aren't incredibly easy hurdles to get over, either. Just one night of drunkorexia can have serious consequences, with higher levels of intoxication and starvation putting students at risk for dangerous behavior.

At high levels of intoxication, students lose the ability to make good decisions, which can lead to dangerous situations like having unprotected sex, or even being involved in a rape, driving drunk, and becoming injured as a result of stunts, fights, or simply an inability to function properly. In addition to these risks, just one night of intense drinking on an empty stomach can lead to blackouts, hospitalization, and death from alcohol poisoning.

Clearly, drunkorexia has serious and lasting consequences, even for students who aren't repeat offenders.

Source: Online College

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Teen Depression: Know How your Teen is Feeling - Check their FB Status

2011-11-18T11:53:00.000-08:00

"Forgive me."
"When will this end?"
"I hate my life"

RED FLAGS and parenting. Know them!

Facebook is the social hangout of the internet for all ages, but it is particularly true of teenagers.
Teenagers often are much more open about what they are thinking and feeling in this cyber environment than most older adults. Since teens experience many emotional ups and downs, it can be easy to dismiss most of their dramatic postings as nothing more than normal teenage drama. However, there have been too many instances in recent years when parents had wished they’d paid more attention to what their teenager had posted as their ‘current status’.
Here a few status updates parents should watch for and investigate further.

I can’t take it anymore. Although, this could mean anything from homework overload to sibling irritation, it could also be a cry for help from a teen who is truly overwhelmed with life in someway. It is not a status update that you want to ignore. Parents should take the initiative and find out what prompted this entry.
Text me. This may seem innocent enough, but, for some parents, it may be a signal that their teen may be trying to keep something hidden that needs to be in the open. Privacy and protection are always a fine line to walk with teenagers. Parents, however, should never hesitate to ask about the reason behind such a post.
Really loaded right now. If your teen is high enough to make this post on Facebook without thinking about the fact that their parents might see it, there is drug or alcohol abuse going on. Ignoring these types of problems does not make them go away.
Depressing song lyrics. Song lyrics are popular posts from teens. It may be what they’re listening to at the moment or a song that is running through their head. If the lyrics of the songs are continually negative and depressing, this could be an indication of the teen’s emotional state, as well.
No one understands. This is a common feeling during teenage years, but it is also one that can develop into a true depressive state. Seeing this posted as your teen’s Facebook status should raise enough concern for their parents to pursue the reasons behind the posting.
I hate my life. Again, this is not an unusual statement to come from a teen at different points in their adolescence, however, posting it as your Facebook status is similar to shouting it from the rooftops. It is always better to treat these statements seriously, than to ignore them as a simple impulse statement.
Forgive me, Mom & Dad. This kind of post would be one that should require immediate connection with your child. If it doesn’t mention what they are asking forgiveness for, it may be a subtle plea for you to stop them from doing something terrible. Take this very seriously!
You’re all going to die. In light of the terrible things we have seen happen in our schools, a teen who posts something like this should not be ignored. “I was just joking” is not an acceptable explanation for this type of post. A teen who posts such a statement publicly should expect inquiry from, not only his parents, but school and law enforcement as well.
I wish I were dead. Never assume these statements are words only. Any type of suicidal expression like this should be taken very seriously. Many parents have had the misfortune of finding out that even a verbal statement can be an indication of suicidal thoughts. A public posting of that thought should be taken just as seriously.
I hate my school. The key word in this status update is ‘my’. It doesn’t say ‘I hate school’, it is more specific than that. It would behoove the parents to find out what it is, about the child’s school, that made them post this statement, and what can be done to improve the situation.

Facebook status updates reach a lot of people, a parent of a teenager should definitely be one of those people who pays attention to what their child is broadcasting into cyberspace. It may be their way of trying to find out if anyone is really paying attention, and if anyone really cares.

Source: My ISP Finder

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Words Kill: Abuse Bites - It's not just bullying anymore - It is suicide

2011-11-12T08:03:00.000-08:00

Words kill - literally!
Bullying and cyberbullying is rapidly spreading and harming our kids today.
Some being driven to suicide - why? Because words do kill!

The stats are disturbing:

· 42% of kids have been bullied while online.
· 35% of kids have been threatened online.
· 21% of kids have received mean or threatening e-mail or other messages.
· 58% of kids admit someone has said mean or hurtful things to them online.
· 53% of kids admit having said something mean or hurtful to another person online.
· 58% have not told their parents or an adult about something mean or hurtful that happened to them online.

51% of teen girls say pressure from a guy is a reason girls send sexy messages or images
44% of both teen girls and teen boys say it is common for sexually suggestive text messages to get shared with people other than the intended recipient.
Middle school cyberbullying victims are more apt to commit suicide
Suicide rates among 10-14 yr. olds have risen over 50% the last 3 decades

Abuse Bites was created by Lisa Freeman who is an abuse survivor.
Many don't realize that bullying isn't just limited to kids and teens. Adult bullying is more prevalent that many know.

Abuse Bites Workshops Aim to Educate & Train employers and workers alike how to defeat bullying and make the workforce a more enjoyable, safer, and productive place.

Drugs and Teens: Know the risks and dangers

2011-11-07T07:34:00.000-08:00

Learn more about today's drugs and what our kids are using and dealing on the street. Be a parent in the know - you will have safer and healthier teens.

Anabolic Steroids—Hand out this "damage diagram" activity and help kids understand the big picture about steroids' side effects.
Brain & Addiction—Try this activity to get the brain going and the discussion flowing.
Ecstasy—Find out how much your students know or don't know about ecstasy. Have them try this quiz.
HIV, AIDS, and Drug Abuse—Teach your children/students the connection between drugs and HIV infection.
Inhalants—Students will learn how the chemicals in inhalants can change how the brain and body work by finding their match.
Marijuana—A friend on "weed" is a friend in need-of your kids' knowledge. Download and discuss this email-writing activity.
Prescription Drug Abuse—Have your students take this quiz to learn more about the dangers of prescription drug abuse.
Stimulants—Help your children/students better understand the symptoms and consequences of stimulant abuse by having them fill in the missing blanks of this diagnostic report.
Tobacco Addiction—Try this matching activity in class to help kids understand nicotine's causes and effects.
Mind Over Matter—This series is designed to encourage young people in grades five through nine to learn about the effects of drug abuse on the body and the brain.
Mind Over Matter Teacher's Guide—Use this Teacher's Guide in conjunction with the Mind Over Matter magazine series to promote an understanding of the physical reality of drug use, as well as curiosity about neuroscience.

Need more help? Visit www.HelpYourTeens.com.

Sex, AIDS, HIV, Drugs and Teens

2011-11-02T11:41:00.000-07:00

It's only sex.....or is it?

October 31st through November 6th is National Drug Facts Week.

This is an opportunity to shatter the myths about drug and substance abuse as well as become an educated parent and build a stronger drug-free community.

What Are HIV and AIDS?

HIV (human immunodeficiency virus) is the virus that causes AIDS (acquired immune deficiency syndrome). AIDS is a disease of the immune system that has treatment options, but no cure, at the present time. Most people just say “HIV/AIDS” when they are talking about either the virus (HIV) or the disease it causes (AIDS).

HIV is a blood-borne virus. That means it can spread when the blood or bodily fluids of someone who’s infected comes in contact with the blood, broken skin, or mucous membranes of an uninfected person. Sharing needles or other equipment used for injection drug use and engaging in risky sexual behaviors are the two main ways that HIV is spread. Infected pregnant women also can pass HIV to their babies during pregnancy, delivery, and breastfeeding.

HIV destroys certain cells, called CD4+ cells, in the immune system—that’s the body’s disease fighting department. Without these cells, a person with HIV can’t fight off germs and diseases. In fact, loss of these cells in people with HIV is a key predictor of the development of AIDS. Because of their weakened immune system, people with AIDS often develop infections of the lungs, brain, eyes, and other organs, and many suffer dangerous weight loss, diarrhea, and a type of cancer called Kaposi's sarcoma.

The good news is that HIV isn’t the death sentence it was when the epidemic began, thanks in large part to a treatment called HAART (highly active antiretroviral therapy). HAART is a combination of three or more antiretroviral medications that can hold back the virus and prevent or decrease symptoms of illness.

How Many People Have HIV/AIDS?

HIV/AIDS has been a global epidemic for more than 25 years; today's youth have never known a world without it. In the United States, the estimates indicate that more than 1 million people are living with HIV or AIDS.

It is estimated that in 2009, approximately 35,000 people were diagnosed with AIDS. During that same year, the estimated number of HIV diagnoses in U.S. areas where this information is collected (it isn’t collected in all 50 states) was 42,959. However, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that close to one-quarter of the people in the United States who are infected with HIV do not know they are infected.

Can You Tell if Someone Is Infected With HIV or Has AIDS?

You cannot tell by looking at them if someone is infected with HIV. A person can be infected with HIV for many years, and the virus may or may not progress to the disease of AIDS. A medical test is the only way to know if a person has HIV or has developed AIDS.

How Are Drug Abuse and HIV Related?

Drug abuse and addiction have been closely linked with HIV/AIDS since the beginning of the epidemic. Although injection drug use is well known in this regard, the role that non-injection drug abuse plays more generally in the spread of HIV is less recognized.

Injection drug use. People typically associate drug abuse and HIV/AIDS with injection drug use and needle sharing. Injection drug use refers to when a drug is injected into a tissue or vein with a needle. When injection drug users share “equipment”—such as needles, syringes, and other drug injection paraphernalia—HIV can be transmitted between users. Other infections—such as hepatitis C—can also be spread this way. Hepatitis C can cause liver disease and permanent liver damage.

Poor judgment and risky behavior. Drug abuse by any method (not just injection) can put a person at risk for contracting HIV. Drug and alcohol intoxication affect the way a person makes decisions and can lead to unsafe sexual practices, which puts them at risk for getting HIV or transmitting it to someone else.

Biological effects of drugs. Drug abuse and addiction can worsen the progression of HIV and its consequences, especially in the brain. For example, research has shown that HIV causes more harm to nerve cells in the brain and greater cognitive damage among people who abuse methamphetamine than among people with HIV who do not abuse drugs. In animal studies, methamphetamine has been shown to increase the amount of HIV in brain cells.

Drug abuse treatment. Since the late 1980s, researchers have found that if you treat drug abuse you can prevent the spread of HIV. When people who have a drug problem enter treatment, they stop or reduce their drug use and related risk behaviors, including drug injection and unsafe sexual practices. Drug treatment programs also serve an important role in getting out good information on HIV/AIDS and related diseases, providing counseling and testing services, and offering referrals for medical and social services.

How Are Teens Affected?

Young people are at risk for contracting HIV and developing AIDS. According to CDC, more than 50,000 young people age 13 to 24 in the United States had been diagnosed with AIDS by the end of 2009. In the past, most of those cases were in adolescent males. That ratio is changing as more females become infected.
In youth, as in adults, some populations are disproportionately affected. That means that some populations are more affected than others. For example, Blacks/African Americans age 13 to 19 represent only 17 percent of the U.S. teenage population, but accounted for more than 70 percent of the HIV infections among people age 13 to 19 in 2009. The reasons for this gap aren’t completely understood; in fact, Black/African American youth have lower rates of drug abuse than Whites and Hispanics. This remains a strong research priority for NIDA.

In general, middle and late adolescence is a time when young people engage in risk-taking and sensation-seeking behaviors that may put them in jeopardy of contracting HIV. Regardless of whether a young person takes drugs, unsafe sexual practices increase a person's risk of contracting HIV. But drugs and alcohol can increase the chances of unsafe behavior by altering judgment and decision making.

How Can Teens Protect Themselves?

The best way to protect yourself is to stay healthy and think clearly. Choose not to use drugs. Know that drug use can change the way the brain functions, thereby affecting the way people make decisions and weigh risks.
Why Is NIDA Studying HIV and AIDS?
Since the HIV/AIDS epidemic began, injection drug use has accounted for about one-third of the AIDS cases in the United States. We now know that the poor judgment and impaired critical thinking that can result from non-injection drug abuse also can contribute in a big way to the spread of this lethal virus through risky behavior.
What Can I Do To Help?
Go to http://hiv.drugabuse.gov/index.html for more information on learning the link between drug abuse and HIV/AIDS. On World AIDS Day—every December 1—participate by spreading the word that drug abuse and HIV/AIDS can shorten lives. Tell your friends what you've learned and how they can avoid infection.

Source: NIDA

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Text Talk - What is your teen really saying?

2011-10-26T04:33:00.000-07:00

Whether it is texting, instant messaging, or social networking – do you really know what your teenager is saying? They seem to have their own language and codes for things parents may not approve of.
One of my favorite new sites is Enough is Enough! And how many times as parents do we say this?

Do you feel overwhelmed about protecting children from the dangers of the virtual world?

Who doesn’t?

When it comes to teens it can be more difficult and even more important to be a parent in the know.

Let’s start with 50 Acronyms Parents Should Know:
(Courtesy of Enough is Enough and NetLingo)

8 - Oral sex
1337 - Elite -or- leet -or- L337
143 - I love you
182 - I hate you
1174 - Nude club
420 - Marijuana
459 - I love you
ADR - Address
AEAP - As Early As Possible
ALAP - As Late As Possible
ASL - Age/Sex/Location
CD9 - Code 9 – it means parents are around
C-P - Sleepy
F2F - Face-to-Face
GNOC - Get Naked On Cam
GYPO - Get Your Pants Off
HAK - Hugs And Kisses
ILU - I Love You
IWSN - I Want Sex Now
J/O - Jerking Off
KOTL - Kiss On The Lips
KFY -or- K4Y - Kiss For You
KPC - Keeping Parents Clueless
LMIRL - Let’s Meet In Real Life
MOOS - Member Of The Opposite Sex
MOSS - Member(s) Of The Same Sex
MorF - Male or Female
MOS - Mom Over Shoulder
MPFB - My Personal F*** Buddy
NALOPKT - Not A Lot Of People Know That
NIFOC - Nude In Front Of The computer
NMU - Not Much, You?
P911 - Parent Alert
PAL - Parents Are Listening
PAW - Parents Are Watching
PIR - Parent In Room
POS - Parent Over Shoulder -or- Piece Of Sh**
pron - porn
Q2C - Quick To Cum
RU/18 - Are You Over 18?
RUMORF - Are You Male OR Female?
RUH - Are You Horny?
S2R - Send To Receive
SorG - Straight or Gay
TDTM - Talk Dirty To Me
WTF - What The F***
WUF - Where You From
WYCM - Will You Call Me?
WYRN - What’s Your Real Name?
zerg - To gang up on someone

Be an educated parent – you will have safer teens!

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Teen Help for Struggling Teens

2011-10-19T07:10:00.000-07:00

Are you wondering what happened to once happy-go-lucky, kind, polite and studious child went?

Teens can be a challenge – especially in today’s ever changing world with technology and a society that is making our kids grow up so much faster.

Common parent statements:

“My teen is so smart! His/her IQ is superior, but they are not working up to their potential.”
“My teen is so beautiful/handsome – good looking – even has many friends.” (Of course, the peer group has changed and you don’t know why.)
“My teen is very athletic! He/she made the varsity team at a young age, has won all sorts of awards, but now has dropped out and has zero interest in this sport.”

How to be a perfect parent?

There is no such thing as a perfect parent, however there is such a thing as being an educated parent. This is not about book smarts or academics, it is about first hand experiences from parents that have been where you are.

Becoming an educated parent in the teen help industry is possible with Parent’s Universal Resource Experts.

Blame Game and Parent Denial

Not my kid, it is the kids he/she is hanging with.

My child was caught with pot, but he swears it was his friend’s.

It’s the schools fault.

If I only had sent him to another school.

If I only had given into the cell phone.

His grandparents spoil him rotten.

When is it appropriate to read your teen’s journal, text messages, emails, social networking sites etc?
When safety triumphs privacy! Is your teen withdrawn, secretive, changing friends?
Be a parent first, friendship is built on that foundation.

Common mistakes parents make:

Major misconception of parents: Almost all parents that contact us have that next Einstein or Dan Marino, but the fact they are either changing friends, smoking pot, not attending classes or school at all, wanting to drop out of school all together and just get a GED, are all signs you are heading down a very negative path. This road usually escalates before it gets better.

Get help today – contact www.HelpYourTeens.com.

PEERx: Who is your teen hanging with?

2011-10-14T11:22:00.000-07:00

What path will your teen choose?

National Drug Facts Week is Monday, October 31st through Sunday, November 6th, 2011.

Sponsored by the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), National Drug Facts Week is an annual official health observance designed to shatter the myths and spread the facts about drug abuse and addiction.

National Drug Facts Week (NDFW) is a health observance week for teens that aims to shatter the myths about drugs and drug abuse. Through community-‐based events and activities on the Web, on TV, and through contests, NIDA is working to encourage teens to get factual answers from scientific experts about drugs and drug abuse. Download the NDFW Info Sheet!

PeerX: RX abuse is drug abuse.

Over and over again parents will say that it isn't their kid, it is the peer group they are hanging with.

Really?

Isn't it your teen making the choice to be with them?

Until parents move out of denial, it is almost impossible to get your teen help. Not only is it the teen that has to admit they have a problem, the parents have to face the fact that their child is making some very poor choices. As with many parents, they are afraid of the stigma - afraid of what family or friends will think, but what about your teens future? Doesn't that take priority?

Are you ignoring teen drug use signs?
Check out 10 quick tips to help prevent teen drug use: Click here.

Do you have a teen that you suspect is using drugs? Have you exhausted all your local resources? Take the time to learn about residential therapy, visit www.HelpYourTeens.com. Each teen and family are unique, there are many teen help programs, knowing how to locate the one best for you can be a challenge, however Parents’ Universal Resource Experts can help, starting with a free consultation.

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Be an educated parent, you will have healthier teens.

Health Benefits of Video Games with Teens

2011-10-08T08:53:00.000-07:00

Since home video games were popularized in the '80s, killjoys have blamed them for almost every ill in society. Games have supposedly started wars, made children morbidly obese and caused people to shun the outside world, at least according to their theories. In reality, video games are an entertaining, sometimes time-consuming hobby that falls somewhere between watching TV and reading books.

Believe it or not, there is some good associated with parking yourself in front your favorite console each day. Perhaps you've experienced some of the following health benefits — and, even if you haven't, you can show them to your significant other to convince her/him that you haven't really been wasting massive amounts of time.

They comfort people with depression As with any mind-consuming activity that you thoroughly enjoy, gaming can serve as somewhat of an antidepressant. In the case of Bejeweled, a puzzle game in which players move gems into rows based on their colors, a study indicated that participants experience improved mood and heart rhythm from a session of play. Essentially, it helps people unwind and relax as if they're working on a crossword puzzle — something that certainly isn't viewed as an unhealthy activity.
They improve dexterity A study conducted by psychologists at the University of Rochester found that video game-playing surgical residents and surgeons who were tasked with performing a procedure were 24% faster, made 32% fewer errors and scored 26% better overall. Those percentages were even higher for those who played game in the past for more than three hours. The findings could open the door to training potential surgeons and scientists from an early age. Having surgery soon? You'll be better off if your surgeon is a gamer — imagine that.
They improve your eyesight Forget LASIK eye surgery — you can spend $60 on a video game and experience improvement in your vision. According to researchers at the University of Rochester, people who played action video games for a month were able to identify letters presented in clutter 20% better than before. Incredibly, results were shown after just 30 hours of play. When you play action games, your vision is tested to its limit, and the brain adjusts accordingly. The human body is pretty neat.
They improve social skills Gamers have been unfairly stereotyped through the years as socially inept, significant-other-less freaks who dwell in their parents' basements. The fact of the matter, given the sheer popularity of gaming, is that a variety of individuals with varying personalities compose the gaming community. As it turns out, World of Warcraft, a game that requires players to be social, teaches leadership and conflict resolution skills, according to a Swedish researcher. Although fans of the game may be viewed as cult-like, they're actually strengthening their ability to function in the outside world.
They improve knowledge retention Video games can be used for the specific purpose of advancing learning. A study conducted at the University of Kansas found they can impart specific knowledge. Researchers administered tests to three different groups, one of which prepared using a PowerPoint lecture and two of which prepared using a video game. Of course, the latter two groups demonstrated better knowledge retention. The advantage of using video games in this case may have been the mere fact that it requires active engagement of the mind, as opposed to almost thoughtlessly looking over slides.
They increase response time Amazing work is being done at the University of Rochester. In another much-welcomed study, researchers found that video games can provide a training regimen that increases visual reaction times while maintaining accuracy. Certain games require quick processing of sensory information, an activity that can be mastered with practice. If you're a fan of Halo or Call of Duty, take note — those skills could prove useful in other nonviolent endeavors.
They reduce stress Not only do video games serve as a distraction, but they can fight anger. Researchers at Texas A&M University found that playing violent video games, such as Call of Duty 2, gave players an outlet in which to take out their aggression, contradicting the numerous studies that have indicated the opposite. Thinking of going postal? Play Playstation instead.
They improve self esteem It always feels good to crush your opponent in Madden, which naturally makes you feel better about yourself. But did you know there have been games designed for the specific purpose of improving your self esteem? McGill University researchers focused on encouraging positive thoughts and positive attitudes in an effort to remove negative thought patterns. Of course, developing self-esteem is a bit more complex than just playing a video game, but it provides a good start for patterning behavior.
They actually help you exercise and lose weight One of the most obvious health benefits of modern gaming is physical, thanks to the creation of Wii and its exergaming offerings. The International Sports Sciences Association confirmed that such games are effective at getting kids off the couch and increasing their heart rates, a far cry from the stereotype that all gamers are obese oafs. Seniors seeking gentler exercise can play Wii fit, for example, to maintain their health, which is why many senior residences contain the gaming system.
They relieve pain Perhaps pain really is all in the mind. Once again, the key word is "distraction" here, as participating in games can take a player's mind off of their ailment, according to researchers at Emory University. It's most effective using virtual reality, which can transport a player into an entirely different virtual world. This type of therapy has been used with real patients, including those who've endured significant trauma. What's more, there are no side effects — beats the heck out of a lot of medications.

Source: Best Online Colleges

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Parent Teacher Conference Tips

2011-10-01T08:58:00.000-07:00

It was only a short time ago parents were scrambling to get school supplies and their kids ready for a new school year.

Now the time is nearing for parents.

Parent teacher conferences are usually set for October.

Are you ready?

Here are some tips to help you get the most from your time with your child's teachers.

Before the conference:

Check grades and teacher expectations. Many schools post student’s grades on their Student Information System. So review your child’s past work. There’s no reason to get caught off guard.
Jot questions and prioritize concerns. Take a few minutes to jot down questions for the teacher. Take those with you so you won’t forget to ask. Also, don’t forget to ask your kid if there is anything the teacher might tell you that you don’t know. (It’s always best to not be surprised.)
Meet your needs. If you need extra set of “ears” to be with you, you feel intimidated, or worry the teacher may use jargon you don’t understand, bring a friend (a neighbor, relative, older child). If you need a translator (language or sign), call the school to arrange one. Let the teacher know before the conference if you are in a contentious divorce or if your partner requests to come to the conference separately.
Block time. The teacher has scheduled only a set amount of time, so you will want to use every second wisely and not be distracted. Arrange a baby sitter for a younger child and allow ample time to get there.

Here are the four areas of learning to discuss during the conference:

Academic: Find out what your child’s strongest and weakest subjects are, how he compares to the other students and if he is keeping up with the workload. You might ask: “If you were to evaluate my child now, what would his grade and average test score be in each subject? "If the teacher uses educational terms that you’re not familiar with, ask for a simpler explanation. Ask to see specific examples of any academic problem so you know how to help or if a tutor might be helpful.
Social: Find out how your childgets along with others. Let the teacher know of any bullying or repeated peer rejection and create a safety plan. Ask for recommendations for a new friend if there are social problems.
Behavior: Find out how your child behaves around peers and adults and if he is showing up on time and prepared to learn. If there are behavior issues, get specifics: what the behavior looks like, the teacher’s discipline approach, any triggers or patterns (when and where the behavior usually happens), and how it is being resolved.
Emotional/health: Find out how your child is coping. Explain any home issues that could affect your child’s learning performance (a divorce, deployment, illness of a relative) and any serious allergies, sleep problems, medication, counseling or other health-related issues that the teacher should know about.

If your child is having any kind of problem in one or more of those four learning areas, then discuss strategies you and the teacher can do to help your child by creating common goals. Discuss how you will you know if things are improving or declining and if there's no improvement, ask what our “next step” will be and how the teacher would like to be contacted.

After your conference:

Go home, share what you learned with your child and parenting partner, and then commit to doing what you discussed. If you see that your child continues to struggle or you do not see improvement in a few weeks, or things get worse, call for another conference. If you still don’t get help, then it’s time to seek the help of the principal, vice-principal or counselor.

Special contributor: Michele Borba, Parenting Expert and author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions.

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Teen Dating Abuse and Violence: Know the Warning Signs

2011-09-26T07:58:00.000-07:00

Nation’s leading experts confirm college dating violence is a much larger problem than anyone realizes

Loveisrespect.org, the National Partnership to End Dating Abuse, launches new initiative to combat dating violence on college campuses nationwide

A new survey reveals dating violence and abuse to be surprisingly more prevalent among college students than previously believed. Nearly half of dating college women (43%) report having ever experienced violent or abusive dating behaviors, and more than one in five (22%) report actual physical abuse, sexual abuse or threats of physical violence. Despite the high number of students experiencing these types of abuse, more than one-third of college students (38%) say they would not know how to get help on campus if they found themselves in an abusive relationship.

The survey, “Liz Claiborne Inc.’s Love Is Not Abuse 2011 College Dating Violence and Abuse Poll,” was conducted by Knowledge Networks to address the lack of data on dating violence and abuse among college students and to increase the understanding of this problem on college campuses nationwide.

According to dating violence expert, Dr. Karen Singleton, Director of Sexual Violence Response, a program of Columbia University Health Services, “This survey expands on earlier reports and reinforces the complexity of the issue.” Among the findings are:

· Nearly 1 in 3 (29%) college women report having been a victim of an abusive dating relationship in her life.

· 57% of students who report having been in an abusive dating relationship indicate it occurred in college.

· 52% of college women report knowing a friend who has experienced violent and abusive dating behaviors including physical, sexual, digital, verbal or controlling abuse.

· Further, 58% of students said they would not know how to help if they knew someone was a victim.

“The findings of this survey prove that colleges and universities need to provide a more comprehensive response and additional creative educational programs to address dating violence and abuse,” said Jane Randel, Senior Vice President, Corporate Communications, Liz Claiborne Inc.

The survey findings were released today, during a forum to educate students about sexual assault prevention and survivor assistance at American University.

The full report of survey results can be found at www.loveisnotabuse.com.

National Dating Abuse Helpline and Break the Cycle Respond to the Urgent Need for Education

In direct response to these new findings, www.loveisrespect.org, a partnership between the National Dating Abuse Helpline and leading teen dating violence prevention organization, Break the Cycle, is launching an initiative to target college students with new, relevant resources to address the issue of dating abuse.

The expanded online content includes: Take Action (information on how students can get involved on their campus), Stay Safe (safety planning designed specifically for college students) and Help a Friend (information to assist bystanders). The survey shows that 57% of college students say it is difficult to identify dating abuse - substantive evidence of the need for increased education and awareness.

“It is our hope that with these targeted college resources, we can help increase knowledge about how students can combat the issue and ultimately, help prevent the prevalence of dating abuse and violence among students,” said President of the National Domestic Violence Hotline and National Dating Abuse Helpline, Katie-Ray Jones.

The resources are available, free online at www.loveisrespect.org.

In addition, Liz Claiborne Inc. has created a college dating violence curriculum called Love Is Not Abuse, designed to help students deal with dating violence and abuse on campus. The first college curriculum of its kind, Love Is Not Abuse educates students about the dangers and warning signs of dating violence, offers lessons specifically on abuse via technology and provides resources where college students can find help on campus.

The Love Is Not Abuse curriculum was created by a task force consisting of educators and domestic and sexual violence experts from Columbia University, George Mason University, the University of Kansas, Virginia Community College System, Northern Virginia Community College and Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University (Virginia Tech) following the May 2010 murder of University of Virginia student Yeardley Love.

The Love Is Not Abuse college curriculum is available online, free at www.loveisnotabuse.com/web/guest/curriculum.

Girls verses Boys: Who are smarter?

2011-09-22T11:45:00.000-07:00

What do you think?

Since the beginning of time, scientists, philosophers and the common man and woman alike have been struggling to understand what, besides the obvious, differentiates the genders. Are behavior deviations a product of societal expectations or something more deeply hard-wired from birth via hormones and DNA? There’s still a lot we don’t understand about the relationship between gender and behavior, and even more regarding gender and education.

Hundreds — if not thousands — of studies done on the subject over the past few decades have come up with some interesting results. From understanding why girls don’t often go into math and science to exploring the different expectations teachers may have for each gender, the discoveries reveal a lot about how educators teach, treat and relate to students — both good and bad. Whether you want to hone a more gender-focused approach or believe neutrality is best, these facts (from what we know at present, anyway) are an interesting read for any educator who wants to better understand what may make students tick.

We have to interject a word of caution for readers, however. It’s important to remember that these facts and findings represent averages and generalizations that, while holding true for many, certainly don’t preclude members of either gender from being quite different in their thoughts, actions and preferences. Gender studies and the results they produce can be valuable tools in developing new and better educational methods, but they should never result in pigeonholing students who need space to be who they are.

Boys are more likely to be tested and diagnosed for a learning disability than girls.Educators take note: boys are almost twice as likely as girls to have a learning disability, and are three times more at risk for ADHD. This doesn’t mean that girls don’t have learning disabilities, of course. Many believe females may receive fewer diagnoses not because they aren’t having trouble, but because boys are more likely to visibly act out their academic frustrations.
Boys comprise two-thirds of special education classes.From dyslexia to autism, boys are diagnosed with learning, behavior and social disorders at a much higher rate than their female counterparts. Teachers need to be on the lookout for symptoms and signs in both genders. Doing so means they can get help early, when it will do them the most good.
Regardless of racial or ethnic group, boys have higher rates of suspension and expulsion than girls.While rates differ from district to district, boys are twice as likely to be suspended as girls. Girls can be troublemakers as well, but statistically, boys typically act out in more violent or disruptive ways. Unfortunately, there is also a racial gap with regard to suspensions, with black males three times more likely to be suspended than whites.
Girls are much less likely than boys to drop out of school.This fact is related directly to suspension rates. Suspended students are much more likely to be disengaged and disinterested in school than those who are not. They also tend to fall behind (if they were not already) due to missed school days. Currently, boys are 30% more likely to drop out of school than girls — a gap that reflected in the higher number of women going on to college and graduate school each year.
Boys tend to be bigger risk takers.There is some truth behind the stereotype that boys are more willing to take risks than girls. Dr. Leonard Sax has found that boys get more enjoyment out of taking risks, are more impressed by others who do the same and are more likely to engage in such behaviors if other males are present. Girls, while not unwilling to take risks, were much less likely to actively seek out the same behaviors.
Boys and girls may be motivated by different factors in the classroom.While each child is unique, researchers have found some trends that show marked differences in what motivates male and female students. Girls are often driven by a desire to please adults, even if they find an assignment uninteresting. Boys care less about having a teacher like them and are more motivated by work they find meaningful. Additionally, males perform better on tests under moderate stress, while girls do worse.
Girls are more likely to ask for help if they need it.While male students may not care as much what the teacher thinks about them, they are acutely aware of their peers’ judgment. When they become frustrated, they may act out rather than asking for assistance, as this disruptive behavior may raise their status. Asking for help may make them feel weaker and less able. Girls, on the other hand, are often much more willing to ask for help. Their peers do not inhibit their desire to develop a close relationship with teachers.
Boys and girls mature mentally at different rates and in different ways.The way the brain itself develops as children age may actually be quite different in girls versus boys. Girls tend to develop more advanced language and fine motor skills early on, as much as six years earlier than boys. Boys’ brains may develop better spatial memory and targeting aspects of the brain as much as 4 years earlier than girls. This is especially important for early education teachers to note, as each gender may find certain tasks very challenging and may need additional help and support.
More attention and praise may be given to male students than females.Whether in grade school or in college, the way teachers interact with male and female students can be quite different. Studies have shown the male students are more likely to be praised, listened to and called on than their female counterparts. While many teachers strive for equality, subconscious ideas about gender roles impact the treatment of students — something every educator needs to watch out for in his or her own behavior.
Single-sex classrooms can improve outcomes for both boys and girls.There is some evidence to suggest that single-sex classrooms may be more beneficial for both males and females. Students report feeling more comfortable in such settings, finding greater academic success and touting that the classes improved their self confidence. While some students and parents exalt the benefits of single-sex education, others don’t agree. In the end, it may boil down to personal choice and preference. But if many of the research findings hold true, gender-tailored education may prove beneficial for students who struggle in co-ed classes.
The way boys and girls use technology at home and school differs.Technology is a major part of both the educational and working sphere, so the ways in which students use it can be quite important. Research published in The Literacy and Numeracy Secretariat showed that boys and girls are approaching computer use differently. Boys were found to use computers more frequently and chose to play games, use educational software and access the internet. Girls used computers less often and focused on activities like emailing, chatting and homework. Teacher attitudes about computer use were also different, with educators letting girls give up more quickly on computer-related problems than boys.
Girls are much more likely to be bored, disengaged or stressed in science classes.A Northern Illinois University study found that girls in high school science classes reported a much different experience than their male counterparts, despite spending an equal amount of time and getting similar grades. The study found that girls were most engaged in science class when listening to lectures or completing work, and were much less likely to take the lead in lab work. Educator attitudes might also have something to do with it. Of the 13 teachers studied, only two chose girls as their top students, describing them as "hard workers. The favored male students were considered "naturals" who "just got it."
Boys and girls respond differently to certain teaching methods."One size fits all" might not work when it comes to engaging male and female students equally. Girls typically benefit more from teaching methods stressing hands-on, active approaches to learning, as well as team, cooperative assignments and performance-based assessment. Boys, on the other hand, seem to excel in more competitive situations and testing with time constraints, though they too prefer hands-on learning.
The achievement gap between American boys and girls is among the smallest in the world.While the gap between math and science and reading and writing skills between American girls and boys is certainly notable, it may not be as bad as other countries. In the latest round of international tests, the split found between male and female students sat among the smallest of anywhere in the world – though still significant, with boys scoring lower on literacy and girls on science and math.
Girls are less likely to take AP exams in math and science subjects.In general, girls take more AP exams than boys — except when it comes to math, science and computers. In 2003, only 6% of the students taking the computer science AP exam were girls. Additionally, girls represent only 10 to 15% of all students in AP physics classes, and are significantly less likely to take the AP exam for this or calculus courses.
Educational differences based on gender are more pronounced in childhood than adulthood.As children grow and mature, the sex differences that made many of their educational needs so different may gradually even out. Teachers working with students in lower grades may need to pay more attention to gender-based education than those with high school or college students.
Some gender differences may be hardwired into the brain from birth.While gender expectations undoubtedly play a role in later development, studies have shown that some of who we are as men and women may simply stem from biology. Newborns react differently to stimuli along gender lines, with female babies being attracted more to faces and male babies to motion. These differences persist into the early years of education, and can influence student motivation and interest.
Research has found differences between the ways boys and girls respond to stress.There is no doubt that learning can be stressful for both girls and boys at times, but the differing ways in which each gender may respond to it complicates matters. Boys are more likely to act out when they get upset, girls to burst into tears or trust a friend for comfort. When it comes to learning-related stress, boys perform better under anxious conditions than girls, with such issues actually lowering girls’ test scores.
The average 11th grade boy writes at the same level as the average 8th grade girl.Teachers need to be especially aware that boys may struggle to write at the same level as girls. The U.S. Department of Education came up with this statistic, which brings into stark clarity some developmental differences in male and female brains — some which might leave big impact on academic performance. Studies have shown that the brain of a 17-year-old boy is more similar to that of a 13-year-old girl, a result that holds true over cultural and racial boundaries.
Boys tend to perform better on standardized tests, while girls get better grades overall.Throughout school, girls tend to get higher grades than boys in nearly all subjects. Boys, conversely, seem to do better on IQ and standardized tests. Researchers think this may have to do with girls possessing more self-discipline, and being more willing to push themselves to study and earn good grades. Though other factors may come into play as well, of course.
There are differences in perception between boys and girls.Girls have been shown, even from birth, to have the ability to hear a wider range of sounds. Additionally, the ways that boys and girls see may differ as well. The eyes of young girls may actually be thicker with the types of cells that collect information about texture and color, while boys’ have more following motion and direction. By adulthood, these differences evaporate or become very small, but can be key for teachers working with younger students.
Boys often develop speaking, reading and writing abilities more slowly than girls.This is largely a product of brain development differences between the sexes but can lead to a wide disparity in early grades. In middle and elementary school, girls outscore boys by wide margins on NAEP reading and writing tests, and the gap often doesn’t close until late high school or college. Boys may need more help in expressing their thoughts in written and verbal form — something educators should take note of.
Boys and girls use their left and right hemispheres skills differently in early grades.In early grades, girls tend to use left-hemisphere skills to speak, read and write well, and their right-hemisphere skills empathizing and understanding the feelings of peers and teachers. Boys, on the other hand, use the left hemisphere to help them recall facts, rules and categorize information, while the right serves to give them their visual, spatial and motor skills.
Women are more likely than men to continue on to college and get a bachelor’s degree.Regardless of race or socioeconomic group, men earn bachelor’s degrees at a lower rate than women. Those who do head to college are less likely to complete their degrees in the usual four to five years, and will — on average — get worse grades than women.
While there are developmental differences between boys and girls, overall there is little to indicate that education performance can be explained by biological differences alone.All this research is great, but in the bigger picture, gender differences can’t account for all performance gaps between individual children. In fact, social and cultural factors including career aspirations, teachers’ expectations and familial involvement prove far more important. This means educators may have bigger role to play in the success of a child than their biology — a reminder of their work’s value and importance.

Source: Accredited Online College

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Home Alone 101

2011-09-19T06:24:00.000-07:00

Is your teen responsible when they are home alone?
Is your tween ready to be home alone?
Is your child ready to be home alone?

As children get older, they need to take on more responsibilities. One of those responsibilities is taking care of themselves. Whether it’s for a few minutes or a few hours, eventually every child needs to be able to stay home alone.
Here are ten tips on deciding when your child is ready.

Your child should indicate a desire and willingness to stay alone - Children who are easily frightened or express an unwillingness to stay alone are probably not ready for this responsibility.
Your child should be showing signs of accepting the responsibility – Children who are able to get ready for school on time and complete homework and household chores with a minimum of supervision are illustrating their growing sense of responsibility.
Your child should be aware of the needs of others – Children who remember to tell you where they are going and when they will be back and are mindful of the promises they make are aware of other’s needs.
Your child should be able to consider alternatives and make decisions independently – Children who solve problems on their own and do not depend on their parents for every decision are demonstrating some of the skills they need to care for themselves.
Your child should be able to talk easily with you about interests and concerns – Good parent-child communication is needed to ensure that any fears or problems that arise because of staying alone can be quickly discussed and dealt with.
Your child should know how to react in situations such as – being locked out, being afraid, being bored, being lonely, and arguments with brothers and sisters.
Your child should know house rules about – leaving the house, having friends in, cooking and use of kitchen equipment, appropriate snacks and meals, talking with friends on the phone, and duties to be completed while home alone.
Your child should have good telephone skills – Such as a list of emergency numbers, knowledge of what to say in an emergency situation, how to respond if someone calls, and understanding of appropriate and inappropriate reasons for calling parents or other adults for help.
Your child should have good personal safety skills – Such as how to answer the door when alone, how to lock and unlock windows, what to do if approached by a stranger on the way home, what to do if they think someone is in the house when they get home, and what to do if someone touches them inappropriately.
Your child should have good home safety skills – Like kitchen safety (use of appliances, knives and tools), what to do if they smell smoke or gas- or in the event of a fire, what to do during severe storms, basic first aid techniques and how to know when to get help.

For many children these abilities begin to appear between the ages of 10-12. Some children may take longer than others, but it should be a mutual decision. Both the child and the parent need to be certain they are ready. A trial period of one or two days a week could be tried first, allowing both the parent and the child time to assure themselves that they are ready for this next step in responsibility.

Source: Nanny Classifieds

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Freshman at College: First Year Away from Home

2011-09-12T07:41:00.000-07:00

New students, new classes, new clubs and new friends are forming.

Are there any students struggling with the "Freshman 15?"

The "Freshman 15" refers to weight gain during the first year at college. During freshman year, some students gain weight, while others will lose weight or stay the same. Weight maintenance involves making healthy food choices, exercising, and avoiding alcohol and late night junk food.

There are many changes that happen during the first year of college that can affect your eating and exercise habits. For example, eating your meals in an all-you-can-eat dining hall with friends is very different from eating meals at home with your family. Also, many people who played sports in high school don’t play sports in college, so they don’t have exercise built into their day. Although these changes may take some getting used to, it doesn't mean that they have to result in weight gain.

What behaviors can contribute to weight gain?

The following 6 behaviors may lead to unhealthy weight gain during college:

Eating too much junk food
Choosing unhealthy options in the dining hall
Eating large portions or having second or third helpings
Eating late at night
Not doing any physical activity
Drinking alcoholic beverages

Weight maintenance involves making healthy, nutritious food choices, eating proper portions, and getting enough exercise.

Follow these tips to help you maintain your weight during college:

Eat nutritious snacks. Stock your room with healthy snacks such as string cheese, baby carrots, hummus, yogurt, light popcorn, canned tuna fish, granola bars, and nuts. It's okay to eat junk food occasionally, but cut back on chips, soda, and sweets. Try bringing fruit back from the dining hall to eat later.
Choose healthy options. Since you will probably be eating most of your meals in the dining hall, try to get in the habit of choosing healthy options and eating balanced meals. Pass on foods that are fried, and/or made with lots of added fats, sugar, and salt. Look for plant-based or lean proteins and choose whole grains such as whole wheat bread, brown rice, and whole wheat pasta. Be sure to eat fruits and vegetables at every meal. Half of your plate should be filled with vegetables and/or fruit.
Eat when you are hungry and stop when you are full. All-you-can-eat dining halls can contribute to overeating. Be conscious of how much you are eating (not just what you are eating) and eat until you are comfortably full, but not stuffed. Even if the cafeteria is serving lots of your favorite foods, try to stick with one entrée. You can always choose something different next time.
Make mindful decisions when eating late at night. It is okay to eat a small snack at night if you are hungry, but eating late night meals when you aren’t really hungry can lead to weight gain.
Be active. Even though you don’t have gym class or afterschool practice anymore doesn’t mean you can't be physically active. Find ways to fit physical activity such as walking, biking, dancing, or playing sports, into your schedule. Consider making a gym date or sign up for an intramural sport. Find a friend who shares your goal of wanting to stay in shape and make plans to workout or go for a walk/run together. Not only will it keep you fit, but you’ll also build new friendships. Being active will give you more energy and will also help you deal with stress.
Think before you drink. Alcoholic beverages contain lots of calories. Drinking alcohol can also lead to loss of judgment, which may also cause some people to over-eat late at night. Students who drink alcohol regularly during college should expect to gain weight. With that in mind, it’s important not to cut back on food during the day to compensate for the calories you're taking in from alcohol.

Source: Center for Young Women's Health

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Teens Dropping out of School: Tips to Prevent High School Dropouts

2011-09-06T09:27:00.000-07:00

Parenting teenagers can be a challenge.

Generations prior finishing high school was never an option.

Today more teens are opting to drop-out completely or get their GED. Why?

A mother, who asked to have her name withheld, with a student at Cypress Bay High School in Weston, recently said, "My son doesn't think he has to finish school. He said he can just get a GED like some other kids did. His father and I are completely beside ourselves. We fear he will drop-out, it seems kids today don't understand the importance of an education."

Why do students drop-out?

There’s no single reason.

Students drop out of school for a number of different reasons—and it’s typically a combination of many issues. Here are some of the top reasons students give for leaving school:

Classes aren’t interesting
Parents/family/adults have low expectations
Poor attendance
Failing in school
Family responsibilities (work, caring for siblings, etc.)
Becoming a parent
Too much freedom

What are some warning signs to look for?
What to watch for. There are specific factors to watch for in students who are likely to drop out of school. If you see one or more of these signs, get involved! You can give these students the Boost they need to stay in school.

They don’t feel challenged in school.
They don’t feel high educational expectations from either their family or school.
They believe their parents are too controlling and they want to rebel.
They have trouble with schoolwork or feel like they are not as smart as other students.
They have drug, alcohol or mental health problems.
They regularly miss school or are frequently tardy.
They struggle with problems at home, including physical or verbal abuse.
They feel like they don’t fit in or have friends at school.
Their peers or siblings have dropped out of school.
They have poor learning conditions at school—such as overcrowding, high levels of violence and excessive absenteeism.

If you fear your teen is heading down a negative path and you need to get them back on track, visit www.BoostUp.org or www.HelpYourTeens.com for more information.

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Tough Love is Misunderstood: Loving Your Teen To Death

2011-08-28T05:14:00.000-07:00

Face the issue, don't ignore it.

After watching Dr. Drew on HLN last week, as he explained to his guest (a mother) that has a young adult struggling with alcoholism, ‘she can’t save him‘, and having that thought process is not helping him. Only he can help himself. Many parents have a misconception of Tough Love, as Dr. Drew explained. You can literally love your child to death. You can actually do more harm when you believe you are helping or saving your child.

Parent Denial: It Only Hurts Your Teen and Puts Them at Serious Risk

Parents in denial is probably one of the most common threads many teens have while they are smoking a joint or popping a pill – even downing the cough syrup. Many parents think their teen is not the bad child – it is the ones they are hanging with – or simply doesn’t exist.

Being a parent in denial doesn’t help anyone, not even the parent. Since eventually it does catch up with you and you find yourself dealing with a teen that is escalating out of control or worse, on a road to becoming an addict.

We hear these common excuses from parents when they call us for help:

My teen is so smart! His/her IQ is superior, but they are not working up to their potential. (Also known as, underachieving)
My teen is so beautiful/handsome – good looking – even has many friends. (Of course, the peer group has changed and you don’t know why.)
My teen is very athletic! He/she made the varsity team at a young age, has won all sorts of awards, but now has dropped out (or kicked off a team) and has zero interest in this sport. (Major red flag).
It’s not my kid, it is the kids he/she is hanging out with! (Really, do you understand your teen has free will and is choosing to hang with these kids?)
It’s only pot! (Really, do you realize that marijuana today is not like generations prior. Marijuana is being laced with higher levels of PCP, as well as even heroin). It is not only pot, it is serious.

The irony of these comments are, they are calling us, Parents’ Universal Resource Experts, for help, but when we recommend resources, many fall back to their “hope and a prayer” that this is only a phase. While some teens do straighten up, most don’t – and the problems get worse.

Typical teen behavior? Maybe, but do you want to risk not getting them help if it is more than typical teen behavior?

Major misconception of parents: Almost all parents that contact us have that next Einstein or Dan Marino (the mother on Dr. Drew last night even used the most common phrase, ‘my son is highly intelligent’, which may be true, but using drugs or other substances is not too smart), but the fact they are either changing friends, smoking pot, not attending classes or school at all, wanting to drop out of school all together and just get a GED, are all signs you are heading down a very negative path. This road usually escalates before it gets better.

Order today.

As a mother that dealt with a challenging teenage daughter, I know the feeling of facing the fact you can’t do this alone. My daughter was that athlete, she was popular, she was beautiful and I always said – “well, at least she never did drugs.” Boy was I wrong.

In my book, Wit’s End! Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out-of-Control Teen, published by Health Communications, Inc, I wrote my thoughts and feelings at the time my daughter was 14 years-old. However when you reach the chapter she wrote, you soon realize that mom (myself) didn’t know it all!

When local therapy isn’t working, you exhausted all your local resources, you have now come to realize an intervention is needed. Residential therapy is a big step, both emotionally and financially.

Another major misconception among parents is they are looking for a Military School or Boot Camp to straighten up their teen.

Military Schools are a privilege and honor to attend. Your child needs to be accepted usually with an essay of why they want to attend as well as a good GPA. If your teen is forced to attend and gets expelled, you will very likely forfeit your tuition.
Boot Camps and Wilderness Programs are short term programs that offer short term results (if any at all). Many parents believe that 6-8 weeks is going to resolve a year or more worth of issues. These types of programs are band-aids that quickly fall off shortly after the teen arrives back home. Most Wilderness Programs recommend a Residential Therapy program following their 6-8 weeks. Consistency is key, finding the right program from start to finish has proven most beneficial.

Looking for the best residential program and/or school for your individual teen is challenging. It is critical we don’t place your teen out of their element. Finding the right balance make take time, but it is worth it and can lead to a brighter future for your child.

Learn more about residential programs by visiting http://www.HelpYourTeens.com.

Most importantly, don’t be a parent in denial – be proactive!

I will Blog more about how to find sound residential therapy as well as letting you know, you are not alone!
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Back to School: Cyberbullying can start with cyber-gossip

2011-08-24T07:51:00.000-07:00

We are heading into a new school year and more and more we are hearing of the digitial bullying, cyberbullying and sexting.

Gossip can be mean. Bullies can build on gossip and create stories and ugliness about a student that can go viral in seconds.

In today’s internet age, gossip can be spread at lightning speed to hundreds, thousands or millions of people. The new “party line” is cyberspace where millions of people can all access the same information instantaneously. Just get on your computer, iphone, ipad or blackberry and let the rumors fly.

Here are 10 ways people (including kids) can us new technology to rapidly spread gossip in 2011 (in no particular order).

Email – One way to spread a rumor quickly is to send an email to all the contacts in your account, except the one the rumor is about, of course. Then they can forward it to all their contacts and on it goes from there. You better hope they delete your name when they forward it, or you might get blamed for starting it.
Facebook – Post your gossip on facebook and all your friends will know about it instantly. If they “like” it, comment on it or repost it, all their friends will see it too. Pretty soon you’ve got the rumor spreading quickly.
Myspace – Another social networking sight great for gossiping is Myspace. Post that rumor on a bulletin or your group’s message board and watch it spread like wildfire.
Twitter – You can tweet a rumor and all your Twitter followers will know your juicy gossip in 140 characters or less. They can re-tweet it to all their followers and in no time the gossip is flying through cyberspace.
Blogs – Some people love to spread gossip through their blogs. Even unintentional rumors are sometimes started by bloggers.
Website – You won’t believe some of the stuff you find posted on websites, and you shouldn’t either. There are whole websites put on the web just for the purpose of spreading misinformation. Always remember to check their sources.
YouTube – If you have a registered YouTube account you can upload an unlimited number of videos. If you have a video of someone doing something dubious, this is the best way to spread that rumor to millions of viewers.
Comments – A great way to anonymously spread gossip is to post a comment on a website, blog or YouTube video. You can log in under an assumed username and say all kinds of outrageous things without revealing your identity.
Chat rooms – Another anonymous way to spread rumors are internet chat rooms. You can start with an offhand comment and embellish it as you go.
Texting – If you see or hear something juicy to gossip about, you can send a text message to all your friends. That will get the thumbs flying as the rumor gets spread.

The new social media available has taken gossiping to a whole new level. Unfortunately this can lead to cyber bullying and be very traumatizing to vulnerable people. Celebrities and politicians are easy targets for internet gossip and careers are ruined by unintended tweets.

Everyone should use the new technology responsibly, but many abuse their newfound privileges. Be careful what you put out into cyberspace or it may come back to haunt you and always check the sources of what you see or read. Chances are it’s just more cyber-gossip.

Source: Internet Providers

Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens.

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Back to School: Teenagers Driving to School

2011-08-21T12:53:00.000-07:00

A special guest post by Safe Teen Driving Club as school is opening throughout the country.

Vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death and injury among 15- to 20-year olds.
Will your teen be driving to school this year?

Do You Know the Facts?

16-year-old teens have higher crash rates than drivers of any other age.
They are three times more likely to die in a motor vehicle crash than the average of all drivers.
In 2008 some 2,739 drivers between the ages of 15 and 20 died in motor vehicle crashes.
About 2 out of every 3 teenagers killed in motor vehicle crashes in 2008 were males (IIHS).
Drivers ages 15-20 accounted for 12% of all drivers involved in fatal crashes in 2008 and 14% of all drivers involved in police-reported crashes.
63% of teenage passenger deaths occurred in vehicles driven by another teenager.
Among deaths of passengers of all ages, 19% occurred when a teenager was driving (IIHS).
58 percent of teen drivers crash the car in their first year of driving; over 80 percent in the first three years, according to the National Safety Council.
The majority (58%) of young people 16 to 20 years old involved in fatal motor vehicle crashes were unbuckled. (Ref.: NHTSA)
The leading Risk Factors are:

-Fatigue
-Driving after dark
-Inexperience, age
-Driver Distraction – iPod, Cell Phone, Radio, Other Passengers
-Failure to buckle up
-Drugs, Alcohol

Teens who get less than eight hours of sleep per night are twice as likely to say they have fallen asleep at the wheel (20 percent) than teens who report getting eight or more hours of sleep per night (10 percent). A national survey of 3,580 students in grades 10-12 found that 36 percent of teens often drive when drowsy to school in the morning.

Ref: Liberty Mutual Insurance and SADD (Students Against Destructive Decisions).

Driving between 9PM and 6AM triples the risk of a fatal crash for 16-year-old drivers, a 2003 IIHS report showed. A NC study found “the majority of 16 and 17 year-old drivers' nighttime crashes (nearly 80 percent) occur between 9 p.m. and midnight.”

(Ref: Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (www.iihs.org)

What To Do? Get Engaged!
Parental involvement is a key contributor to safe driving behavior. Establish clear family rules for driving.

Work with your teens to get more sleep

Consider putting them on the bus or driving them to school - even if it is not cool!

Vehicle monitoring and reporting has dramatic impact on reducing accident rates – proven in the commercial arena for years.

Establishing driving agreements contributes to reduced fatalities (when enforced.)

Parents need to enforce Graduated Driver Licensing laws rather than relying on law enforcement.

Discussion, awareness and training for teens and parents are key

Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens.
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Visit Safe Driving Club today for more valuable information.

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Class Learning verses Online Classes: What Fits Your Teenager?

2011-08-17T16:20:00.000-07:00

As technology continues to influence and change our way of living, parents are now faced with the consideration of allowing their teenagers to prepare for or begin college through online courses for credit. During the past five years or so, a great deal of development in this area has been taking place, all with the backing of the U.S. Department of Education. There are, however, a number of pros and cons when it comes to this modern method of study, and launching young adults out into the world is a heavy responsibility. Most parents want to get through the process with no regrets, so it is wise to take the time to determine if online classes would actually be a good fit for your teenager.

Let’s face it: not all kids and family situations are alike. What works well for some may spell disaster for others. With the growing number of options available in educating our children, this should certainly be considered from more than one perspective. Whether you’ve sent your son or daughter through public or private school, or even educated them at home, the subject of entry-level online college courses is very likely to come up at some point before or after high school graduation.

Considering all the angles when it comes to online education may mean doing some personal research and evaluation. Web-based education has some fantastic benefits, but there are additionally some serious drawbacks. Allowing a teen to stay home in front of a computer for extended periods of time could possibly have health or psychological disadvantages. Parents needs to assess things such as the physical condition and mental health of their children. Some parents may also wonder if they actually want to encourage more screen time in a lifestyle already loaded with digital activity. On the flipside, there are cases where studying online may be a hindrance to teens with more outgoing personalities, leading to a sense of isolation, or at minimum feeling somewhat separated from other people. Those are the students that truly need to have face-to-face interaction with others and will learn better in that environment.

Another big consideration ought to be the student’s learning and communication style. Teens whose learning styles lean more toward the auditory than visual or who are more kinetic learners may do better in the usual face-to-face classroom setting than sitting in front of a laptop screen loaded heavily with text. If this seems like a big mystery, it may be sensible and wise to consult a professional for some input or learning style testing just to be sure. Some community colleges even offer this sort of help in their student services departments.

It isn’t uncommon for older teenagers to take a gap year before starting a rigorous academic program, and in fact it’s becoming something of a trend. While some use the gap year for travel and a complete break from school, others may combine a few courses of study with travel opportunities. Still other students simply need a time to gear up gradually, or do some soul-searching and exploration of ideas before making the big break from home. Online courses may fit in well with any of these situations. Students might find that studying via the Internet before leaving home is a safe way to make decisions while still living under their parents’ roof. This can also be a time to test the waters, get a better feel for the responsibilities of college, and the demands and workload involved with being a more advanced, full-time student.

Some high school students engage in programs that allow for dual credit. This option not only provides credit toward high school graduation, but gives students a head start in college. If saving money is a big issue for parents and their kids, encouraging an early start with online courses could save thousands of dollars. Programs are popping up both on the Internet and through local community and state colleges, and there will be more in time. So whether high school students go for dual credit or want to have a gentle start to their college careers, big savings can be realized through taking courses online.

Taking advantage of online college courses is a viable option for many families, but it is understandably not everyone’s cup of tea. Parents should definitely weigh it all out before allowing or encouraging their teens to sign up for this route. One way or another, online college courses are here to stay as we move more and more into an electronic society.

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Teen Girl Self-Esteem: After School and Your Daughter

2011-08-14T05:33:00.000-07:00

Yes, schools are opening throughout our country and another academic year with the normal peer pressure and stress of being a teenager.

What are you doing after school? Many girls will be hitting a transitional point in their lives in a few weeks. Some will attend new schools, some will be away from home for the first time and others could be leaving their summer loves….

Although women have made gains in education and employment in the equal rights war, they’re still losing the self-esteem war. Girls’ self-esteem peaks when they are about 9 years old, and then takes a nosedive. Although the media, peers, and pop culture influence children, parents still hold more sway than they think when it comes to having an impact on a daughter’s developing self-esteem.

Girls are faced with an onslaught of influences daily- most of them not the ones we’d like. In fact, a national survey of girls’ use of social media released by Girl Scouts of the USA (Who’s That Girl: Self Image in the 21st Century, 2010) finds that girls with low self-esteem are more likely to be susceptible to negative experiences on social networking sites than are girls with high self-esteem.

As parents and mentors, we want to help our daughters develop a strong sense of self, learn about the benefits of a balanced diet and physical activity, develop healthy relationships, promote confidence and well-being among While having fun.

Wondering how to enhance your daughter’s school year? The Girl Scouts’ flourishing new leadership program Journeys is at the core of the nearly 100-year-old organization’s transformation and a key benefit of this latest offering is building a strong sense of self. Building self-esteem does not happen overnight, but research shows that one way to accomplish this is through the development of leadership skills and competencies.

For more information go to www.girscouts.org!

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TEEN HELP: Who Do You Trust for Helping Your Teenager?

2011-08-08T08:49:00.000-07:00

At any given moment, a parent in need of help with their child can make some very rash and costly mistakes.

Ask yourself these questions:

1. Do you feel that you are at your wits end?
2. Do you feel you or your family is in danger?
3. Do you feel like something needs to be done now?
4. Do you feel out of control with your child’s actions?
5. Do you feel out of control with yourself?
6. Do you feel hopeless and no one will understand?
7. Do you feel completely alone in dealing with this child?
8. Do you feel you lack the capability to make the right decision?
9. Do you feel your child is running your life and the household?
10. Do you feel Desperate?

The feelings of desperation are very real and very painful, however it is not the time to make rash decisions. In most cases, the dysfunction has taken months if not years, to come to pass. It will not be resolved in an instant decision to “send your child away” the quickest and easiest way. This is the most important time to stop, think, research, evaluate and conclude what is best for your child and family.

If you have answered yes to any of the above questions, it is time to reflect and begin planning your alternatives. It is not time to make any decisions. We feel that if you are working with a Psychologist, Therapist or Doctor, they should always be consulted first. Once it is determined residential treatment is needed, it is time for your research to start.

Information and resources will be a valuable asset. When calling the schools and programs, be sure they are looking for your child’s best interest. Any program that is quick to enroll your child is not in your best interest. Always keep notes, and document every conversation. When contacting a program; does the Admissions Director ask you questions about your child or do the go directly into how their program can help them? How do they know they can help, if they haven’t taken the time to listen to your child’s needs?
As a parent, your heart and gut will tell you when you have found the right placement for your child. Again, the advice of a Professional (i.e. Doctor) is always beneficial, but not always the end result. Most Doctor’s are not familiar with the many residential treatments centers throughout the country, but can give you advice as to what your child’s needs are.

In some cases urgency is needed. Especially with some legal matters, however many can go into a local Adolescent Psychiatric Hospital for 2-3 days (usually insurance paid) until you can do your homework. Make the most of the 24-36 hours with your research. This can buy you time to find the most appropriate placement for your child.

When your search starts, use caution to a desperate sales person. Many Admissions Personnel are paid per enrollment. Although everyone is entitled to make a living, when it comes to your child, there should be a division. It is more beneficial to speak with a program owner, Director or therapist at the facility. These people are usually not sales people and want their program to succeed. They will screen their potential students to be sure they are a fit for their program.

Parents’ Universal Resource Experts does not engage with admissions and/or enrollments. We always encourage parents to contact the programs directly to determine if the program is appropriate for your child’s needs. We do, however help educated you in this “big business” of teen help.

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Teens Getting Tattoos: Know the Risks

2011-08-01T11:45:00.000-07:00

Between piercings and tattoos, parents are finding themselves facing another issue to discuss with their teens. What do you do when your teens wants a tattoo or a piercing in a less than desirable area?

Tattoos are permanent, so spur of the moment decisions to get a tattoo are never a good idea. Even when the decision has been made for quite some time, there may still be good reasons to reconsider.
Here are ten of the ways that people use to try and convince someone not to get a tattoo.

Pain – There is pain involved in getting a tattoo. How much pain will depend on where it is located on the body, the size of the tattoo and the pain tolerance level of the person receiving the tattoo. If the person has a low pain tolerance, emphasizing the pain involved in the process, and the time needed to complete the tattoo can sometimes be enough to get them to change their mind.
Cost – Tattoos are not inexpensive, especially at the best shops. In addition, the cost of having one removed if you should change your mind about it in the future will be even more costly. Is a little bit of colored skin really worth that much money?
Social impact – Not everyone has an appreciation for the art of tattooing. Your tattoo may negatively impact future relationships, both personal and in the employment/business arena. The cost of that is impossible to gauge.
Bad results – What if it doesn’t turn out looking like you expected it too? Not everyone is happy with the results they receive from a tattoo artist. It doesn’t grow out like a bad haircut.
Personality changes – What is appealing to you now may not be in 5, 10 or 20 years. Everyone’s personality continues to evolve with their life experience and level of maturity. What you will be like in the future is impossible to predict.
Lifestyle changes – A tattoo may fit perfectly with your current lifestyle, but just as with personality, lifestyles change. Having to deal with trying to cover or explain the ‘fashion’ of your past could be something you’d rather avoid.
Body changes – Ten years could mean adding or losing twenty pounds or more. With those changes in weight, the look of a tattoo is going to change too, in a negative way.
Infection – In spite of precautions, infections do still occur. That can mean medical costs and disfigurement of the tattoo. Do you really want to risk that?
Disease – It is possible to transfer incurable diseases like Hepatitis C with tattoo needles. You’re trusting in the word of your tattooist that the needles are sterile. In addition, tattoo ink is not regulated by the FDA. You have no idea what might be in that stuff that is going into your skin.
Aged tattoos – Show them some pictures of people who have carried their tattoos on their body for a lifetime that are no longer colorful or appealing on their 70-80 year old bodies. Is that what they want to look like when they’re a grandparent?

In reality, you may not be able to convince a person not to get a tattoo with these arguments, but they should at least encourage them to think it through more carefully. It is their body and their life, but often times tattoos done in youthful years are regretted later on in life. Sometimes convincing them to simply wait a few years will be more effective than trying to convince them not to get a tattoo at all.

Source: Best Dating Sites

Tattoo laws for teens under 18 vary from state to state, and in some cases even from city to city. According to Florida Tatto Laws:

(3) No body of a minor shall be

Be an educated parent, you will have healthier teens.

Addiction: Dangerous and Deadly - Don't Ignore Substance Signs with your Teen

2011-07-27T07:15:00.000-07:00

Amy Winehouse, dies at 27 years old.

The tragic loss of Amy Winehouse has robbed us of a young, if fatally troubled, life cut down in its prime. It has also cheated music of a talent, at 27, whose best years surely still lay ahead.

For the past few years, it often seemed to be a question of when, not if, her drug and alcohol addictions would push her body beyond its limits. Her fans willed her to beat her demons and get well, but in the end, the demons won.

What demons are we speaking about? No, not Satan, but substance abuse.

Many parents will overlook their teen only smoking pot, or just drinking alittle, but in reality your denial is only harming your teenager.

Before becoming an addict, it start with just a joint - maybe just a shot of vodka, but where it ends up, no one knows.

Let this tragedy be a time to open the door to communication with your teen. Talk about the dangers of drug use, drinking and other negative behaviors.

Tips to help prevent teen substance abuse:

1.     Communication is the key to prevention. Whenever an opportunity arises about the risks of drinking and driving or the dangers of using drugs, take it to start a conversation.
2.     Have a conversation not a confrontation. If you suspect your teen is using drugs, talk to them. Don't judge them, talk to them about the facts of the dangers of substance abuse. If your teen isn't opening up to you, be sure you find an adolescent therapist that can help.
3.     Addict in the family? Do you have an addict in your family? Sadly many families have been effected by someone that has allowed drugs to take over their lives. With this, it is a reminder to your teen that you want them to have bright future filled with happiness. The last thing you want for them is to end up like ____.
4.     Don't be a parent in denial. There is no teenager that is immune to drug abuse. No matter how smart your teen is, or athletic they are, they are at risk if they start using. I firmly believe that keeping your teen constructively busy, whether it is with sports, music or other hobbies they have, you will be less at risk for them to want to experiment. However don't be in the dark thinking that your teen is pulling a 4.0 GPA and on the varsity football that they couldn't be dragged down by peer pressure. Go back to number one - talk, talk, talk - remind your teen how proud you are of them, and let them know that you are always available if they feel they are being pressured to do or try something they don't want to.
5.     Do you know what your teen is saying? Listen or watch on texts or emails for code words for certain drug lingo. Skittling, Tussing, Skittles, Robo-tripping, Red Devils, Velvet, Triple C, C-C-C-, Robotard are some of the names kids use for cough and cold medication abuse. Weed, Pot, Ganja, Mary Jane, Grass, Chronic, Buds, Blunt, Hootch, Jive stick, Ace, Spliff, Skunk, Smoke, Dubie, Flower, Zig Zag are all slang for marijuana.
6.     Leftovers. Are there empty medicine wrappers or bottles, burn marks on their clothes or rug, ashes, stench, etc in their room or if they own a car, in their car? Teens (and tweens) either take several pills or smash them so all of it is released at once. Be sure to check all pockets, garbage cans, cars, closets, under beds, etc. for empty wrappers and other evidence of drug use. Where are your prescription drugs? Have you counted them lately?
7.     Body language. Tune into changes in your teen’s behavior. Changing peer groups, altering their physical appearance and/or lack of hygiene, eating or sleeping patterns changing, hostile and uncooperative attitude (defiance), missing money or other valuables from the home, sneaking out of the house, etc.
8.     Access to alcohol. Look around your home, is there liquor that is easily accessible? Teens admit getting alcohol is easy-and the easiest place to get it is in their home. Know what you have in the house and if you suspect your teen is drinking, lock it up! Talk to them about the risks of drinking, especially if they are driving.
9.     Seal the deal. Have your teen sign a contract to never drink and drive. Students Against Drunk Driving (SADD) www.saddonline.comprovides a free online contract to download. It may help them pause just the second they need to not get behind that wheel.
10. Set the example, be the example. What many parents don't realize is that you are the leading role model for your teen. If your teen sees you smoking or drinking frequently, what is the message you are sending? Many parents will have a glass of wine or other alcoholic beverage, however the teen needs to understand you are the adult, and there is a reason that the legal drinking age is 21.

Do you have a teen that you suspect is using drugs? Have you exhausted all your local resources?

Don't be a parent in denial!

Take the time to learn about residential therapy, visit www.HelpYourTeens.com. Each teen and family are unique, there are many teen help programs, knowing how to locate the one best for you can be a challenge, however Parents' Universal Resource Experts, can help, starting with a free consultation.

Many prayers and thoughts to the family and friends of Amy Winehouse.

Teen Secret: Do You Know Where Your Teens Goes Virtually?

2011-07-20T15:14:00.000-07:00

Be in the know!

Kids and especially teens are notorious for keeping secrets from their parents, and in today’s world of technology they have a whole new world of ways to keep secrets.

Since kids are also incredibly adept at learning and using modern technology and the following list may help you keep better track of what your child may be hiding.

Surfing the Internet: Today, kids have almost unlimited access to computers, and now computers are small enough to carry, enabling access to the internet literally anywhere. This gives kids easy access to sites parents may disapprove of, not to mention “adult only” sites that only ask the user to click a link stating they are over 18 years of age. That’s an easy button to click if you want to keep secrets from parents. Close monitoring of your child’s computer history, password protection and parental blocks can keep your child away from inappropriate sites.
Downloads: Kids love to download- anything they can: pictures, jokes, videos, etc. These downloads may be putting your computer at risk for viruses that could cause permanent damage. Parents need to know the source of any download and that it is safe, as well as keeping up-to-date antivirus protection on all computers.
Music Downloads: What kind of music are your kids downloading and listening to? Even if the site is safe, the music might not be. Listen to the music downloads. If you are not able to understand the lyrics of the songs, you may want to check them out. You can find an internet music site that has song lyrics available to read. Be careful, though, if you do not allow your child to download certain titles, he/she will probably change the file name of the prohibited song to something allowable.
Uploads: Kids are not very discerning when it comes to what others should or should not know about themselves, and their families. Find out what sorts of pictures, text and other files your child might be sharing on social networking sites or shared folders.
Games: What games are your kids playing? Playstation, X-box, computer games, both individual and interactive-online are filled with violence and “adult” themes. Monitor the games your child buys or rents; most are labeled with age guidelines and parental notices. Also, monitor your child’s history with online games. Install a computer block that allows access to only approved sites.
Friends: Kids have many friends. Some of them, they don’t even know. Facebook and other online social networking sites make it easy for children to fall prey to predatory abusers disguised as “friends.” If your child has a Facebook or other social networking accounts, make sure that you know their username and password, and check in on their activity once in awhile.
Cell phone use: How much time your kids spend on the phone, when they are calling and who they are calling are important to know. Read the itemized portion of your bill each month to double check, and if there is a number you don’t recognize or don’t want your child accessing, have it blocked through your service carrier.
Texting: With unlimited texting capabilities on cell phone plans, your kids can text anyone at any time, day or night. Parents need to know who they are texting and the language they are both reading and using while they are texting.
Abbreviations: LOL, and CUL maybe be familiar “social” abbreviations, and ROLOFLMHO may be used by your kids without any qualms, but ROLOFLMAO might be offensive to some parents. Do you know the difference? Also, new abbreviations are added to the lexicon of technical communication on a daily basis. As a parent you need to be familiar with abbreviations so as to know what your kids are saying. You can check the internet for sites that list abbreviations and meanings.
Plagiarism and cheating: That kids are able to access information which expedites learning in ways never before thought of, is a wonderful outcome of technology today. That kids can also use this information to cheat in ways never before thought of, isn’t.

Kids will be kids, and they will try to “get away” with anything they can; this will never change. But the world of technology changes every day, and if parents remain technologically savvy, kids will have to work very hard to continue keeping those secrets.

Source: Internet Providers

Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens.

Why do Teens Steal and Shoplift?

2011-07-14T11:40:00.000-07:00

As we are in the summer months, more teens are hanging at the malls. I get an increase in calls of teens being arrested for stealing and/or shoplifting. Why are they doing this, especially if they have the money to pay for it?

Too Young To Start

There are almost as many reasons teens steal as there are things for teens to steal. One of the biggest reasons teens steal is peer pressure. Often, teens will steal items as a means of proving’ that they are “cool enough” to hang out with a certain group. This is especially dangerous because if your teen can be convinced to break the law for petty theft, there is a strong possibility he or she can be convinced to try other, more dangerous behaviors, like drinking or drugs. It is because of this that it is imperative you correct this behavior before it escalates to something beyond your control.
Another common reason teens steal is because they want an item their peers have but they cannot afford to purchase. Teens are very peer influenced, and may feel that if they don’t have the ‘it’ sneakers or mp3 player, they’ll be considered less cool than the kids who do. If your teen cannot afford these items, they may be so desperate to fit in that they simply steal the item. They may also steal money from you or a sibling to buy such an item. If you notice your teen has new electronics or accessories that you know you did not buy them, and your teen does not have a job or source of money, you may want to address whereabouts they came up with these items.

Teens may also steal simply for a thrill. Teens who steal for the ‘rush’ or the adrenaline boost are often simply bored and/ or testing the limits of authority. They may not even need or want the item they’re stealing! In cases like these, teens can act alone or as part of a group. Often, friends accompanying teens who shoplift will act as a ‘lookout’ for their friend who is committing the theft. Unfortunately, even if the lookout doesn’t actually steal anything, the can be prosecuted right along with the actual teen committing the crime, so its important that you make sure your teen is not aiding his or her friends who are shoplifting.

Yet another reason teens steal is for attention. If your teen feels neglected at home, or is jealous of the attention a sibling is getting, he or she may steal in the hopes that he or she is caught and the focus of your attention is diverted to them. If you suspect your teen is stealing or acting out to gain your attention, it is important that you address the problem before it garners more than just your attention, and becomes part of their criminal record. Though unconventional, this is your teen’s way of asking for your help- don’t let them down!

Need help? Visit www.HelpYourTeens.com and join us on Facebook.

Tween Years: Not so bad afterall

2011-07-09T07:46:00.000-07:00

As any parent can attest to, parenting is full of advice you never actually ask for. When you have your first child and they enter toddlerhood people endlessly warn you about the terrible two’s. You hear horror stories from friends, family, articles, and specialists about explosive tantrums and huge blowouts. As with most stories that get repeatedly built up time and time again, your actual experience is usually quite different. While there are problems, it never seems to be as bad as it was built up to be. Likewise, people are constantly talking about how difficult raising a tween is.

Just one search around the web for information on parenting tweens will uncover horrific anecdotes about hormonal preteens, shouting matches, and constant attitude. While you are certainly going to encounter plenty of events like these as a parent, these horror stories only obscure the great aspects of the tween years. There is more to tweens than just hormones and mood swings. It is during these crazy years that some of the best times in your parenting life occur.

Rather than focus on the negatives of raising a budding teenager, cherish these three aspects of your tween while you can.

1. They Are More Independent: Once our kids have left the child stage and entered the tween stage they begin to take on (and in many cases fight for) more independence. While in some instances this can cause tension for parents and their children, we should learn to utilize this independence in a way that benefits both ourselves and out tweens. Cherish that you no longer have to do everything for your child. You no longer have to wash their hair, tie their shoes, or pour their milk. As the parent of a tween, try to celebrate every new task that your child takes on. Let them take on some daily chores and do things for themselves. In many cases, your kids will be fighting for independence and responsibility so strongly, that having them prepare their own lunch in the morning or do the dishes at night can feel like a privilege for them. I know this sounds farfetched, but rather than fighting with your preteen about more independence why not celebrate it? Have your child take on more complex tasks at home. They will appreciate the trust you have in them and feel a sense of accomplishment when they complete the tasks.

2. They are Interesting: It is at this age that our kids begin to develop individual interests and hobbies. While it can be endearing to have your little one emulate all of your actions and interests, as many youngsters do with their parents, tweens begin to create their own individual personalities. Whether their interests are basketball or video games, music or horses, you can begin to see your child’s personality come out. This gives parents the opportunity to pursue a hobby with their child. Take an interest in what they are interested and inspired by. Use this as a way to grow with your tween and learn more about them. Watching your tween’s interests grow and evolve is one of the most exciting and fascinating aspects of parenting at this age.

3. They Get The Jokes: One thing that may cause many parents and teachers a bit of a headache are tweens’ newfound sense of irony and sarcasm. However, this more mature form of humor doesn’t have to be a bad thing by any means. Tweens are some of the most hilarious and creative comedians around. Use this age to laugh along with your tween. Play with words and puns, sarcasm and wit. Jokes that at one point might have gone completely over your child’s head are now funny and enjoyable for all parties involved. This is a great age to introduce your children to more mature movies and books. Find novels, books, movies, television shows that display a higher level of comedy and enjoy them with your kids.

Author Bio:
This is a guest post by Nadia Jones who blogs at online school about education, college, student, teacher, money saving, movie related topics. You can reach her at nadia.jones5@ gmail.com.

Teen Sex: Is Your Teen Hooking Up?

2011-07-01T10:34:00.000-07:00

Know what your teen is really saying.

Summer flings... What will your teen be doing this summer? Who will they be hanging with?

Parents, it is time you get in the know!

Have you ever wondered where certain expressions come from? Me too, which is why cliches and figures of speech have become a hobby of mine. Well, since it’s springtime, traditionally a time for romance, why not have a look at some expressions for getting together (wink-wink)?

Great! Here’s a list of 10 slang terms for “hooking up”, and their origins.

Discussing Uganda – This one is credited to the British magazine Private Eye, a satirical publication that has a tradition of coining such euphemisms. It stems from an incident at a party where a female journalist used the term to explain her absence during a brief sexual rendezvous upstairs, reportedly at the time when Idi Amin and his Ugandan regime predominated the news.
Friends With Benefits – A relationship wherein the partners are not romantically involved, and who would characterize their relationship essentially as a friendship, which includes consensual but non-committal sex ( the “benefits” part). The earliest reference of the phrase in this context that I could find is in the 1996 Alanis Morissette song, Head Over Feet.
Starter Marriage – A term referring to a marital hook-up, meaning a first marriage of short duration and with no children. It’s a play on the expression “starter home” whose popularity is credited to a book by Pamela Paul, The Starter Marriage and the Future of Matrimony.
To Know in the Biblical Sense – A euphemism for having sexual relations. Taken, as the term implies, from the Bible, as in Genesis 4:1 -”And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived…”
Making the Beast with Two Backs – Another sexual euphemism, this one from Shakespeare’s Othello, act 1, scene 1: Iago: I am one, sir, that comes to tell you your daughter and the Moor are now making the beast with two backs.
Tying the Knot – Marriage has long been associated with such metaphorical imagery of binding ties or knots. This phrase is said to have originated with a Roman custom where the bride wore a girdle which had knots that the groom would need to untie before consummating the union.
Jumping the Broom – In some cultures (Welsh and Gypsy, for instance), it is a ceremonial tradition for the groom and bride to literally jump over a broomstick, or a flowering branch of broom (evergreen shrub).
Painting the Town Red – This expression for spending an evening in revelry can be traced to Henry Beresford, the 3rd Marquess of Waterford, who quite literally painted the town of Melton Mowbray red to celebrate a successful fox hunt.
Booty Call – A modern-day reference to a request for casual sex; derived from the sexual term for a woman’s derriere, it means a call made to a prospective partner for the purpose of hooking up in order to have sex, or the act itself.
And, inevitably, we have sexual euphemisms derived from this age of the internet, including a favorite of mine which needs no explanation … Putting YouTube into MySpace.

Source: Top Dating Sites

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Teen Relationships: Summer Love

2011-06-26T05:05:00.000-07:00

Teenagers are no different than adults, they want to find love and find that relationship that they believe can fill their lives.

As summer is here, school is out in and teens are looking forward to their time off. Whether they are traveling with their family or off to summer camp, most will be meeting new people and building new relationships.

Love is the most influential, powerful state of being that any of us will ever encounter or experience in the course of our lives. It is beyond emotion, as it encompasses and affects all levels of our actions, thoughts, inspirations and aspirations. To be devoid of love is to be absent of life. The elements of love are intertwined and dependent upon one another; and, in most instances, are realized upon reciprocity. Any deficiency of these elements, or ‘links’, would therefore compromise the ‘chain’ that binds and holds each component together, and love will suffer.

Trust - This may be considered the most challenging element of love. You grant another person the right to hold your life, your emotions in their hands. You don’t question their intention as you firmly believe and confirm that they will not do you harm and, instead, will flourish with such privilege.

Honesty - There is no true love relationship that may occur without honesty. While certain truths may be painful to expose and share at times, the act and willingness to put truth above self-preservation is a constant testimony to that attests to the claim of love.

Tolerance - We are all predisposed to idiosyncrasies and quirks inherent in our personalities; and, in general, these are very good things. Oftentimes, however, such things may go across the grain of those closest to you. Tolerance permits these differences in actions or thoughts and accepts the them in the other’s composition as part of who they are, and not an affront to who they are.

Forgiveness -It is impossible to embrace another so closely without, at some time, hurting or disappointing them in some way. Forgiveness is the power and strength the ‘victim’ renders that indicates that the relationship is more important than the injury they feel has been done to them.

Kindness -As simple as this may appear, it is the food that helps a relationship to grow. Kindness acknowledges a unique awareness of the other person. It demonstrates gratitude and sensitivity in the relationship.

Security -While often difficult to foster and maintain in a relationship, security is closely related to trust. When you are secure in the relationship, envy and jealousy are less likely to raise their ugly heads. Security dismisses the notion that a partner may hold something or someone else in higher regard or interest.

Understanding/Compassion -It’s important to achieve an understanding of the motivations and values of your partner. True understanding and compassion recognizes that both the strengths, and weaknesses of another, equally comprise the total makeup of who they are.

Commitment -While some may see this is as a form of personal sacrifice, it is really quite the opposite. To be dedicated to the wants, needs and aspirations of your partner is truly noble and selfless. With commitment, your focus is on striving, to the best of your ability, to encourage anything that will bring prosperity and happiness to the other; and to do so without self-interest.

Respect -It’s important to avoid anything that would hinder the growth of the partner and, subsequently, the success of the relationship. This is achieved by showing respect for the partner and the relationship, at all times.

Desire–This would be considered the delicate thread that weaves through all those elements listed above. Without the passionate desire to meld with another, the concept of love would certainly be an exercise in futility.

As the title states, these are the ten words that describe love to me. You may have a different list, but it was a good exercise for me. Sometimes it helps just to think through what we really mean, when we use a word like ‘love’.

Source: Top Dating Sites

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Teens and Cell Phones: Should Your Teen Have One?

2011-06-20T06:37:00.000-07:00

This is a question many parents face as more and more tweens and teens are getting cell phones.

Is your teen ready for this responsibility?

Different families have come to different conclusions on this issue. In some families, every member of the family has their own cellphone, even kids that are not yet in their teen years. In other families, parents do feel it is necessary for their teenagers to own a cellphone.

Here are ten of the reasons parents have given for allowing their teens to have their own cellphones.

Emergencies – This is the biggest one, especially after a teen begins driving. They want their teens to have access to a phone if they should need it an emergency, such as an accident.
No excuses – Another reason is to eliminate the excuse for not calling home when they are going to be late or to ask permission about something. If they have a cellphone, they can’t use either of these excuses.
Busy schedules – Families have such busy schedules these days that it can be difficult to keep everything straight. It becomes a convenience issue for the parents. If the kids have cellphones, the parents can call to let them know if they are running late or if there’s been a change of plans, and vice versa.
Responsibility – Many parents use the cellphone as a tool for teaching personal responsibility. Kids are responsible for taking care of their phone and not losing or damaging it. They may also be given a limited number of minutes or text messages that they can use during the month and have to pay for overages themselves.
Texting – Much of today’s teenage communication goes on via text messaging rather than voice. A standard land line phone doesn’t have that option.
Phone conflict – If kids don’t have their own cellphones, then they are bound to be asking to borrow their parents on a regular basis. This can become an issue with teenagers who can often spend hours on the phone.
Babysitting – Teens who babysit sometimes will be in homes that no longer have a land line available for them to use while they are caring for the children. By having their own cellphone, they can call for help in an emergency and stay in contact with parents if necessary.
Privacy – The parents privacy, not theirs. If adults are sharing their cellphones with the kids, it eliminates their own privacy. Text messages they’ve received can be accessed by their kids, which is not always something a parent would want to happen.
Parental connection – Many kids have two homes to travel between after their parents divorce. Parents sometimes will provide their kids with a cellphone for their times when they are staying with the ex-spouse, to be assured on continued contact.
Savings – At times parents can find that giving their children their own cellphones is a cheaper alternative than simply sharing their phones with them. Check out special family plans to see what is available on your network.

This is a very individual subject. What is right for one child, may not be right for another. Each family needs to way out their own decision on the matter.

We also want to point out that we did make an argument for teen not getting a cell phone that you might find interesting.

Source: Phone Service

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Google and Your Teens: Know Your Digital Profile

2011-06-14T10:24:00.000-07:00

Know what the Internet is saying about you.

PEW study shows that about 75% of all Americans are using the Internet. More importantly over 53% of people are Googling each other! Do you know what Google and Bing are saying about you? Do you know what it says about your teenager? Is he/she virtually dressed for the college or job interview?

Whether your teen is applying to colleges or interviewing for a job, chances are very good that they are being Googled.

•53% of Americans Google each other. Pew Internet & American Life
•26% of college admissions officers use search engines to research candidates. University of Massachusetts Center for Market Research
•64% of teens say that most teens do things online that they wouldn’t want their parents to know about. anti-drug.com
•77% of executive recruiters use search engines to research applicants. CareerBuilder

What can you do? Encourage your teens to be sure they are virtually dressed before an Internet search is done on them! Another words, don’t get caught naked online! Naked doesn’t necessarily mean nude – it means inappropriate pictures and language that wouldn’t make your parents or grandparents blush!

Here are some 5 quick tips to start. Remember, the Internet is today’s information highway and your name has a road sign.

1. Sign up for free services and post your resume or other information that pertains to your services, business, profession etc. Some of these services are Visible.me, LookUpPages.com, Ziggs.com, LinkedIn.com.
2. For teenagers that will be applying for colleges, keep in mind, what you post today can haunt you tomorrow. More and more college admissions are using search engines to research their potential candidates. Take the time to secure your social networking sites and other places you surf. What does this mean? Keep it clean. Don’t post anything you wouldn’t want to show your parents or your grandparents!
3. Be sure to own your own name. Sign up for free services on Blogs with your name as the URL. Blogger.com and WordPress.com are two that are most frequently used. Try to keep them updated as time permits, however owning them is most important.
4. Set up your Google Alerts. You want to know when your name it being used online. This is another free service that will take you minutes to set up and keep you informed when your name is posted on the Internet. Twilert.com is used for Twitter Alerts. This is another free service to be alerted if people are using your name on Twitter.
5. Buy your domain name. This can be minimum in costs and the return will be priceless. Purchasing your name through GoDaddy or another source, can cost you about $9.99 a year (ie: www.suescheff.com). Building a small website can also be cost effective. GoDaddy and Weebly.com offers services to assist you. You may even know someone that can build this for you. Most teens today are very proficient with their technology skills.

Your online resume can literally make or break your interview or acceptance at colleges. Don’t risk it, keep your virtual presence alive and clean.

Be an educated parent, pass this on to your teens!

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Teen Drug Prevention Tips for Parents: Be an Educated Parent

2011-06-08T06:37:00.000-07:00

Drug use (substance abuse) is a serious cry for help, and making your teen feel ashamed or embarrassed can make the problem worse. Some common behavior changes you may notice if your teenager is abusing drugs and alcohol are:

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Violent outbursts, rage, disrespectful behavior
Poor or dropping grades
Unexplained weight loss or gain
Skin abrasions, track marks
Missing curfew, running away, truancy
Bloodshot eyes, distinct “skunky” odor on clothing and skin
Missing jewelry money
New friends
Depression, apathy, withdrawal
Reckless behavior

Tips to help prevent substance abuse:

1. Communication is the key to prevention.
Whenever an opportunity arises about the risks of drinking and driving or the dangers of using drugs, take it to start a conversation.
2. Have a conversation not a confrontation.
If you suspect your teen is using drugs, talk to them. Don’t judge them, talk to them about the facts of the dangers of substance abuse. If your teen isn’t opening up to you, be sure you find an adolescent therapist that can help.
3. Addict in the family?
Do you have an addict in your family? Sadly many families have been effected by someone that has allowed drugs to take over their lives. With this, it is a reminder to your teen that you want them to have bright future filled with happiness. The last thing you want for them is to end up like ____.
4. Don’t be a parent in denial.
There is no teenager that is immune to drug abuse. No matter how smart your teen is, or athletic they are, they are at risk if they start using. I firmly believe that keeping your teen constructively busy, whether it is with sports, music or other hobbies they have, you will be less at risk for them to want to experiment. However don’t be in the dark thinking that your teen is pulling a 4.0 GPA and on the varsity football that they couldn’t be dragged down by peer pressure. Go back to number one – talk, talk, talk – remind your teen how proud you are of them, and let them know that you are always available if they feel they are being pressured to do or try something they don’t want to.
5. Do you know what your teen is saying?
Listen or watch on texts or emails for code words for certain drug lingo. Skittling, Tussing, Skittles, Robo-tripping, Red Devils, Velvet, Triple C, C-C-C-, Robotard are some of the names kids use for cough and cold medication abuse. Weed, Pot, Ganja, Mary Jane, Grass, Chronic, Buds, Blunt, Hootch, Jive stick, Ace, Spliff, Skunk, Smoke, Dubie, Flower, Zig Zag are all slang for marijuana.
6. Leftovers.
Are there empty medicine wrappers or bottles, burn marks on their clothes or rug, ashes, stench, etc in their room or if they own a car, in their car? Teens (and tweens) either take several pills or smash them so all of it is released at once. Be sure to check all pockets, garbage cans, cars, closets, under beds, etc. for empty wrappers and other evidence of drug use. Where are your prescription drugs? Have you counted them lately?
7. Body language.
Tune into changes in your teen’s behavior. Changing peer groups, altering their physical appearance and/or lack of hygiene, eating or sleeping patterns changing, hostile and uncooperative attitude (defiance), missing money or other valuables from the home, sneaking out of the house, etc.
8. Access to alcohol.
Look around your home, is there liquor that is easily accessible? Teens admit getting alcohol is easy-and the easiest place to get it is in their home. Know what you have in the house and if you suspect your teen is drinking, lock it up! Talk to them about the risks of drinking, especially if they are driving.
9. Seal the deal.
Have your teen sign a contract to never drink and drive. Students Against Drunk Driving (SADD) www.saddonline.com provides a free online contract to download. It may help them pause just the second they need to not get behind that wheel.
10. Set the example, be the example.
What many parents don’t realize is that you are the leading role model for your teen. If your teen sees you smoking or drinking frequently, what is the message you are sending? Many parents will have a glass of wine or other alcoholic beverage, however the teen needs to understand you are the adult, and there is a reason that the legal drinking age is 21.

Do you have a teen that you suspect is using drugs? Have you exhausted all your local resources? Take the time to learn about residential therapy, visit www.HelpYourTeens.com. Each teen and family are unique, there are many teen help programs, knowing how to locate the one best for you can be a challenge, however Parents’ Universal Resource Experts can help, starting with a free consultation.

Wit’s End! Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out-of-Control Teen, (Health Communications, Inc) is a book most parents will find comfort in. Not only does it share the struggles of raising a problem teen, my daughter who was a good kid, very athletic, yet made some bad choices, this book also outlines how to locate safe and quality schools and programs.

“Learn from my mistakes, gain from my knowledge.” – Sue Scheff

Be an educated parent, you will have safer and healthier teens.

Animal Therapy: Making a Difference in Teens

2011-06-05T13:21:00.000-07:00

Animals help humans in more ways than we'll ever fully understand, but what we do know is that they can have an important role in a person's physical, social, educational and emotional well-being.

Animal-assisted therapy can be an effective alternative or addition to traditional therapy models, whether it's physical therapy, occupational therapy or cognitive behavior therapy. Even though animal-assisted therapy may not be able to fully heal a person or cure their disease, this life-changing interaction and companionship can improve a person's mobility, increase their self-esteem, foster learning and simply make life more enjoyable.

Here are 10 inspiring animal-assisted therapy programs:

Island Dolphin Care: Island Dolphin Care in Key Largo, Florida, is a truly inspiring and unique animal-assisted therapy program that uses dolphins to assist children with special needs, including physical and developmental disabilities, emotional challenges and illnesses. The unconditional support and gentle, fun-loving nature of dolphins eases children's nerves and helps increase their self-esteem. In addition to swimming with the dolphins, children will also learn a great deal about dolphins and improve their communication skills in the marine science and dolphin education program.
NARHA-Therapeutic Riding: NARHA (North American Riding for the Handicapped Association) is a national organization that specializes in therapeutic horseback riding for children and adults with special needs. NARHA's equine-assisted therapy programs have been shown to improve flexibility, balance and strength in people with physical disabilities, as well as increase their self-esteem and help them achieve goals they never thought were possible.
Breathing Space Thailand: Breathing Space Thailand, a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center in Thailand, has taken an innovative approach to helping people overcome their addiction and achieve sobriety with the help of elephants. This elephant-assisted therapy program is based on current equine and canine therapy models, but adds a different element of bonding through feeding, bathing and daily interactions within the elephant sanctuary. The gentle, fun nature and unconditional love of elephants helps clients overcome emotional issues, improve their mood and reduce anxiety as they recover.
Hearts in Harmony: Hearts in Harmony is a pet therapy organization located in East Texas that provides support and comfort to abused and at-risk children and adolescents using cuddly canines. This early therapeutic intervention program will help children cope with emotional issues and allow them to relax and receive unconditional love from the Hearts in Harmony dogs and volunteers, who are specialized to teach children about trust, respect, compassion and humane treatment of animals.
Therapet: Therapet is a non-profit animal-assisted therapy program that uses dogs, cats and miniature horses to help hospitalized patients with acute or chronic diseases feel better inside and out. Therapets serve a special purpose for patients during the rehabilitation and healing process. With the direction and supervision of therapists, these animals can help patients improve mobility, strength and balance, as well as increase self-esteem, reduce stress and anxiety and reach recovery goals.
Helping Hands: Helping Hands: Monkey Helpers for the Disabled is a touching program that places specially trained capuchin monkeys to assist patients suffering from severe spinal cord injuries, mobility impairments and other disabilities. These monkeys help people with daily activities that they might never be able to do otherwise. In addition to being excellent helpers around the house, capuchin monkeys also provide companionship, love and support for their owners and help them feel better inside and out.
Mountain Peaks Therapy Llamas: The Mountain Peaks Therapy Llamas provide a fun-filled alternative to traditional animal-assisted therapy. These easygoing and friendly llamas bring a great deal of happiness and joy to their admirers at hospitals, schools, rehab facilities, day care centers and nursing homes around Portland, OR and Vancouver, WA. Patients interact with the llamas in a number of different ways, helping individuals improve mobility, reduce stress, combat loneliness and calm their nerves.
HOPE Animal-Assisted Crisis Response: HOPE Animal-Assisted Crisis Response is a truly unique and inspirational program that uses dogs to provide support and compassion to people affected by disasters and traumatic events. HOPE canines and certified handlers report all of over the nation to bring joy and comfort to people during the recovery phase. Simply playing with and petting a dog during tough times can reduce stress, improve your mood and help you cope more easily.
Kitty Angels Foundation: Kitty Angels is a one-of-a-kind cat-assisted therapy program located in Massachusetts that assists the disabled, elderly and ill through fun-filled feline visits. Trained handlers visit hospitals, schools, rehabilitation centers and nursing homes and bring their cuddly cats along for people to pet and play with. Often, patients develop close, meaningful bonds with the kitties and they experience increased mobility, decreased blood pressure and are less lonely.
The Family Farm: The Family Farm, located in Twisp, Washington, provides farm-animal assisted therapy to children, adults and families who are in need of physical and emotional healing. From pigs, horses, goats and hens, The Family Farm gives clients the opportunity to work with one or all of the animals and assist with feeding, brushing, bathing and exercising. The animal-human interactions on the farm help people increase their strength, improve communication skills and motivate them to achieve goals.

Special Contributor: Anna Miller of Online Degree

If you are at your wit's end with an at-risk teen or a teen that is struggling and making bad decisions, there are excellent programs that can help through animal-assisted therapy. Founded in Broward County, Parents' Universal Resource Experts has helped, and continues to help, thousands of families dealing with troubled teens.

Gay Teens: Teen Sexuality and Facts about Gay Marriage

2011-05-26T10:15:00.000-07:00

We are living in a new culture and a generation that many parents and even more grandparents have a difficult time understanding.

Teen sexuality is a topic that needs to be addressed. Being comfortable in one’s own sexuality is by no means propaganda for homophobic megalomaniacs; it means, quite simply, knowing exactly what you want, how you want it, and when you want it. However some parents and people have a hard time accepting this. If your teen is gay, don't be ashamed, be an educated parent. Learn all you can about lifestyles, even if they are not what you agree with.

Gay marriage is an extremely controversial topic. There are very strong feelings on both sides of the issue. It is an issue that entangles legal rights and religious beliefs, always a volatile mix. This article will list ten facts that are commonly given as reasons for gay marriage.

Divorce protection. Married couples who decide to end their relationship must do so through the court system. This protects the two parties from inequitable division of assets and liabilities that have been held jointly. This protection is not available to unmarried gay couples or unmarried heterosexual couples, though they can certainly enter into contractual agreements in regards to their relationships that would provide the same or better protection to their rights.
Bereavement leave. Whether it is paid or unpaid, almost every employer allows for time off from work for the bereavement of your spouse or other close family members. Couples, whether gay or straight, who do not have a marriage certificate, are dependent upon the compassion of their employers to provide them a similar benefit, should their life partner die.
Survivor benefits. Social security and many pension plans provide survivor benefits to surviving spouses, another benefit not available to unmarried couples.
Tax benefits. There are many different tax benefits that are offered to married couples, such as filing jointly, that a gay couple does not have access to without marriage. Again, the same is true for unmarried heterosexuals.
Insurance benefits. Although this has changed with a few employers and insurance companies, most insurance benefits that are available to an employee’s spouse or family members are not available to an employee’s life partner.
Sick leave to care for a partner. State and federal laws provide protection for worker’s jobs when they need to take time off to care for family members for medical reasons. Without the benefit of marriage, these laws do not provide the same protection for unmarried couples.
Stability of relationships. There are those who would argue that entering into a marriage relationship that is recognized legally, and by society in general, would bring greater stability to some gay couples. With the high rate of divorce and marriage conflict among heterosexual couples, this argument would imply that the same would not apply to gay couples, which seems unlikely.
Validation of family unit. This reason for gay marriage is much more societal than the ones that relate to monetary and legal benefits listed above. Proponents of gay marriage would argue that a legal and recognized marriage would legitimize their family unit in the eyes of society, which would be emotionally beneficial to a gay couple and any children in the household. The truth to this can only be theorized, as with any other major change to the norm of society.
Relational ties to extended family. Conventional marriage relationships become easily translated into inlaws, aunts and uncles. Non-married couples can be left without these inclusive family titles that have always come via marriage. With the increase of heterosexual couples that have chosen not to marry, this issue, again, is not exclusive to gay couples.
Cultural change. When all the reasons for gay marriage are brought together, they boil down to this one. Proponents for gay marriage believe that there needs to be a change in how modern society views and relates to homosexuals. Legalizing gay marriage is considered to be a major step in bringing about that change. It is also the reason why those who do not feel that homosexuality is acceptable, for religious or other reasons, take such a strong stand against it.

The affect of the legalization of gay marriage on society is something that can only be speculated at. First of all, no one knows how many gay couples would choose to enter into a marriage relationship, if it were available. The initial influx into the marriage ranks might be large to begin with, but whether or not the trend would continue is hard to judge. The financial impact of such a major shift in private and governmental benefits cannot be accurately calculated, but it would certainly be significant, as would the impact on society in general. The legalization of gay marriage, as shown above, would be a major cultural change that affects many more lives than the gay community itself. The debate over this issue will not be quickly or easily settled, nor should it be.

Source: Top Dating Sites

Continue reading on Examiner.com Teen sexuality: 10 Facts for gay marriage - Fort Lauderdale Parenting Teens | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/parenting-teens-in-fort-lauderdale/teen-sexuality-10-facts-for-gay-marriage#ixzz1NTnNgyXc

Defiant Teens? Troubled Teens? Open the Lines of Communication

2011-05-18T15:34:00.000-07:00

A special guest writer, Robbie Wilson, as asked me to share an article he recently wrote for my readers. As a Parent Advocate for parents of struggling teens and an Author, I applaud Robbie’s understanding of today’s teens and how parents react to them.

How to deal with a rebellious teenager
By Robbie White

No matter how you brought up your offspring, whether you are an affluent family from a quiet suburb or whether your teenager has had a difficult upbringing, a rebellious teen can crop up in any family. Maybe there is a deep seated memory of a North American truck, pulling into the driveway preparing to move your family across the country. Whatever the case may be, there is a solution.

Are you a power-happy parent who loves the control of being a mother or father? Or do you have a high powered career which takes up the majority of your time? Either way, your child could be screaming out for your attention. That boyfriend you dislike, the mess of their bedroom, the fact that you just feel like screaming at them when they continually miss school all boil down to one factor – they want to be noticed.

I hear you shout, ‘well, what can I do?’ Simple, give them the attention they deserve after all they are your children. You have to be frank, not just give in by giving them what they want, do something together and try to build a relationship. Try and find a hobby that you can take part in together, when I was younger I was a rebellious teen – always in trouble at school, always breaking things and getting up to mischief around the house.

My dad started taking an interest in my favorite hobby, football; he started taking me to training and watched my games on the weekend. Instantly, we had something to relate to, a thirty year age gap quashed because we are both interested in the same thing.

It’s time to get involved and talk to your teenager about their problems, the reason for their rebellion could be boredom. You have life experience on your side, try to point them in the right direction, you were a teenager once – your honesty and your interest will play huge dividends in the future. If your son or daughter can open up to you, talk to you about their issues, you are half way there – good luck!

Contact Robbie at Robbie465@professionalintern.com at Professional Intern.
Thanks to Robbie for sharing his story!

10 Signs of Verbal Abuse in a Relationship

2011-05-12T05:49:00.000-07:00

Many people are involved in abusive relationships that don’t create any physical scars or bruises. The abuse they suffer is just as real and just as destructive to their well-being. Verbal abuse can damage a person emotionally when they must live with it in their home on a continuous basis. Because it is ‘just words’ it is often not recognized as being abuse ,by either the victim or those around them. Men are victims of this type of abuse, just as women are. Here are ten signs of verbal abuse in a relationship.

Name calling – Derogatory name calling, such as stupid, dummy, idiot or other such demeaning terms should not be considered a normal part of a relationship. Even when a person is angry, this type of language is not necessary and shows an extreme lack of respect for the other person and should be considered abusive.
Cursing – Many people curse when they get upset. That is not uncommon. However, when the cursing is directed at another person and is combined with some of the other signs listed here, it can also be a sign of verbal abuse.
Shouting – Again, raising a persons voice in anger is not uncommon. But if one person in a relationship is continually raising their voice in anger towards the other one, it may be a sign that they use their voice to intimidate that other party.
Put downs – Continual criticism, and a refusal to acknowledge positive achievements, can be another aspect of verbal abuse. Everyone is in need of affirmation of their value and worth to those around them, to some degree.
Threats – Being verbally threatened can be as frightening as having those threats carried out. Verbal abusers often will threaten their victims with physical harm, embarrassment, restrictions on their finances, harm to others and retaliation in a variety of other forms.
Blame – Abusers will often blame their victims for their actions. ‘If you wouldn’t be so stupid.’ ‘If you wouldn’t have done that.’ Every person is responsible for their own choices and actions. In an abusive situation, the abuser will always find an excuse to continue their behavior, no matter how much the victim tries to perfect their own.
Lack of courtesy – Ignoring common courtesies within a relationship can also be a sign of abuse. An abuser may not feel it is necessary to make requests, but instead gives orders to the other person. The manners they display with others may be lacking when it comes to that indivdual.
Low self-esteem – There are signs that can be seen in the victim, as well. A low self-esteem is a natural result of abuse, in any form. The victim often does not see themselves as deserving better treatment.
Timidity – Victims of verbal abuse will often appear timid and hesitant to speak up or ask questions. The slightest raising of your voice may cause them to cower or bring tears to their eyes. They are used to being intimidated and controlled by another person’s voice.
Fear of failure – Since victims of abuse are often told it is their failures that bring on the abuse, they have a great fear of failure. New circumstances and learning opportunities are often seen simply as risks of failure, which could lead to the abuse they try so desperately to avoid.

Source: Best Dating Sites

Bike Safety for Teens and Kids

2011-05-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

Summer biking, saving gas!

If you have you will notice more people riding bikes, and they aren't just the local college students. With the gas prices rising, more people are getting out their bikes.

Bike safety is usually targeted at parents with children, but with more people taking to the double wheels, it is a great reminder for everyone!

Some things to remember ...

Bikes are not toys, they are vehicles, just like cars and trucks.
You are a "driver" when you ride in the street.
Each year, thousands of children are seriously injured from bike, skates, and skateboard falls and crashes that could have been prevented.

Rules For Safe Biking

Ride a bike that is the right size for you.
Check that the wheels aren't loose and your brakes work before each ride.
Restrict cycling to sidewalks, paths and driveways until children show how well they can ride and observe basic rules of the road (usually around age 9).
STOP before riding out into traffic from a driveway, sidewalk, alley, or parking lot. Look left, right, and left again. When there's no traffic, enter roadway.
Ride on the right side of the road, with the flow of traffic.
Obey all stop signs and red lights. Children should walk, not ride, through busy intersections.
Look back and yield to traffic coming from behind before turning left at intersections.
Do not ride in the wrong direction on one way streets.
Use proper hand signals to indicate turns.
Ride single file.
Give the right of way to pedestrians.
Carry no passengers (except on approved baby seats).
Wear a helmet EVERY time you ride your bike, roller skate, roller blade or skateboard. Helmets should fit comfortably and not move around on the head. Only buy helmets that are SNELL and/or ANSI approved.

Remember parents, you need to set the example!

Continue reading on Examiner.com: Bike Safety: Gas going up? Bikes coming out! - Jacksonville Parenting Teens | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/parenting-teens-in-jacksonville/bike-safety-gas-going-up-bikes-coming-out#ixzz1LO7n0mao

High School Proms, Underage Drinking

2011-04-26T08:47:00.000-07:00

The event of prom is no small matter, endless movies have been crafted around this big dance– can we say “Footloose” without our toes tapping?

With nostalgia comes temptation, not only for teens, but parents. Local St. Johns County parents with seniors graduating this year may remember when the legal drinking age was 18. Coupled with memories of your own senior prom, well meaning, otherwise logical parents may be tempted to relax an otherwise firm “no alcohol” policy for this special event.

Let’s talk you off the ledge and back into your parent pants.

P is for planning. Seniors want to have a good time at prom. Regrettably, they’ve grown up in a media culture that has shown them images of good times being had with alcohol, and alcohol only. The best way to mediate this attitude is to literally plan for a goodtime. What happens before prom and after prom are often more important than the prom. Contrary to popular belief, teens are not wired to drink; they’re wired for fun and risky behavior. Pool parties, slip and slides with bubbles, scavenger hunts and other types of crazy and somewhat goofy activities make memorable events. If you’re not planning for fun, they’ll find it on their own.
R is for respect. Most teens don’t respect parents who provide alcohol to minors and the largest portion of alcohol to minors comes from a small percentage of parents. The adage “their going to do it anyway” is a slippery slope for parents trying to convince themselves they’re doing the right thing by providing alcohol. There are many things teens “might” do when given the opportunity – sex, drugs, speed, steal, lie – at the end of the day, we’re obligated to provide the framework for good decisions, not try to mediate potential bad ones.
O is for omnipresent. Defined as, “present everywhere”, our teens once believed we were omnipresent. No matter where they were, or what they were doing, we somehow knew or found out everything. As they get older, carry more responsibility, and prove themselves worthy, we loosen our omnipresent grip. Consider however, that a teen’s brain is rapidly developing until about 21 to 22 years of age. Their decision making still has very much to do with two things – 1) what is everyone else doing? and 2) will I get caught? A healthy dose of omnipresence before big events such as prom reminds your teen that you still care enough to check up on them and gives them a powerful out should they face an overdose of peer pressure.
M is for memories. Remind teens that the best way to remember prom is to add nothing but fun. Who wants to risk having their head end up in a toilet, have a date that pukes all over them, or be so hung over you can’t make it to the beach the next day? When they send their own teen off to prom, the memory of how you handled their prom, from pictures to rules to curfew will undoubtedly be fresh in their minds. Let’s keep the parent pants on and enjoy prom. Be the wall between teens and alcohol.

Provided by PACT Prevention Coalition of St. Johns County
Visit www.PACTPrevention.org for more information and remember, “Be The Wall!”

Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens!

Continue reading on Examiner.com: Prom is a four letter word – Jacksonville Parenting Teens | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/parenting-teens-in-jacksonville/prom-is-a-four-letter-word#ixzz1KX8pjsCI

10 Reasons Parents Need to Learn about Technology their Kids are Using

2011-04-19T07:21:00.000-07:00

Protect your kids online.

According to the results of one survey I read, 46.9% of internet users are under the age of 25. Taking those results, this article should be an interesting one. While part of that percentage is probably in their twenties, that leaves a big number below the age of 18.

It is wonderful how new technology has brought us closer to all points of the world. Technology, especially the Internet has made our once big world small; Insomuch that at any given time we can talk to China or Australia and never leave our home in rural America. While for the business world that may be a good thing, it goes without saying that for our children, it is a little much for them to be experiencing so much of the world so soon.

I enjoy watching the TV show “To catch a predator”. Maybe enjoy isn’t the correct word, but it is interesting to say the least. Maybe the part I like best about is to see the would be pedophile caught, and watch him squirm. Also knowing it is a foiled attempt to actually meet a young innocent teenager. I like watching as they are hauled off to jail to stay awhile and think about what they are doing or were about to do. How many are actually rehabilitated is a million dollar question.

The outcry from parents has been so loud against pop-up pornography sites that the Microsoft people have played a big part in stopping most pop-ups. As careful as I am about certain sites my PC got viruses and I had to have it commercially cleaned. I was appalled at what they found – so thankfully it was removed with no harm done except the fee I had to pay for getting it cleaned up.

Without thinking young people fill in applications for this or that, leaving themselves open to the world with all their information; from age to sex to likes and dis-likes. Nothing is hidden on the WWW. Parents beware of what your children are telling about themselves. Spammers are good at what they do. And once Spammed is too late to keep it from happening.

A recent article about parents in China, showed that 42.6 percent of the parents surveyed “strongly oppose their children’s use of Internet” or “relatively oppose”, while as high as 78.4 percent say they worry that surfing Internet could adversely affect children’s study. Another 44.9 percent worry about their children’s exposure to pornography online.

I remember when CHAT was the thing back in the 90’s. It was weird to get on a chat with people one did not know just to talk (chat) awhile. It opened up an exciting venture for teens to introduce themselves and chat with people around the world. Now the truth is – were they from down the street? Across town? Was their name really Jack or Mary? There are a lot of messed up people in the world and children are not mature enough to know the difference in real versus crazy people.

Now there is the ChatRoulette which is supposed to be for viewers above18 years or older, however there is not a place to enter the birth date of the viewer. By the name Roulette, it gives us a good picture of the content. It is easily accessible using Skype and what the viewer sees on the screen is anyone’s guess and from what I read it can get pretty graphic even porn-a-graphic.

One thinks of the internet as a place to do research and study. Invariably it has taken place of my set of World Book Encyclopedia’s. However not everything on the Internet is true. Just because it is in print and somehow got on the internet, does not make it Gospel. Everyone has an opinion. Opinions are not History. History is an actual accepted record of what happened at a certain point in time.
Kim Komando of CyberSpeak, brought up an interesting subject with the following: “We all know that music can alter your mood. Sad songs can make you cry. Upbeat songs may give you an energy boost. But can music create the same effects as illegal drugs?"
This seems like a ridiculous question. But websites are targeting your children with so-called digital drugs. These are audio files designed to induce drug-like effects. All your child needs is a music player and headphones.”

Do you find this as scary as I do? I wish I were knowledgeable enough to even discuss it, however it would bear great urgency for Parents to check it out. I found the information on the USA Today site. Very informative.

Then there is U Tube, the place where a megabyte of fame is worth everything. Kids have excess to cameras every day; on their phone or mini video cameras. In a moment when a young lady has let her guard down can change her life forever. Or for that matter a young man, being teased can be shown on the WWW and he is embarrassed for life. What may have started out as a joke, may wind up as being harassment.
We cannot keep our children locked up for short seven years of their teens. The Internet is technology that is here to stay. And from the youngest of ages, our children are being exposed to the World Wide Webb.
Warren Buckleitner, editor of Children’s Technology Review says, “Kids are surrounded by screens in a way like never before, at home, in their pockets, in the minivan, and they know how to use them at younger and younger ages and Parents must be a part of it.” He goes on to say: “”If you’re going to allow your kid to go to a website or play a game, you have to first check it out yourself. Think about it, you don’t let your child eat a meal you’ve never tasted before.”

Special guest contributor: Kate Crosten of Internet Services

Read more.

Troubed Teens? Call Teen Help Advice

2011-04-12T08:48:00.000-07:00

If your teen needs help, call today.

Recently launched yet has helped over 30,000 families, www.TeenHelpAdvice.com offers over 25+ years of combined experience in the big business of teen help schools and programs.

Offering sound and objective advice, the Teen Help Advisers are experts in the “business” of the teen help industry. The good, the bad and the ugly. Many parents are duped on a daily basis when they have reached their wit’s end. They are feeling desperate – alone – and hopeless.

No more! We have been there – I have been duped, my teen was abused and I am determined that this doesn’t happen to other parents as they believe they are getting help.

The questionable decision to hire an Educational Consultant (EC) can be answered very quickly.
Just yesterday (and many times prior) I hear from parents that have spent at least $2500 to as much as $5000.00 for the services of an Educational Consultant. Yesterday this desperate mother, located in the Northeast, hired an EC months ago for her troubled teenage daughter. It was determine she needed a smaller program and the EC said that Utah was the only place – there weren’t any options on the East Coast! Now she is broke and her daughter still needs help.

Seriously? There are options, but these options won’t play politics in the Educational Consultant industry. So they are cut off from parents that are on the East Coast that hire EC’s and these parents honestly don’t know any better.

Even on the West Coast – this happens. The same programs are rotated through the EC Shuffled – and very likely you are spending an additional $15K-20K on a Wilderness program first. Their philosophy – they need to break your teen down! Isn’t your teen already broken? Why not start and finish at the same program? Why put your teen through changing therapists and their peer support groups – not to mention their structure? Don’t our teens need some positive consistency?

YES – they do.

Contact www.TeenHelpAdvice.com to learn more.

Teen study with disturbing results: 5 or more drinks, no biggy

2011-04-07T05:42:00.000-07:00

April is Alcohol Awareness Month and a new teen study just released has teen drug (including drinking) use trending in a negative direction.

Downing five or more alcoholic drinks nearly every day isn't seen as a big problem for many of the nation's teens, says a new report.

According to the report:

Teens See Little Risk in Heavy Drinking; Parents Feel They Can’t Stop Risky Behavior
Weak perceptions of risk and a perceived “normalization” of underage drinking underlie the PATS survey data on adolescent alcohol use.

Almost half of teens (45 percent) reported they do not see a “great risk” in heavy daily drinking.
Only 31 percent of teens strongly disapprove of teens and peers their age getting drunk.
A majority of teens, seven out of 10 (73 percent), report having friends who drink alcohol at least once a week.

While the number one reason teens reported using alcohol is that they think “it’s fun to drink” (60 percent), a significant number of teens reported using alcohol to deal with stress.
As communities, schools and parents continue to be proactive in educating teens and kids about the risks and dangers of drugs and alcohol, it seems teens still believe they are invulnerable. It is time to step it up and create stronger campaigns against substance abuse.

The Partnership at Drugfree.org is an organization that is taking action. With resources such as Time to Get Help, offers valuable information and tools for parents, teens and educators.

Visit www.TeenHelpAdvice.com if you are considering outside help for your teen.

Read more.

Boot Camps and Jails should never be an option

2011-04-04T06:38:00.000-07:00

Don't break your teen down, get real help.

There are parents that believe that their teenager needs to be taught a lesson - learn to appreciate what they have, understand that respect is expected not a choice.

However what many parents, in their time of anger and frustration, don't realize is that their teen isn't happy with themselves either. They are crying out for help with their negative behavior.

Seeking a scared straight program or even a boot camp can be more damage than parents realize. You are taking a broken child and beating them down even more (emotionally - if not psychically).

Is your teen using drugs? Smoking pot? Suspended or expelled from school? Failing? Hanging with a new group of kids that are not on their way to a bright future?

Don't be a parent in denial but don't make rash choices. Having your teen arrested may end up doing more than teaching him/her a lesson. Who will they meet in juvie? What will this accomplish?

There are options. Take your time - do your research. Visit www.TeenHelpAdvice.com - and get answers!

Teen Help Programs: Red River Academy, Horizon Academy, etc...Be on ALERT

2011-03-27T07:45:00.000-07:00

My experiences with WWASPS

SCAMS? FRAUD? ABUSE?

If you read my personal Blogs, most know my story. From the time my daughter turned 14 and started giving me a handful of troubles, to finding a so-called teen-help program that make me a lot of promises. Not only were the promises broken, my daughter endured abuse both physically (being placed in a box for 17 hours), sleeping in sewage and other indescribable things - forced me into starting a crusade (as some have put it) to let parents that are desperate know more about this big business of "teen help".

Here we are - almost a decade later, and the program that harmed my daughter (did I mention I defeated them in a jury trial?) is finally closed. Carolina Springs Academy also known recently as Magnolia Christian School (both affiliated with WWASPS) closed their doors. Hopefully it is for good. However, that didn't stop the owners, Lichfield brothers, from going abroad.

The recent news from The Tico Times: Child Welfare Office closes yet another teen reform center
is yet another example that someone is not paying attention. Parents are not doing their due diligence before placing a teen in a program.

Although we had a very bad experience, it doesn't mean that quality schools and programs are not needed. Many teens are in distress- parents are at their wit's end and they need options. Safe and qualified options. Which is why I created Parents' Universal Resource Experts - a website to help educate you. It offers questions to ask, helpful hints and much more when looking for programs. The number one thing you don't want to do - is leave our country!

Although many may think this is about selling my book, Wit's End!, or my story - I challenge you to read it and I promise you will find things you never knew about these types of specialty programs. Learn your rights. Learn about transports - they are not all bad, but you need to know who is licensed and insured and who isn't. Who is about making this trip go smoothly and who is about just getting paid.

Be an educated parent - don't get scammed, get your teen the help they need and do your due diligence.

Do you think you need an Educational Consultant? It is likely you don't need to spend this extra money - parents know what is best for their individual teen. My experiences with Educational Consultants is questionable at best.

Try not to get sucked into short term programs like Wilderness, or punitive like Boot Camps - in the long run - they are short term programs with short term results. In many situations of parents I have spoken with, the teen ends up with more anger and resentment that is targeted at the person that sent them there. With Wilderness Program, it can be a false sense of recovery. Usually they recommend a treatment center following the $15-20K you just spent... Start and finish at the same place.... teens need consistency.

Here are a list of alleged WWASPS facilities and their marketing arms as of 3/26/11:

Academy of Ivy Ridge, NY (CLOSED)
Bell Academy, CA (CLOSED)
Canyon View Park, MT
Camas Ranch, MT
Carolina Springs Academy, SC (License revoked, re-opened as Magnolia Hills Christian)
Casa By the Sea, Mexico (CLOSED)
Cross Creek Programs, UT (Cross Creek Center and Cross Creek Manor)
Darrington Academy, GA (CLOSED)
**Discovery - Mexico (see below)
El Dorado, Costa Rica - 90 Day Boot Camp
Help My Teen, UT (Adolescent Services Adolescent Placement) Promotes and markets these programs.
Gulf Coast Academy, MS (CLOSED)
Horizon Academy, NV
Jane Hawley - Lifelines Family Services
Kathy Allred - Lifelines Sales Representative
Lisa Irvin - Helpmyteen and Teens in Crisis (Will use Lisa Irvine at times too)
Lifelines Family Services, UT (Promotes and markets these programs) Jane Hawley
Magnolia Christian School, SC - formerly Carolina Springs Academy (RE-OPENING 2011)
Mark Peterson - Teen Help Sales Representative
Majestic Ranch, UT
MENTOR School, Costa Rica (CLOSED as of 3/25/11)
Midwest Academy, IA (Brian Viafanua, formerly the Director of Paradise Cove as shown on Primetime, is the current Director here)
Parent Teen Guide - Promotes and markets these programs
Pillars of Hope, Costa Rica
Pine View Christian Academy, (Borders FL, AL, MS)
Reality Trek, UT
Red River Academy, LA (Borders TX)
Respect Academy, NV
Royal Gorge Academy, CO (CLOSED)
Sherri Schwartzman - Lifelines Sales Representative
Sky View Academy, NV (allegedly closed?)
Spring Creek Lodge, MT (CLOSED) Rumors they have re-opened in another location of MT.
Sunset Bay Academy, CA
Teen Help, UT (Promotes and markets these programs)
Teens In Crisis - Lisa Irvin
Tranquility Bay, Jamaica
Sunset Bay Academy, Oceanside, CA - rumors of short term program there

Troubled Teens: Do You Need an Educational Consultant?

2011-03-23T08:22:00.000-07:00

As a parent, you know your teen best.

Over and over again I will hear from parents that are either considering hiring an Educational Consultant, or have hired one.

What is an Educational Consultant? (EC) They are an individual that may or may not have qualifications to help you place your troubled teen into a treatment center. Years ago, EC's were mainly used for parents that needed help in finding the right colleges for their teens, help with their applications etc.

As our world turned, the need for help in the troubled teen industry grew. It became a new outlet for EC's to make money. As the Internet was growing, more and more parents and teens were able to do all their college searches online - and get information at their finger tips.

Well, the Internet has expanded again - with the help of Facebook, Blogs, forums etc more parents are able to do their searches for residential therapy without the help and extra fees of an EC. However, it is difficult to decide what is best for your teenager or what online information is true, false or fabricated.

As a parent of a troubled teen, I went through all these motions. From the EC to the Internet scams - I hit it all. My story is not a happy one, however it is one that thousands of families have learned from.

I ended up with a program that did more harm than good, and with that, followed years of litigation and my strong desire to find out what this "big business of teen help" is all about.

For over a decade I have made it my mission - I have seen and visited many good, bad and ugly programs. But what I have heard over and over again is the EC Shuffle which is just as disturbing as finding a bad program.

Almost every family I spoke with that hired an EC were given the same advice - Wilderness - then we will see - and of course, by the fourth week of Wilderness they are telling the parents - we need to go to step two - a residential boarding school..... So this teen that thought he was leaving to go home within 6-8 weeks now finds out he is going to yet another program.

He/she will have to start all over again with their issues, new program, new staff and more feelings of abandonment all over again.

EC's have told parents that Wilderness will help break their teen down to be better prepared for a therapeutic boarding school - but correct me if I am wrong, isn't our teen already broken? Why are we looking for help?

Either way, it is just very disheartening that when parents are at their weakest moment they believe what they hear from what they assume are experts.

Full Disclosure: I am not against Wilderness programs, many teens have a wonderful experience, but many parents can't afford them - and please don't regret it. There are some good EC's out there - like every business, you need to do your due diligence.

At the end of the day, you need to find what is best for your teen, as a parent you are capable of making these choices. You may just need some sound guidance - visit www.HelpYourTeens.com and you will find lists of questions, hints in searching and much more.

I just believe enough is enough when it comes to this EC Shuffle....

Treatment for Troubled Teens: Wilderness Programs - Falses sense of help?

2011-03-15T08:35:00.000-07:00

For the many people that know me, they know I don't believe in Wilderness programs, nor do I advocate for short term programs. This doesn't mean there aren't reputable Wilderness programs in our country. There are, however chances are very good, after your teen attends one - within the first 30 days, the program will tell you it is likely you will need to go on to a residential therapy program. Which means....

More money
Another trip
Another therapist
Another schedule
Etc....

Back to the first one - the costs are exuberant for Wilderness, and to combine it with another at least $50K for a boarding school is simply out of the equation for many families.

I am writing this information today for two reasons. One, I have received several calls this week alone by parents that fell for the Wilderness road. Now they are out of money and need a program, but the funding is no where to be found. What do you do? Their teen is back to the streets - smoking the dope and failing in school. (Let's also remember most Wilderness programs don't offer academics).

One thing these at-risk teens need is consistency. Usually for the past several months, even years they have been spiraling out of control, driving down a negative path with a negative peer group.

Going to Wilderness is a great experience - they get to vent to their counselor, talk about their feelings and dig deep inside. They even get a new appreciation of sleeping in their bed or a bed. They are also knowing that once they just get through these next 6-8-10 weeks - they are home free.

Now, you tell them they are not home free - they are going to the "next step" - a longer term program. Now they have to get over the disappointment, anger, resentment and most of all, they have to start all over again with a new therapist - a new staff and a new setting. Sigh.....

Of course this is the case for the families that can afford that next step. If they can't - some will be facing a probation officer or public defender within a few months. Solid changes and "lasting" changes cannot be made within 6-8-10 weeks.

This is way an average successful program is 6-9-12 months (not weeks). On the same note, you don't want programs that are taking your teen completely out of the family for more than 18-24 months - that is not emotionally healthy. It can contribute to abandonment issues -which can backfire.

Do you want to learn more? Visit www.HelpYourTeens.com and find out about resources and options for troubled teens.

Are Wilderness program worth it? It is my opinion of after a decade of talking with thousands of family - no, they simply are not worth it. That doesn't mean families they aren't useful to some people, but from the many I have spoken with - they do have good experiences however know that it is step they didn't really need. Of course, we all are different.

Therapy Isn't Working: What is the next step?

2011-03-09T05:09:00.000-08:00

Going to therapy seems to be the first step parents take when they realize their tween or teen is starting to go down a negative path.

It is important to find a therapist that specialize with adolescents - one that understands the "teen talk".

But what happens when therapy isn't working? What happens when your teens starts to manipulate the therapist? What happens when the therapist believes it is time for the next step?

It is time to look for a boarding school, one that offers the support your teen needs both emotionally and academically. It is important to understand, although education is absolutely a necessity, you have to realize that the teens needs to be emotionally balanced in order to do well at anything.

This doesn't mean you look at programs that don't offer academics, such as many Wilderness programs, parents need to keep 3 major issues in their mind.

Academic's/Education
Clinical/Therapy
Enrichment Programs/Extra-Curriculum Activities

Don't skimp on any of the above. You will first be stung by the sticker shock - then you need to take this search seriously. There are state funded programs through your local United Way, as well as programs that offer financial help in accordance to your income. It just takes time and diligence to find exactly what fits your families needs.

Learn more at www.helpyourteens.com - There is more to residential therapy than what you find online.

Teen Obesity: 10 Frightening Fact About Childhood Obesity

2011-03-05T05:03:00.000-08:00

What snacks are your kids eating?

There’s really no questioning it: childhood obesity is a problem. Many have labeled it as an epidemic. In the past, the term “obesity” has only been associated with adults, but this idea has changed, as cases of child obesity are increasing every day. Studies show that childhood obesity has more than tripled in the past 30 years — The Center for Disease Control and Prevention indicates that obesity among children from the ages of 6 to 11 years has increased from 6.5% in 1980 to 19.8% in 2008, and that obesity among adolescents from the ages of 12 to 19 years increased from 5% in 1980 to 18.1% in 2008 (and these statistics are now 3 years old).

More often than not, obesity is the result of a flawed lifestyle, where the number of calories consumed far outweighs the number of calories expended. Although genetics can be a factor, it is more and more common now for children to be obese or overweight because of environmental and behavioral factors. With nearly 25 million children affected by it today, the bottom line is that obesity is a threat to our children. These 10 frightening facts illuminate just how dangerous and costly childhood obesity is.

Only 2% of kids in the U.S. eat healthy: Based on diet specifications established by the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA), only 2% of children in the United States have a healthy diet. It can be easy to dismiss statistics when so many numbers are thrown at you at once. Don’t be fooled. This means that 98% of American children eat unhealthy meals every day. This is a staggering number. In a survey of American high school seniors, only 3 out of every 10 report eating vegetables “nearly” every day. Of the vegetables consumed in the United States, one-fourth are in the form of french fries or potato chips. We hate to say it, but vegetables fried in grease hardly count as your daily dose of vegetables (even though they taste oh so good). Vegetables aside, soft-drink consumption has increased 300% in the last 20 years. 300%! To give us all a little perspective, one 16 ounce serving of regular Coke has 194 calories and 54 grams of sugar. That’s bad.
Fast food consumption is rising: One of the primary contributing factors to obesity in both adults and children is fast food consumption. We all know that fast food is bad for us and yet we continue to eat it. Fast food can be easier and even cheaper when time and money are both scarce. However, the more fast food children consume, the further we get from remedying the epidemic of child obesity. In a survey of high school students, the average teenager in the United States eats fast food twice a week. Eating fast food at a young age develops the habit of eating fast food as an adult. Studies show that low income families are more likely to eat fast food than higher income families. Even more alarming, a study done of 200 neighborhoods reported that there were three times as many supermarkets in wealthy neighborhoods as there were in poor neighborhoods, leaving fast food restaurants as the most convenient option for many low income families.
About 25% of kids don’t do any physical activity: When we think of being a kid, we think of running and playing tag or going t-ball practice. In movies and television shows little kids seem to be constantly running around and playing. Our idealized conception of childhood as a time of playful activity is what makes the following statistic so shocking: one in every four children does not participate in any free-time physical activity. What?! This means that one-fourth of all children under the age of 10 are not running and playing tag or hide-and-seek. No chasing each other on the playground? No climbing trees or jumping rope? More and more kids are spending their free time doing stationary activities. Furthermore, the importance of activity for children is going unnoticed as physical education classes are cut because of lowering school budgets. 92% of elementary schools do not have daily P.E. classes year-round and less than a quarter of high school students take a P.E. class once a day.
Kids spend up to 5 hours daily watching TV: To further the problem, in addition to physical education classes being cut, children are spending more time pursuing sedentary activities. According to The Clinton Foundation, a typical American youth spends approximately 4 to 5 hours a day watching TV, using the computer or playing video games. It’s no real surprise that television watching is closely correlated to childhood obesity. After all, there is no way a child can burn the calories he or she consumed that day if nearly all of their leisure time is spent sitting in front of a television. Several studies indicate that television viewing should be regarded as an important contributing factor to childhood obesity. Among kids ages 12 to 17, the prevalence of obesity increased by 2% for each hour of television viewed, even after considering variables such as prior weight, race, and socio-economic status.
Obese children make poor students: There is growing evidence indicating that children who eat well and lead an active lifestyle perform better academically. It’s not hard to believe that a healthy body makes a healthy mind. As discussed by the organization Action for Healthy Kids, a recent study of 5,000 children established a relationship between diet quality and academic performance. The lower the quality of diet, the lower a person performs academically. Research shows that regular physical activity aids in cognitive and academic development in kids between the ages of 7 and 11. Furthermore, overweight children miss 4 times more school than a child of normal weight does. So, on top of the fact that poor diet and low activity levels make it more difficult to perform cognitive functions, obese children are also missing valuable time in the classroom because of their obesity. If kids aren’t in school and performing to the best of their ability, then they can’t learn and flourish.
The risk for heart disease jumps: Cardiovascular Disease technically refers to any disease involving the heart or blood vessels. However, generally the term is used to refer to atherosclerosis, which is a condition that develops when plaque builds up in the walls of the arteries. This buildup inhibits blood flow, potentially causing heart attack or stroke. Now you’re thinking, “wait, weren’t we talking about child obesity here?” Most people consider stroke and heart attack adult concerns. However, in a population-based sample of children ages 5 to 17, 70% of obese youth had at least one risk factor for cardiovascular disease. High levels of cholesterol and high blood pressure are two of the main risk factors for the development of heart disease. Most obese children have high cholesterol levels, high blood pressure, or both. The primary way to manage cardiovascular disease is with diet and lifestyle intervention.
Half of diabetic children are overweight: Type-2 Diabetes is also termed “adult onset diabetes” because originally, only adults were afflicted with it. This, however, is quickly changing. There is an alarming increase in the number of children and adolescents developing Type-2 Diabetes throughout the world due to being overweight. According to The American Diabetes Association, 45% of children diagnosed with diabetes have Type-2 Diabetes due to being obese or overweight. Moreover, between the years 2005 and 2008, the number of children with Type-2 Diabetes doubled in America (if this rate continues that number will have doubled again this year in 2011). In some countries, type-2 diabetes has become the most common form of disease in children and in North America at least one in every 100 youth has been diagnosed with some form of diabetes.
Sleep apnea is a growing threat: As defined by the Mayo Clinic, sleep apnea is a condition where one’s breathing repeatedly stops and starts throughout the night. A study preformed in 2009 suggests that sleep apnea is the most severe problem faced by obese children. There are two types of sleep apnea: central sleep apnea, which occurs when the brain doesn’t send the proper signals, and obstructive sleep apnea, which occurs when throat muscles relax too much and the airway collapses. Obese children are at a greater risk of developing obstructive sleep apnea because their tonsils are so large that it can interfere with the ability of the chest and abdomen to fully expand during breathing. Sleep apnea is associated with decreased quality of life. Sufferers may also experience behavioral, neurocognitive, cardiovascular, metabolic, endocrine, and psychiatric complications.
Health care costs are triple what they are for healthier children: The cost of obesity for both the national health care system and the individual has sky rocketed in the past few years as obesity quickly becomes an epidemic. In an examination of the cost of obesity for Americans, researchers report that Americans spend 9% of their total medical costs on obesity-related illnesses and that the national cost of obesity is approximately $45 billion per year. Moreover, children treated for obesity are roughly three times more expensive for the health care system than children of normal weight. To put this statistic into perspective, this means that children who are being treated for obesity and obesity related illnesses spend more on health care than smokers. The indirect cost of obesity, including missed work and future earnings losses, has been estimated at %56 billion dollars per year. As if the cost of your health and happiness weren’t enough, obesity also costs your bank account and the national health system a huge amount of money.
Obese children will live shorter lives than their parents: Perhaps the most frightening facts concerned with childhood obesity are the projections being made about an obese child’s life expectancy. We know that heart disease and type-2 diabetes shorten a person’s lifespan, but what happens when we talk about children under the age of 10 with these “adult” conditions? A study performed in 2005 projected that if obesity among children continues to increase, the current generation of children will live shorter lives than their parents. Let’s hear this just one more time: if childhood obesity trends continue, children born now may die before their parents. This is an utterly terrifying thought. This projection means that obesity is not only more expensive, but also, more dangerous to a person’s health than smoking cigarettes. With obese youth being 80% more likely to become overweight or obese adults and, therefore, more at risk of developing heart disease, type 2 diabetes, stroke, cancer, and osteoarthritis, it’s not too difficult to see that shorter lifespan could become a problem. Childhood obesity is a dire issue. These 10 facts underscore the necessity for a healthy diet and active lifestyle at all ages, but especially for children.

Special Contributor: Corrine Smith

Read more.

Parenting Toddlers to Teens: What Happened?

2011-03-01T07:50:00.000-08:00

What happened to that sweet 5 year-old you sent off to Kindergarten?

What happened to that athletic tween that loved T-Ball?

What happened to my little angel that loved going to the mall with me?

What happened to my child that always worked so hard to get good grades and always worked to make me proud?

Where did my kind son go?

Where did their childhood go?

Today's society is challenging for teenagers - but can be even more distressful for their parents. When slowly they watch their good child turn into a tween or teen that they barely recognized. Underneath the questionable clothing, the piercings we had to reluctantly agree to - and the tattoos they got on their own - our child is deep in there somewhere!

After exhausting all local resources, whether it is an excellent adolescent therapist to local support groups and even out-patient facilities, you are looking at a teen that is heading down a dark road. It is time for parents to dig deep and find the strength to get their teen the help they need - unfortunately it usually is not at home.

Residential therapy is a big step and a step not to take lightly. Are you considering a Residential Treatment Center, Therapeutic Boarding School, Military School or other out of home options? Learn about the differences and find what is best for your teen - visit www.helpyourteens.com.

Read Wit's End! Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out-of-Control Teen today!